Me + bus = problems

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  Curitiba, Brazil
Saturday, December 29, 2007

The bus is cruising along just fine through the darkness and I get some shut eye but then sometime around 9am we suddenly stop in the middle of the highway.  Man, this can`t be good.  We sit there without moving for like an hour and I start to get a bit worried.  Ok, this isn`t just your ordinary good natured traffic jam.  I have no idea what the problem is and from what I can gather neither does anyone else.  After sitting on the bus for approximately 2 or 3 hours I decide to go for a walk and take a wiz.  I sat in the bus for as long as possible as it is ridiculously hot outside and our bus has an alternative power source apparently and therefore we have air conditioning.  I found out though that a semi carrying toxic materials flipped (he`ll flip you, flip you for real - ususal suspects) and that is the cause of our less than satisfying circumstance.  Therefore, I have some time before we start moving I`m guessing and I can`t sit in this seat any longer.  The thing is, I don`t understand why they don`t divert traffic to the otherside of the highway.  Cars are flying past us going northbound and fucking honking their horns to boot while we just sit there baking in the sun.  All they (whoever they is) need to do is find a place for us to cross to the other side (of which I saw several on my lil walk), make a temporary 2 lane highway until we get past the wreckage and then divert us back over to our side of the highway and we would all be moving and satisfied.  But no, we end up just sitting there for 6 hours.  Brazil is the fucking dumbest country sometimes.  I have never ever been involved in such a situation in the US.  I mean, are they that stupid, just don`t have the resources or just don`t care? 

As I am walking around I see cars and semi trucks lined up as far as the curvature of the earth will let me see.  It ooked like something out of a movie and was a bit surreal.  Thousands of people are laying under the semis in order to avoid the sun.  They can`t sit in their cars with the air on because their batteries would be dead and if they sat in their cars with the air off they would be dead.  I`ve seen some stupid things in my day like Chris Webber calling a timeout, The Bay of Pigs Invasion (I actually don`t think I was old enough to see this), the OJ Simpson Trial, the Flobee and Free Willy but man this takes the cake faster than John Candy would at the bakery.  Finally, after 6 hours they shut off traffic going the opposite direction and divert us to the other side until we get past the wreckage.  I give Brazilians credit though, they are very resolute, even-tempered and caring.  People were walking around offering what food they had and seeing if people needed water and once again I didn`t see one person really bitch or complain (maybe they were and I just couldn`t understand, a real possibility). 

I arrive in Curitiba 7 hours late and I inadvertenly just had a 21 hour bus ride, sweet.  While I am at the bus terminal I buy my ticket to Foz do Iguacu for Monday meaning I will spend New Years here.  Sid wants me to go to Florianapolis for New Years which I seriously consider but that is just another bus ride plus I`lI be farther away from Foz.  I walk towards this hotel that is supposedly nice and relatively cheap and stop off for some grub and of course I see two teenagers just going at it as I am sitting there eating my cheeseburger (or more appropriately, hamburguesa con queso).  They seriously make out hardcore for like 10 minutes straight and I laugh on the inside the entire time, dude get a room, no fuck a room, you need an entire house.  You think I would be used to such a prominent display of public affection but it still amuses me everytime.  I find the hotel and it`s pretty nice but no air conditioning.  And fuck me in the all encompassing ass, I have a cold sore.  FUUUUCCCCKKKKKK.  Ok, I shouldn`t be pissed, I mean I have just gone 2 1/2 months without getting one.  Not to mention I partied my ass off, at times didn`t sleep much and was in the sun more than a california raisin, all of which are the ingredients to cold sore hell (that is the worst grammatical sentence I haver ever written).  But still, New Years is only 2 days away, great timing (this one is just as bad).  If you know me at all then you know if there is one thing in this world to put me in a less than stellar mood it`s a cold sore.  God, I fucking hate these things more than Henry VIII hated Ann Boleyn.  If I could choose one thing to change about me physically, I would choose to never get a cold sore again.  If someone told me that I would never get another cold sore but I would have 5 years taken off my life, I would take the deal, seriously.  Anyways, I end up walking around the city for awhile and it reminds me of Salvador with it's cobbled streets, awkward hills and restaurants and bars with seating outside on said cobbled streets.  I get some dinner and a beer and I crash around 1.  This has been a long long day. 

Fin

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