I meet the craziest dude ever
Trip Start
Oct 19, 2007
1
37
126
Trip End
Ongoing
Arraial d'Ajuda,
Brazil
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Tim, hey, thanks for checking out the blog and the advice for what to say next time I joke around and the person doesnīt get it and gets pissed. BTW: I love Brazil, why did you ever leave.
Emmab: Yo, thanks for saying this is the funniest travel blog ever. Do I know you or are you a random? I hope you are a random, that would be sweet to have other people reading this stupid thing.
Guess what, I wake up and itīs raining again. Go figure. I walk around town and to some other random spots. I see a bunch of stairs and climb them. Itīs weird, whenever I see stairs I always want to climb them, kind of like when I see an Asian chick, I always want to mount her, donīt know why, I just do. I guess because with stairs you never know what you will find at the top and with an Asian chick you never know if youīll get to eat sushi or not (sorry, gross). This stair climbing experience wasnīt quite as entertaining as the one in Salvador, but the top did offer a nice view of the surrounding area and the ocean. I found out that I won my regular season ff league - I went 11-1 and just won $500. Pimp. $500 = another week or more in SA.
BTW: Nobody in Brazil likes George Bush. I bet 30% of the time I meet Brazilians who speak english the first thing they say is "Fucking Bush". Intriguing how American politics are followed by people in other countries. Iīve actually had to have discussions with people concerning Bush and the war in Iraq and my opinions on both. Kinda sucks as thatīs the last thing I want to talk about but I usually oblige them.
BTW2: Brazil would absolutely suck in a war. They would get mopped like the Royals playing anyone in the AL (not the NL though biatch). I bet if Brazil went to war right now against Delaware, Delaware would win, easily. Brazil should invade Antartica, just to give them a sense of empowerment and national pride. I could see the Brazilian armada lined up along the shores of Antartica ready to take out whatever scientific research post is set up at the time and one guy puts in a music tape to get the armada pumped up but he accidentally puts in the song "We represent the lollipop guild". I think something happened like this in the Simpsons when Burns is in a tank in front of the Simpsonīs crib and he tells Smithers to put in war music and Smithers recorded over the tape with some cheesy ass gay song.
BTW3: Why are we allies with Canada? Seriously, how can they help? Maybe they could get the opposition drunk or annoy them to death with "heyīs". If I was Canada and I had the backing power of the US, Iīd just declare war on everyone, including the US.
BTW4: Can every Brazilian play a musical instrument? It seems everyone I meet can play a musical instrument. It must be innate.
Iīve noticed here some keyboards and even some menus have Hebrew. Seriously. One menu I saw, half of it was written in Portuguese and then the other half of it was written in Hebrew. That means that a lot of Isrealiīs come to Arrail dÁjuda. How the hell do Isrealiīs write Hebrew on a computer? Since Hebrew is read from right to left, does this mean when they write on a computer that they have to write backwards? This intrigues me and I need to know. Someone jewish out there please help me out.
It has basically rained for about a week straight now. I decide to go swimming in the ocean anyways. I mean why not, Iīm going to be wet anyways. So I jump into the ocean and splash around for a bit. But then I see why this sucks. Itīs because once you get out of the ocean and it is raining it is impossible to get dry. Stupid wetness.
BTW again: I really miss sportscenter. I also miss Keith Olberman and Craig Kilborn doing the show together. They were by far the best duo ever. Nate and I used to watch the 12:00 sportscenter with those two guys damn near every weeknight in college. Espn should release a dvd of the best moments of Olberman and Kilborn, Iīd buy two of them.
Later on I run into a dude who is half American half Brazilian, and he is the craziest fucker I have ever met. He grew up in San Diego with his father (his mother stayed in Brazil). We end up drinking together at some bar for awhile (damn it, no wonder I canīt shake this cold, I always have a reason to drink here even when I donīt have one). In highschool he got kicked out for doing something bad and he set the school on fire in retaliation. Seriously. But the school blamed it on some retarded kid because he said a couple weeks before that he was going to start a fire in the school. He is married but his wife lives in Belo Horizonte with their kid. He just decided to take up and leave for awhile. Apparently he does this often. He thinks heīll stay in Arraial for 6 months or so this time. It seems to me he kind of hates his wife and would like her to die. Ok, so lets go through some of the things this kid has done that I remember, He boned his half sister - thatīs right - half sister, he fucked her. He shot his brother, I forget the circumstances but he definitely shot him and it was on purpose. And the best is once in Brazil he was smoking a joint on a long distance bus. And not in the bathroom mind you but in the fucking seat. Yep, just sat there smoking a spliff. Then the bus stopped in the middle of nowhere and he was like "what the fuck is going on, is it a flat tire or something". No, they stopped it because he was smoking a joint and he didnīt even think thatīs why the bus stopped, so he just kept puffing away. An off duty cop was on the bus and they kick him off in the middle of nowhere with all his luggage in the middle of the night and he had to hitchhike the rest of the way. Oh and tonight, he is talking (flirting) with some chick who is his Uncleīs ex-wife and he tells me he will rail her later and from her body language I donīt doubt it. Hah, this kid kills me and his stories make mine look like Sesame Street sing-a-longs. I totally believe him too. You know how with some people you can just tell they are full of shit? Well with this dude you can just tell that he isnīt making any of this shit up. Canīt explain it, but if you were there youīd know what I was talking about. Anyways, it was good times and I my mouth dropped to the floor after every story he told me. Interesting life, a fucked up one, but interesting. Hope his uncle doesnīt get mad if he finds out about his nephew and his ex-wife. Apparently the uncle is in jail though, so it shouldnīt be a problem until he gets released.
fin
