Da Tide against da Volunteers

Trip Start Oct 19, 2007
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of United States  , Alabama
Saturday, October 20, 2007

We drove towards the stadium and parked on a side street which was one block closer to the stadium than the $10 parking lot we just passed.  Ewee and I are getting more stingy with our funds.  We find this funny however as we noticed several cars pulling into the $10 lot as we passed it and realized on first impression that Alabamians actually were really stupid.  But then we realized that they were smart enough to know that their country men were stupid and would pay $10 to park when you could actually park closer for free.  So then we just got confused.  We head to the quad and tents are everywhere with people tailgating but without the truck.  These setups were sick, flat panels, satellite dishes, stereoes and food and drinks everywhere.  This one tent actually had an entire entertainment center set up.  It just so happened Ewee bought a $5 Alabama jersey at Marshalls one day which randomly had Kenny Stabler┤s name on the back.  Although he didn┤t know it then, but today, fate would raise it sometimes beautiful head.  And it just so happened there was a Sports Illustrated station with none other than your very own Kenny Stabler signing autographs for free.  Ewee got a boner.  They also have the Heisman trophy so we each get a piture with the trophy (btw:  the Heisman pose is a lot more complicated than one would expect).  Then off to see Kenny flippin Stabler.  He totally looked like Dr. Emmit Brown from Back to the Future.  If Ewee sends me the pics I┤ll show you.  I was dying when I saw him.  I wanted sooooo bad to say ``When this baby hits 88 mph you are going to see some serious shit``.  But I somehow refrain.  Then they had this spot where there were like 5 foot metal football players sticking out their arms with a hole and you had to throw this mini ball through.  These balls weren┤t nerf or anything either, you could wing them if you really wanted to.  But everyone was gently tossing the ball towards the intended target especially since they were only 5 feet away.  But of course me being me, I had other intentions in mind.  So I pick up one of the balls and chuck it as hard as I can right at the metal dude┤s dome.  The guy tilts over quite a bit, a loud sound ensues and the ball richochete┤s past my head doing about 40mph and hits some guy in the leg.  I almost fell to ground laughing: nobody else found it funny which confused me.  Oh, hah, and they were also giving out cones into which one could yell stuff through in which it thus became magnified.  Of course I took one, much to Ewee┤s chagrim.  We go back into the quad and four girls are passing a volleyball around, so just at the opportune time I run up and spike the shit out of it.  I thought it was funny, but Ewee said the one girl almost had a heart attack.  I┤m awesome though and retrieve the spiked volleyball and give it back to the girls.  Then we came to a cross street and a parade began featuring some of the finer women at UofA.  These would be the cheerleaders and pom pom girls.  But then, then, the flag girls started walking down the street, holy shit were they awful.  Totally reminded me of when Meg became a flag girl in Family Guy (awww I miss Family Guy, and cereal, but I┤ll get to that in another post), and how everyone made fun of her cuz flag girls were like the losers who were trying to fit in.  It wasn┤t just a joke but reality, believe me.  This one fatty in her tight flag girl outfit looked like a cantalope trying to be stuffed into a fucking sock.  I yell out through the cone, `Diets are good, Diets are good┤`(a variation of a Dumb and Dumber line).  Ewee for some crazy reason takes the cone from me and tells me he┤s starting to get annoyed with me.  Not bad, it was already 10:20, I figured he would be annoyed way before this.  Gotta give credit to Ewee┤s patience.  I throw the cone away in order to keep the brotherhood intact.  Sucks, I loved that cone.  Get to the game and the place is electrifying.  Everyone should experience an SEC game once in their life.  98,000 fans!!  Alabama wins, which is awesome because this trip is for my brother and that was the best thing that could have happened.  BTW: draft DJ Hall in your fantasy draft next year, he┤s a pimp.  I actually got chills when the crowd did their chant they always do once they know the game is locked up.  It goes like this....`Hey Vols, Hey Vols, Hey Vols, we just beat the hell outta you, Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer, Give em hell Alabama`┤.  It may not seem cool but to hear 90,000 people yell that all at once is quite the experience.  We get a 12 pack after the game and walk around as people are everywhere drinking in the quad and stuff.  I see a tent with a sign on it that says Law Enforcement, so I sit down in one of the chairs and take a swig of beer right under their sign, hah take that law enforcement, you may have a tent and a sign but I┤m drinking a beer in it (it┤s actually illegal to have open alcohol, but they look past it for a couple of hours after the game).  This is my favorite picture so far.  Then I saw this one chick walking with bare feet and they looked dirty so I tried to be nice and tell her her toes were dirty to which she replied ╠ know`.  Then I asked `Do you want me to suck them clean`, to which she replied to me with the finger, hmmm, bitch.  I found this quite amusing, Ewee looked indifferent.  We hang out for awhile, go get a yellow hammer at CPS and we end up leaving around 8pm or so.  We plan on going back out but we are dead tired and don┤t make it.  We had been drinking since 2:30, so no big deal.  The weekend was awesome, especially spending time with my brother.  I don┤t get to do that much anymore and I appreciated the time together.  Seeing the campus and the game and the stadium and everything was unforgettable.  But, my real trip starts tomorrow as I leave for Miami. 
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