The joy of a housewife getting a ticket for a Tim Henman tennis game can be closely matched to a bloke getting a ticket for the Grand Final. The actual process of having to camp outside Wimbledon on a Summers night, hoping that they may just be one of the lucky one's that get the chance to shout "Go Tim," is a reality for hundreds every year; paying a small fortune in the process.
For us the reality was a little easier, and cheaper. Tim was playing in Australia's version of Wimbledon, The Australian Open, here in Melbourne. Some how, the powers to be, ranked Tim as 5th Favourite (have they seen this man play?). Because of this, he was matched against a French guy that nobody had ever heard of, and apparently wasn't any good!
It was an evening game, so it only cost us $15 (6 pounds) to watch the whole match! Due to the Ashes being played in Blighty this year, the Barmy Army were out in force, cheering on Tim unlike anything he would have heard from his usual fans! The stadium was full of Brits, clad in the usual uniform of England football shirt draped with the St George Cross flag!
Tim won the first 2 sets easily, every point won being cheered like our football team had just scored. The French man just had no chance against all the English fans chants. But Tim being Tim didn't want to win it easily, losing the next 2 sets, taking it to a fifth! We kept ourselves amused by the constant Mexican waves, and banter between each stand!
He did eventually win, nearly 3 hours after he started! After shaking his opponent's hand, he turned and thanked out stand - blatantly the loudest there! I was glad we had come to the game, although not a massive fan of tennis, we knew that we would never be able to see him in England!
Tim would later win his next match in straight sets, but in true Henman style bowel out in Match 3, being beaten by a nobody - again! I took solace in the fact that the Australian twat Leyton Hewitt - ["COME ON" - shut up!!] lost in the final. They loved him over here, everything would stop when he was playing, so I was quite happy when he lost - see Australia isn't the 'best' at everything!
Other highlights in January
· Went to my first 'Meet the Neighbours' night. Held in a pub in St Kilda, you pay a small fortune to meet a few of the stars. This night I, along with Leanne, Katie and Susie, met Paul Robinson, Steph Scully and Liliana Bishop. These events are held weekly, and are always sold out (300 people). I was also picked to "snog for a minute" with some random bird plucked from the crowd, winning me a trip along the Great Ocean Road. Easiest prize I've ever won!
· Persuaded a club promoter that me and Dan were 'big name' Dj's from London, over here on our 'Australian Tour.' Leading us to get our first Dj job. Although a bit rusty at first, we quickly got into it and had the entire crowd of 750 people jumping around like lunatics. We laughed when we watched a few dancers at the front put talcum powder on the floor. They have a certain dance over here called the 'Melbourne Shuffle,' and apparently it makes it easier to dance! I can't see clubs in London letting you bring bottles of white powder into a club!
· Were quite disappointed not to find any Sexy Swedish Lesbians at the Melbourne Gay Pride march. Well we were under the impression that all Lesbians are blonde, sexy and Swedish, that's what they look like in the magazines! Instead they were all small, short haired, had hairy armpits, and were very vocal about being "Out and Proud." Got scared when a gay man stopped walking, came back to me, pointed and said "I want you." Went home... quickly after that! [Got this on video as well - very funny]
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