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Urban Australian Life
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Day 7
For those of you more informed individuals who may have seen a certain Simpsons episode involving a large boot, or else know something about the Coriolis Effect, you may be interested to know that I have done some investigating into this matter. My first attempts were hampered by the fact that all the toilets here flush right down the drain in one big blast, without all the American fancy swirling stuff. I did notice, however, that Heath now walks in clockwise circles before he finally lies down on the rug. And this led me to think about this crazy narcoleptic dog video I saw one time, which led me to wonder about narcolepsy, which led me to look at the answer to ALL life's questions-Wikipedia, where I found this article, which dispells the popular myth about toilets swirling clockwise down here and counterclockwise in the Northern Hemisphere. Apparently, this is all hogwash (though hogwash, as a rule doesn't swirl at all, but sort of dribbles) and the only determining factor for which way the water swirls is the direction the toilet jet is aimed around the bowl.
I've also been having trouble with light switches. Now you may think to yourself-well I know how to use a light switch. I used em loads a times. Ya jes' flick it up an' quickernyukin' say Tommy Boy Edison, der's light. Well, that's where you'd be wrong. You see, in Australia, not only should you look right first before crossing the street (I had a close encounter with a fender the other day), but you must flick the lightswitch DOWN in order to turn it on. Just let that sink in for a minute. It's a depraved and forlorn place this is!
So anyway, as Jane started work today and Heath and Ian were at school, it was just me and Neil at the homestead, which meant one thing: World Cup Rugby. It may have escaped the majority of the American TV watching public that the Rugby Union Championship has been going on in France and Wales for the last several days, but let be the first to tell you that it is a highly popular point of conversation here in Australia. Especially given the merciless 3-91 thrashing Japan received at the hand of the Wallabies.
Apart from the Scotland-Portugal match and a lot of Internet surfing, I managed to get out of the house to explore a bit and discover the shortcomings of my wide-angle lens for shooting birds. And I don't mean taking pictures of
rude hand gestures. I stepped off onto a highly flooded footpath near Neil and Jane's, which winds it's way through a forest of tea trees to the beach in hopes that I would find (and be able to photograph) some nature along the way. Well in the two or so hours I was out and about I did manage to see a huge number of birds, but as I did not bring my binoculars and have already listed the ineffectiveness of my lens, I couldn't really get close enough to satisfactorily identify anything. But I did get some nice pictures of the beach. Which, of course, is not hard to do, because Dicky Beach is absolutely one of the most gorgeous beaches I have ever visited. I am really looking forward to the surfing lesson Neil has set up for me, Heath, and Ian tomorrow. I'm also delighted that the instructor will be bringing a wetsuit that, with any luck, I can pull on by myself.
So for the most part, it was a quiet day. After my walkabout I went for some lap swimming, and was joined
after a time by Heath and Ian. (Ian informed me that he's seen old ladies with peg-legs swim the backstroke better than me.) And then Neil cooked up a really tasty meal of vegetable and pesto pasta, Italian salad, and lamb steaks. I shudder to think what combinations of peanut butter, tuna, and cabbage I'll be eating for every meal over the next several months. And now it is time for me to find my way to my mattress in the garage next to the pool table and try to ignore the EEP- EEP- EEP- EEP of the gecko that has taken up residence in some undiscoverable corner of that room. So, to all of you who will be waking up shortly, I hope you have a pleasant Monday. Mine was good. And when you go to sleep take solace in living in a country where geckos sell car insurance instead of chirping like some weird ninja cricket that shuts up when you near it and then attacks with some kind of aural Street Fighter move like a tiny reptilian Guile punching you in the eardrum every time you try to drift off. So with that, I wish you sweet dreams.
Buenas noches,
Matt
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