Cultural quirks and Mary's mishaps (part 1 of - )
Trip Start
Aug 20, 2009
1
5
17
Trip End
Aug 26, 2010
Sokcho, Gangwon, Korea Rep.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
So anyway, the next day I had almost forgotten, until she approached me at the end of the day with something like "We go to face massage now" and it all came back to me . . .with a little less eagerness. We drove to this little buliding and rode the elevator up to a tiny, but very attractive little spa (all shades of green tea) and waited until they could take us... I was escorted to a changing room where I was instantly assaulted by every kind of uncertainty. The robe I had received was, in fact, not a robe but a long old lady type skirt in some kind of gauzy pink. Should I take off my bra? Leave the skirt around my hips and my boobs flying? Pull the skirt over my boobs like some kind of muumuu? Get completely naked? Oh the horrors of uncertainty. Finally my co-teacher, Hyeyeong, probably completely horrified by my lack of understanding, enlightened me - muumuu style was appropriate - sans bra.
We were then led back between our little partition of green tea curtains and my massage began with the most brusque and frantic movements tousling my hair, my shoulders, and my nerves. Between occasional demands that I "Relax! Relax!" I think every muscle in my body probably tensed up in rebellion against this new assault.
And this, my friends, was only the beginning. What ensued during the next 90 minutes was somewhere between assault, sado masochistic bondage, and at times beautiful and heavenly relaxation during which I could hear the angels crying.
After the first brusque introduction, my massage warden got to work on my face, annointing it with at least 75 different ointments at one time or other - carefully rearranging my hair back into a headband every time it so much as slipped back an inch.
The promised "boob massage" again took on an extremely brusque tone - I felt like we were on some kind of time schedule and if my chest wasn't fully gone over in the next ten minutes then the brink of the apocalypse would be upon us. But then again, we hadn't gotten to the "back" part of my "face" massage. My warden managed to massage my back. WHILE I was still laying on my back - just thrusting her arms - with EXTREME determination down my spine.
Then . . .with only the phrase "You don't need to open your eyes" my captor spread some kind of adhesive mud with the fortitude of duct tape firmly over my mouth. I think she saw my eyes fly open in some kind of panic - but before I could defend myself she gummed over my eyes with the same sturdy stuff. I was now blind, mute, and helpless. In my weakened state, she asked me if I wanted "an air push?" You think at this point I would be a little cautious about agreeing to things that I know nothing about - but of course, still blind and mute - I nodded my head. The next thing I know - my legs are being lifted and STRAPPED, BUCKLED, and ZIPPED into some kind of torture device. I really thought about trying to run. Apparently she asked me if I wanted an "air BOOT" not a push - these boots essentially squeeze air (like a blood pressure pump) so that your entire lower leg and foot is compacted to half it's original size (it's like that scene in Star Wars when Luke and his friends are stuck in the garbage compressor. It was . . . a little desperate for a while. I was frantically breathing through my nose (hyperventilating wouldn't be exactly relaxing.
I will say though, that after this, once my breathing, and seeing had been restored, and my legs freed from the trash compacter, and as my massage continued, I was . . . if not completely relaxed, at least completely subdued into some kind of limp and weakened state that actually . . . made the rest of the massage very enjoyable.
I walked out of there with greasy bangs (despite the headband I think all 75 face products ended up in my hair), but feeling like a new person. Come to Korea and I'll take you to get a "face massage" for yourself.
