La Boca is the least of your worries...
Trip Start Apr 29, 2006
70Trip End Ongoing
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How good is avoiding death? Not dying? Brilliant
There's something about having firecrackers thrown at you that makes being crushed pale in comparison. Same as being spat on for an entire football match. And, while we're on the subject, it's a similar deal for having unidentified liquids being tipped over you frequently. All of them at the same time is a complete domination. Welcome to a Boca Juniors game. At the legendary La Bombonera. Where it all started for Maradona. My question is - whose idea was it to put the fucking away supporters right above the Boca stand? Perfect placement to maximise death. Good thinking. So, as the taunts come from the Boca supporters below, random stuff of all sorts flies over the edge of the stand and into the crowd below. It rained spit. All game. Random liquids everywhere. I don't want to know what they were
If Argentina had its own version of monopoly, Recoleta would be Mayfair. Your dog or boot lands on Recoleta with a hotel on it? $2000. Do it. Recoleta is your typical ritzy neighbourhood, filled with enormous, gorgeous 18th and 19th century mansions, the lush green of the countless parks of the area a constant as you wander around the area. The jewel of recoleta is its cemetery. I know what you're thinking - that's a bit fucking weird. But the cemetery is famous for the architecture of its grand tombs of Argentina's wealthy - the elite - including Eva Peron. Recoleta cemetery. Interesting. Decent.
Leaving a love is difficult. But there's an old Shakespearean saying isn't there... about love. I can't quite remember it now. Something about love and stuff, loss or something like that being better. There was probably a ´tis´in there as well
So, to the Top 5. Before I came to South America, people kept warning me - be careful. Kidnapping, muggings, drugs, falling of a mountain or getting kicked by a llama. Just watch out and you'll be fine. But no one ever tells you about the thing that's most likely to kill you in South America - the food in Argentina. It should, more appropriately, be called 'Argentinean food of the devil of the death straight from fucking hell'. Now, in truth, it's not the food entirely, but the stupid, ludicrous, completely taking-the-piss deals that are offered that have me, as I leave Buenos Aires, with one foot in a coffin. Here are the top 5 Buenos Aires food offers sure to kill you:
5. Hot dogs. Guess what they're called here. Superpanchos. Good name. 50c Australian. Normal hot dog not your style? Chorizo it up. In a bun. Get in there. $1. Awesome.
4. Pizza of the devil of the death. One pizza shop - all it does is margherita pizza. Super fatty. Heaps of cheese. Big fuckers like death. $2. Killing me.
3. Super combo of the devil. Hamburger, chips and glass of coke. $1.50. I'm finding it hard to breathe. You're joking me.
1. El Alamo bar. 24 hours. Get this - free beer from midday - midnight. Fuck off. That's bullshit. Free pizza from 3 - 8pm. What? How am I meant to survive this city? Death is certain. Tell my parents I love...
I need to get out. Not dying? Brilliant.