Oh great - beer capital of the world?
Trip Start Apr 29, 2006
70Trip End Ongoing
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"...I head to Prague for some relaxation which may well prove to be a life saver...".
Bullshit. Relaxation? Bullshit. Break? Bullshit. And it's not my fault. Truly. The realisation that Prague was not going to be the relaxation haven that I had hoped hit me quite early on. After seeking out my hostel, I went in search of a quiet beer to accompany my reading. On ordering, the bartender said - 15 krona please. Doing the mental arithmetic, and then acting in pure shock, I blurted out, almost pleading with him not to be so ridiculous "but that's less than a dollar".
Me: "You're killing me." Head slumps
My general feeling about the Prague nightlife may just be an extension of my feelings of Prague as a whole. Trying to summarise feelings that you aren't quite certain bout is difficult. Let's start with the expected - Prague - undeniably beautiful
Most people are bothered by the tourists. Me? Not so much, especially being one of them, and having had the expectation that they would be here in droves. Tourists are one thing. Americans, of course, are another. Now, I've been pretty good so far with my portrayal of American tourists, but one interaction in Prague still just makes me laugh. As we walk into the post office, there's this dude, slumped over a package, concern and confusion evident on his face
Us: Um - what don't you know how to do?
Him: "I don't know what to do on this package."
Us: "You want to send the package?"
Him: "Yeah - I don't know what to do".
Us: "Mate - you write the address on the front."
Us: "Yeah. Where is says 'adressee'.
Him: "Yeah cool. So you guys gonna get shitty tonight?"
Us: "Uh - what?"
Him: "Get shitty. Y'know - shitty."
Us: "Huh? What?"
Him: Man - I got so shitty last night..."
Etc etc. Fucking funny. Idiot. Apparently he was sending a bottle of absinthe home to himself
In the end, I don't really know what we did in Prague. Frankly, we didn't see a lot. THe Lorento? Didn't see it. Jewish cemetery? Synagogue? Um... missed them. National Gallery? We were going to but... Museum of Sex Instruments? Conscious pass. Anything Kafka, Dvorak or Smetana related? Not so much. Us? Average... On days of action, which alternated with days of inaction, we did get to a few sights, the most disappointing, and almost the hardest work, being the mini-eiffel tower replica on Petrina Hill. On other days, there was recovery and chill time, the best of these spent lying and sleeping in a park on an island in the middle of the Vltava. Might I saw - the lushest grass ever seen on this earth. The finest sleeping park i have come across in a long while. Brilliant.
So, to summarise - Prague? Beautiful. But just as much as its beauty, its slightly depressing and certainly unfriendly atmosphere will linger in my mind. I can safely say that I harbour no burning ambition to return in the near future.
And so to the Top 5. Well, a new country, a new music top 5 right? Um... no. See, although technically the Czech Republic is a different country to Germany, I thought I should recognise it as a new member of the EU and consider, for the purposes of the Top 5 of the Devil of the Death Rules 2006, all EU countries together. So, instead, I forward the Top 5 achievements of my time in Prague:
5. Climbing St Vitus Cathedrale in 40 degrees with about a million other tourists
4. Finding a great variety of instant noodles at the supermarket. Insert 'Living the dream air punch of the devil of the death from hell.'
3. Going for a whole day - Tuesday - in Prague without being offered Marijuana.
2. DOminating 15 year olds at 5 a side soccer.
1. Struggling to eat 1/2 of a 1.4kg roast pork shank. Dominated.
Croatia next. Zagreb it up...