Having Trouble with Decisions and Planning

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Flag of United States  , Georgia
Friday, July 20, 2012

My trip is coming up sooner than I realize and maybe sooner than I want. When I first decided to go back in early March, it seemed so far off. But, I am leaving next Sunday (July 29th). I am feeling like I am in a funhouse with constantly shifting boards under my feet. One minute I am looking forward to the challenge of this amazing trip and the next I am gripped by indecision and fear. As of this writing, I booked two more days in Antigua, Guatemala but yesterday I sat for about an hour at the computer deciding if I should book a number of days in Panajachel. My plan is to fly into Guatemala City and be picked up by a shuttle provided by the hotel Posada Dona Luisa (in Antigua). I finally arranged that service after calling back and forth. From what I've read, Antigua is a beautiful colonial town, but also a global hot spot. It has dozens of Spanish schools, churches, plazas, and local markets. It also has a gym and a somewhat large Expat community (which at this point I need). According to a lady I met on line, it is a "Gringo" community. But I think I need this in order to meet up with like-minded people.

    There are also many lakeside developments, of which Panajachel is one. By lakeside I mean Lago De Atitlan, an amazing lake surrounded by volcanoes. Pana is really the most built-up lakeside settlement. I had toyed with the idea of booking a hotel in a smaller peaceful lakeside settlement in San Juan Laguna (8 miles from Pana) but decided against it even though the price was great with excellent reviews. The only problem was it was too far off the beaten path. That would be a great place to go if I wanted to be alone, which I do not. I need to be in the company of others since I am going alone anyway.  Another dilemma is I still cannot decide if I want to go into Belize. I won’t be that far away, but the logistics of getting there is daunting. I would either have to drive, take a bus, or plane. Either way, it will be a long haul, which might necessitate me having to rearrange my flight plans; that would be expensive too. Then I keep seeing ads on the Internet about incentives in Belize, but it is more costly to live there than Guatemala. One thing I do know is I have to accept that I do not have complete control of this trip. I can do my best to make plans but there is an element of “winging it” that fills me with uncertainty and a little dread. I like things in my life to be concrete but this trip is more like walking on quicksand. I have to just trust in God that things will fall into place at the right time. Adios for now. 
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