After Macedonia
Trip Start
Jul 05, 2006
1
9
Trip End
Jan 08, 2007
Sofia,
Bulgaria
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
now I have officially finished my EVS-period in Macedonia. I left Struga
on Saturday evening by bus to Sofia and here I'm I now, in this big city hosted by
the dearest Boriana ( whom many of you know). Sofia is preparing for Bulgara's entry to EU
and here seems to be lots of energy inthe air. Boriana told that most of the people expect situation to change for better overnight. That's a pity. But it is extremely nice to be a real city. :)
Well, many people have felt sorry for what happened in Struga and that i decided to leave. I'm also sorry, but the more I think about the whole situation, the better I feel that I left. Five months were totally enough I that place, because of what it offered-or what I could create there -differed so much of that what I intented to do. The voluntary tourism is just not the thing I wanted.
At the same time I'm happy that I went there, because more than anything being in Macedonia was a huge learning experince. Sometimes I really hated everything there and wished I hadn't come but that is not the case anymore. Few countries have for example such a complex (and amazingly difficult) history with great mixtures of everything. Also the language is an interesting mixture and i would like to continue learning it or at least its close relatives Bulgarian or Serbian in one way or another. Macedonia also brought me ideas for my master thesis, what is great. I would like to compare history school books in two different countries, possibly in Macedonia and in Bulgaria. The task would be hard but really interesting. :)
What I also hopefully learned, is some kind of realism towards people and life. It is since the beginning of April that I have been out of home and that time has definitely broadened my mind in several ways. All that enthuasism, love, misery, distrust, different living conditions and life histories that I have expriences and heard have made me a little bit older and in any case maybe a little bit less confused. Well, confused I will always be, but I just have to accept that as a part of personality.
What I also figured out in Macedonia, is that you don't have to accept everything you see in a different culture. First I really thought that the bad voluntary management and possibly even worse things that happend in my hosting organisation are just way of life in Macedonia. But it is not. I was also categorisized as a culture shock-girl when i didn't accept everything but that's how it will always be: people who disagree are seen just difficult. It would be so much easier to be just a cheep following the others but at least in Struga I couldn't do that.
But propably the most important that staying in Macedonia brought to my mind is that I cannot continue being globe ( or Europe) trotter forever and that , after all, Finland is most likely the place where I want to life. I always find something to criticize everywhere and not the least in my home country, but i want to go home and am happy to move to Helsinki in February. I know that part of me would always like to travel and explore more, but that is the human nature: never totally satified with what it has. I just have to get used to it. And I'm also really grateful and happy of the travelling I've been able to make. And for sure I will pack my bags at least for a shorter while also in the future. :)
To stop this semi-philosophical jargon I tell something about the last weeks in Struga. They were funny and weird days with not enough sleep. Everyday at work we went in front of the mirror with Marie to see how tired we were. And yeah, tired we really were. Because of the intependence day of Finland (6.12), my birthday, little-Christmas-party and many others things we were too much out and -of course- in the last days I socialized more than before going out with every possiblle waiter for example. Funny it was, but also really superficial. Luckily, on the last week i got also ex-EVS-volunteers Kristi and Moritz for a visit who at least a bit helped to keep my feet on the ground. They had just felt their EVS-positions in Bosnia and we could exchange our thoughts. And the absolute highlight was to bake pulla (Finnish pastries) and birthday cake at one most helpfull baba's place. It is nice that i have good memories of the last weeks but, to be honest, I would have gone nuts of that partying had lasted a bit longer. :).
I remember that when i left from Hungary and also from the Netherlands, it felt as if somebody had ripped off everything I had. Leaving Macedonia was different and i hope it is better so. Too much melancholy and nostalgy is not healthy anymore. :) I will miss the kids and some other people such as Anna and Marie and somebody else. And the food. And the lake and mountains. And normal people in the villages. Luckily the dearest Marie will also travel to Sofia in two days and we can explore the town together. And on Sunday the Christmas in Ljubljana is waiting. So overnice. :)
---
Just follow the light
And dont be afraid of the dark
In the moonlight
Youll dance till you fall
And always be here in my heart
cos its alright
Just follow the light
And dont be afraid of the dark
In the moonlight
Youll dance till you fall
And always be here in my heart
cos its alright, alright now
And youre alright
Yeah were alright now
(Travis: Follow the Light)
Now I go the visit a second-hand shop in Sofia! Lots of hugs for all of you and see you in Finland or elsewhere! Thanks for everything and ce najdobro! And happy, silent Christmas.
Maria
