USA - Route 66

  New York City, New York, United States
Saturday, October 6, 2007

GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY CONTAIN MATERIAL THAT SOME MAY FIND OFFENSIVE. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED
And now the end is near...this will be our last blog entry unfortunately (for us anyway, for you our devoted speed readers, perhaps not so much.) What a place to end the trip though, America is just one eye opening, jaw dropping experience after another. We have been in the states for nearly 4 weeks, and countries don't get more diverse than this one, culturally, socially, topographically, geographically, musically, fun-a-cally....we have seen the whole kit and kaboodle and we haven't even scratched the surface!

Miami Beach is probably not the most appropriate place for travellers like us whose idea of dressing up is putting on a clean pair of socks. One can get away with being sartorially challenged in the depths of the Amazon jungle as Barry's stripy pants will prove, or indeed the dodgy millinery of which we are both guilty. But in the 40 degree heat of Miami beach, surrounded by blonde, bronzed beauties on rollerblades, and some gorgeous women too, we were distinctly out of place. Miami is a great holiday destination, beautiful beaches, lovely art deco buildings and a major Latin connection; more than 60% of the population speak Spanish as their first language, and every sign and notice is in both languages, so our 'fluency' came in handy here too. Bienvenedos a Miami! We spent our few days there just hanging around and generally being very lazy, it was too hot to do anything else, and too expensive! Miami Beach was incredibly expensive, with all bars and restaurants adding 15-18% service charge on to the bill, and then expecting a further 15% tip thereafter. We flew from Miami to LA where we spent another few days soaking in the beautiful weather and pretending we were Dylan and Kelly from BH90210.

Beverley Hills

The epicentre of LA, Hollywood Boulevard is really run down considering its notoriety. Full of pawn shops, liqueur stores and cheque (check) cashing shops, you can bet that when I get my star on the walk of fame I will be insisting it be outside Graumans Chinese theatre and not Trader Joes Liquor store.

Hollywood Blvd

We went out to Beverly Hills, Rodeo Drive and watched the sun come up over Santa Monica boulevard; all of which made us green with envy at how unbelievably rich some of the people who live here are. The trip to Universal studios was absolutely brilliant, we really go our moneys worth and spent the whole day there going on all the rides, most of which scared the beejaysus out of Barry..

Jaws

Before we describe our road trip, it is worth giving a special mention to Las Vegas, Nevada, where we spent 3 nights. Viva Las Vegas! We arrived just as OJ Simpson had been arrested for his hotel room debacle, which was a good metaphor for this town, where anything, and we mean anything goes. In Vegas, it is possible to indulge all ones vices at any time of night or day, and then pick up a prozzie when you do decide to go to bed. Infact, its not even necessary to scour the streets for such wonderful ladies, you can just call a number and they will rock up to your hotel room in no time.

Indoor shop

It is perfectly acceptable to drink a margarita whilst walking to Burger King for breakfast, as it is acceptable to sit at a slot machine for 12 hours at a time, while you are plied with free drink with no concept of the time, as there are no clocks, and no idea how to leave the casino, as the exits are very obscure. It is fascinating, and we would be lying if we said we weren't shocked by the appalling array of mullets on display, or the incredible girth of more than 60% of the guests. The style of Oceans 11 etc is restricted to a few hotels, which are beautiful, but man, overall, its soo tacky! And incase you were wondering, we didn't win any money, because we couldn't figure out how to work the slot machines- I just liked to press the buttons when they lit up which is obviously not a good strategy.

THe USA car

We picked up the car in Vegas and headed out on the road to get our kicks on route 66. And route 40, and route 44 and... Very little of the original route 66 from LA to Chicago remains as it has been replaced by more modern highways. Nevertheless, driving in America is a joy; the roads are great, the facilities excellent and our 5.7 litre Chrysler 300 made it all the easier. A road trip across America conveys the sense of freedom that defined 1960s America, and our soundtrack reflected this, from Lynard Skynard to the Doors and later The Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. It doesn't get much better than driving on the open road in beautiful weather surrounded by fantastic scenery to Fleetwood Macs 'Go your own way'.
We drove to Flagstaff,. Arizona where we spent a few nights in this lovely college town. Our hotel was the Monte Vista which was featured in Casablanca. In keeping with the Casablanca theme (?), we stayed in the Robert Englund suite (Freddy Krueger in Nightmare on Elm Street). The walls were adorned with pictures of this pleasant character, all signed by the actor wishing guests 'Suite Dreams, HA HA HA!. It may have been the pictures, or the cross country freight train that came screaming through the town about every 20 minutes, but we had 2 awful nights sleep in Flagstaff. Nice place though. We headed to the Grand Canyon from here too, which was great, and certainly very grand. We continued east, and standin; on the corner in Winslow Arizona, such a fine sight to see. From Arizona, hot dog, jumping frog, Albuquerque! Not much to say about Albuquerque, but it is worth mentioning the Indian reservations that are scattered around this part of the country, where the natives were relocated only to subsequently be neglected and ignored leading to similar social problems as Australia such as poor education, alcoholism and just general hard times. Shocking stuff. Next stop was Texas and we were dreaming dreams of Amarillo, and we weren't disappointed. We had great fun here, staying in a hotel called 'The Big Texan' (everything is bigger in Texas), which had the Texan flag as a shower curtain and a glass of beer was literally a bucket. The big Texan is famous for it 72oz (4lb) steak, which if eaten in one hour, on a podium with a timer is free. The guy who tried, failed unfortunately. He was a lithe chap. And cowboys exist! This is Wrangler country- we thought that was an advertising myth! Tobacco chewin' steak eatin' beer swillin' Texans in Cowboy hats, check shirts and wranglers, wranglers, wranglers. Brilliant!

Bloke eating 72 ounce steak

It is these characters that made the trip so interesting, and the truck stops along the route usually rendered us speechless on the way back to the car. Getting petrol and buying some sweets for the journey has never been so interesting. En route we encountered a (young) man taking his false teeth out and dunkin' them in his dunkin' donuts coke; a gentleman in distinctly low rise jeans with the barefaced cheek to reach down into the ice cream freezer to git him sum Ben n jerry's (he was also carrying a bag of petrol) and generally lots more mullets, missing front teeth and generous waistbands. Trying to get a newspaper west of St Louis, Missouri was nigh on impossible, the only reading material sold here are scratch cards. But it was all fabulous and this is real Americana, the heartland of a very strange country. Land of the free, home of the brave. Where Sally Field's emmy acceptance speech is censored by Fox because she uses the word 'goddamn'. Where Christian groups take out full page ads in national newspapers declaring 'enough is enough!' after comedian Kathy Griffin's emmy acceptance speech where she says 'suck it Jesus, this award is my God now!' There is an a la carte conservatism here, and the benchmark of what is acceptable is vastly different from region to region.

In Amarillo, we thought we were 24 hours from Tulsa, but in actual fact it was only 6. Oklahoma! contains the longest stretch of route 66, about 100 miles from Oklahoma city to Tulsa, which was a lovely drive through towns which are trading heartily on their route 66 association. We stayed in a casino resort, owned and operated by the native Americans of the region who have benefited from some government system that allows them to run casinos without paying much tax. The state law permits only beer to be sold on Sundays, and speaking of state laws: Arizona state law prohibits the return of thermal underwear; post purchase, and New York state law prohibits the trying on of shoes without socks. ...

From Tulsa, we headed into Springfield, Missouri and then on to St Louis for 2 days, which was very nice.

Arch3

The gateway to the west is symbolised by a giant gateway arch at the entrance to the city. An arch is an arch, just like a rock is a rock, but it really is impressively big and shiny. We also went to the Budweiser brewery here, which is completely free (including 2 drinks) and is a pretty slick affair, even if it did remind us of being back in work, not just because of the 2 afternoon drinks....(only joking employer types.) Our final stop before dropping the car back in Chicago was Normal, Illinois, which was well, normal! It probably matched our ideal of the traditional American family most accurately, and it was a lovely town of white picket fences and lots of parks and playgrounds., and massive houses with huge gardens on sale for about $250,000. Normal was decorated with hundreds of posters supporting the US troops fighting the war on terror. Each one dedicated to a different battalion, and sponsored by Budweiser bien sur, they read: 'WERE PROUD OF YOU '. Slightly Freudian perhaps?
It was with regret that we handed the Chrysler beast back in Chicago, but we had a fab weekend where we met up with Mark and Puja who live in Washington DC.

MarkPuja

How nice it was to see friendly faces! Chicago is a lovely city, and dare I say it...better for shopping than NYC??!! It takes a lot for me to say that, because New York is truly the greatest city in the world, we are here now and it is just magnificent. We had planned to meet our native New Yorker friend Mary McCarthy whilst here, but a day early while out on the town we happened to bump into her in an irish bar on 26th street, lovely suprise.
We have been lucky to stay in the Upper West side and the Lower East side, both out of the main tourist drag so we really feel like we are livin' the dream, and spending it too...!

Eva time square

So, this is the end. Thanks so much to all of you for your comments on the blog over the last 5 months, we really loved hearing from you. It is impossible to articulate how fabulous this whole trip has been, but hopefully we have conveyed some of the joy that we experienced. If any of you are considering doing something similar in the future, then just do it. Just get out and do it.

With lots of love,
M.C Donnell and B-Dawwg.

PS: a tacky NY souvenir for the person who is able to name all the songs mentioned in this entry!

Barry's Cliff Notes:

Well YaLLL, It's coming to an end. So I will be brief.. Promise!

Miami for people watching it is great, but wayyyy to hot.
LA... Great town will definitely return to see more of it, did not have enough time to see everything.
Las Vegas.. NOT SO MUCH!!!
All the towns along Route 66 which is REAL America was great to see and a road trip in America is highly recommended.
Chicago/NY are just the best towns.

So, back to reality and finding a job/college etc.. Can't Wait!!!!!!! P.S. If anyone out there know of anyone looking to an experienced Product Manager!! Let them know I am Available!!

To Conclude

Asia... Ancient Culture. Great learning.
Australia...Great standard of living.
New Zealand...Breathtaking Scenery.
South America....Priceless
For Everything else there's the USA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Imagine

Regards

Barry