Trip Start Jun 25, 2012
14Trip End Sep 12, 2012
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I don't know who else to talk to so I am writing you. As your son, I am only beginning to understand how difficult and important your job was and still should be. I wish I had paid more attention and taken you more seriously while living at home. However, I could not wait to leave home and prove you wrong and show you how things 'really work’.
I started out pretty well with just myself at 16 filled with so much pride and testosterone that even when I was wrong I could still be right. I bounced around but yet very focused on chasing my dreams and so kept heading toward them and dealt head on, with whatever tried to stop me
As luck would have it (as some would say) I met the most beautiful and loving girl and one thing lead to another and here I am pushing 44, married and with four children from the same mother. From 16 and learning to drive to 43 and bald ......it has been an exciting journey with many ups and downs and bumps along the way that has left me with some bruises and questions.
Dad, the questions I have are:
1. Why does a men/boys have to drink milk from the jug/carton?
2. Why with over 100 TV channels there are none no not one show that puts a father in a positive role?
3. Why are we fighting so much with our spouses and getting divorced?
4. How does a father lead his family without being controlling?
6. Why are we working harder, longer and make more money yet are feeling empty?
7. With the passage of time, we get older and older but how do we deal with and prepare for death?
8. With so much going on and then when something terrible happens how are we to deal with things that hurt so deep?
These are just some of the questions that I struggle with and sure would (now) like some answers.
Perhaps you covered these before or would have (had I stuck around long enough). Now I cannot really get any answers directly from you because you are gone. Perhaps you taking your life 14 years ago was because you struggled with some of these questions too. I meet far too often people who have allowed wine, beer, worry, shopping, working, controlling, complaining, pills, cocaine, etc.......
It is crunch time for me and before long; our children will be dealing with some of these questions. And who knows, they may be or already are looking to me to answer some of these questions.
What do I tell them? I guess if I had to come up with something (I know I will so here I go); I would say the answers to these questions are based on the concepts of RESPECT and PASSION. Respect the fact that I do not and cannot know everything yet seek out the Truth and always hold firm. Then I would say have passion based on respect to not give up, not give in and keep what is most important always first in your life.
Knowing that things will not always be easy but be reminded that life was never intended to be easy - but FULLFILLING. The only respect we need is self-respect. If we do not respect ourselves, why would anyone else? To achieve that fullness we have to struggle, and in order to survive and thrive we need a helpmate (a wife). And that if and only if we work together with the same PURPOSE than maybe just maybe we will be all right.
Dad, you are not here and as the years roll on I miss you more and more instead of less. If there was one thing that I could claim you gave me, it was that of a critical mind. You gave me a mind that questions things before accepting and always looking to improve.
Thank you dad, I love you ........................and Happy Father’s Day.