Dien Bien Poo and the journey from hell
Trip Start
Jun 14, 2008
1
74
93
Trip End
Jun 20, 2009
Dien Bien Phu,
Vietnam
Monday, March 16, 2009
This three day mis-adventure has been immediately voted in at number one as the worst getting from A to B since Scott's now seemingly easy jaunt to the Pole or Moses' desert footslog, forthwith to be known as the Hebrew Hike. For none shall compare with Bunting and Magoo's Cruel Crossing into Laos.
It all started in Sapa at Vietnam's most northerly point on the China border. We pack like sardines in a tin can in our weener van for the 9 hour journey to Dien Bein Phu, near the border with Laos. We had been warned that these roads would be treacherous at best but nothing could have foretold of the puke fest which would begin in haste as soon as we left Sapa. Sardines in a can never had to deal which such foul smells or sounds
packed out minvan
. Our Vietnamese travel companeros had obviously never traveled further a field than their own lovely town and as soon as we got a few miles down the rocky and bumpy road all hell broke loose. Multiple plastic bags were filled with stomach contents and hideously flung out open windows. Our greatest fear was that these airborne puke-bombs would re-enter the van through another open window and explode on us poor foreigners. We survived though. Nine hours later we reached the unremarkable town of Dien Bein Phu, the town were the French were finally defeated in the 50's. We needed a comfy bed but had to make do with a skanky room which we gladly took in comparison to what else was on offer. After a restless sleep it was up and at em for day two. A 5.30 start saw us once again packed into a tiny van stocked wall to wall with all sorts of goods for transport accross the border. On map this appeared to be a relatively short journey, maybe 3oo klicks to a place where we could pick up a boat to our destination of Luang Prabang. As usual though this was optimism gone mad. Two hours to the border followed by a two hour wait. While Lyds and myself joined a group of backpackers in a game of Yatzee two unfortunate girls were informed that their visas were incorrect and they would not be allowed to cross. They would have to return the 18 hours to Hanoi to have the problem resolved. Ouch!.
over a stream
After much crying and bribing attempts one girl, a Japanese, was allowed through while the other, an American coincidently ?, was refused and amidst much tears was sent packing. Nasty. We piled back on the bus feeling a mixture of sympathy for said Yank and relief that we were on our way. The next stage took about six hours to get a hundred K. We travelled through sheer dust tracks and over river crossings high in the mountains. Everyone gets completely covered in a thick layer of dust resembling a cross betweena contestent at the Paris Dakar challenge and a zomby from a dodgy flick.We reach the river village and resign ourselfs that we wont be able to make it to Luang Prabang tonight but will be able to get a long boat down river closer to our destination. We agree and pile into a rickety skinny wooden vessel for what proves to be a highlight of the trip so far. A leisurely float through beautiful scenery equipped with a couple of beers and some good company. Unfortunately the sun sets before we reach the destination so we stop off in a little riverside town of Muong Ngoi.
This is'nt to bad, we go for dinner with a couple of Utrecht natives and get up early for day 3 of the journey. Our boat waits for us at the river side and myself and Lyds climb in as the only two Felang ( westerners) along with two other Lao passengers. We head downstream, again through beautiful scenery. Then all of a sudden as we launch through some rapids it seems that the rudder snaps and the passenger at the back starts to shout. Oh oh we think. The radids end and Murph turns around and smiles at me, phew she says. Immediately we enter more rapids, stronger than the last. Now we can see that the driver has no control over the boat and we head straight for the rocky shore and at speed. Myself and Murph antisipate the crash and even have time for a half smile as I say " this is'nt good"
border waiting
. Then crunchhh. First the boat rises as it hits the rocks then suddenly lurches over to one side. As it's about to capsize, with all our earthly belongings within, we both jump instinctively onto the ledge of the boat to bring it back level. We notice that the local have already abandoned ship with the two men holding each end upright. I noticed that the driver's hand were bleeding badly so I gave Murph the bag containg valuables and grabbed the first aid kit from my ruck-sack. I could see that both the driver and the guy at the back were in water only up to their knees so I hopped over the edge to go to hepl the driver. It seems though that the two guys were standing on rocks because as soon as I hit the water I dropped into my neck. Jaysus my wallet ! I flung it to Murph who saint like had held off laughing at me at that point anyway. I clambered up to were the driver was and we strapped his hands up. The two lads then set about engeniosly fixing the boat using strips of cloth, a machete and a screw-driver. Maguiver would have been proud. After an hour or so they reckoned the boat was up to the last hour of our journey and we made slow but steady progress down river to Nong Kiah only stopping briefly to pick up pieces of the boat and oars which had floated off in the crash.
Wowzer! Having finally reached Nong Kiah we were on the home stretch and only one more trip to make
yatzee at the border
. This was a 3 hour tuc-tuc ride to Luang Prabang which was uneventful except for meeting a cool couple of Aussies, Jason and Kayla, who had been in Nepal and India. We reached town and decided to splash ouy on a bit of luxury after our mad few days. Our next mission would be to locate a venue to watch the Ireland Scotland game.Eat your heart out Scott, Marco Polo, Magellen, Neill Armstrong and all the rest. History has spoken.
Travellers Tips
Our bus from Sapa to Dien Bien Phu cost us 200,000 VND which seemed pretty standard. Took 8 / 9 hours. When you arrive at the bus station in DBP walk out turn left, then take your first left. The first guesthouse you come to you on your left is where we stayed. Convenitently close to the station for the 5.30am start the next day, the room cost 100,000 VND and was pretty clean. It's secure and the owner is nice.
Ticket from DBP to Muang Khoa cost 79,000 VND. Leaves at 5.30am. Trip takes around 9 hours. Yes to go 100km. You can either get a bus to Udomaxi then or take a slow boat to Muang Ngoi Neua / Nong Khai. We took the boat option as it promised to be a shorter journey to Luang Prabang the next day. The boat trip cost us 120,000 kip each as far as Nong Khai and took around 4.5 hours in total.
The Laos border guards will ask for 1 usd to stamp your passport, that is in addition to your overtime fee. It's hard to change Dong at the border, you will get ripped, so do it in Sapa before you leave and try and get some kip as well.
The whole journey took us around 80 USD and three days of hell. The flights from Vietnam to Laos are around 140 USD. May seem expensive but it's really worth it. If I could do it over again I would definitley fly.
