Brief

  Kolkata, India
Wednesday, October 15, 2008

From memory Kolkata was pretty damn hot last time we were here just over two years ago.  We landed early morning and, yep, it was pretty damn hot.  We shared a cab with a pommie guy and grabbed a hotel room near Sudder St, which was pretty damn hot.  Fan on full, we had a few hours power nap before heading out into the heat.  It was still bloody god damn hot.
 
Our fave food spot was still there so we faved out with some fave channa masala and aloo palak.  Fantastic stuff!

001 Kolkata - David eyeing up lunch

We had to try and stay awake until India bed time.  Hard call as it was already wwaaaaayyy past our London bed time and the heat was hot and humid, draining the life from me.  We thought a re-visit to the Victoria Memorial was in order.  On the way there crossing the road, we came across a new enforcement.  Young traffic crossing wardens with ropes holding people back from crossing the road with ropes.

005 Kolkata - traffic boys

Hilarious!  Voice-overs crackeled at the street edge - dooooon't crooossss the roooooddddd, blah blah blah, couldn't understand the rest.  Then when the lights went the boys would release the ropes for everyone to spill forward.

The Vic Memorial is a huge white marble ediface.  I couldn't remember the insides so it was good to see again and also good to see that the price is still the same for all, 150 rupees for us Internationals.  We wandered around the gardens too which we hadn't done last time.  We were approached by a group of men who asked me if they could have a photo.  I knew they meant me of course but I pushed David forward and they looked a little lost.  Oh, yeah, with him.  Yeah.  I was laughing on the inside.  But I let them have their christmases and had my photo taken with them.  One of the cheeky little buggers even tried to hold my hand, but offered me the shitter so I refused (right for shaking, left for shitting).

015 Kolkata - Indias answer to coke

Back on the streets I was dying.  Time for a Thums Up quick sugar-hit-pick-me-up and a bit of a sit down under the trees on the edge of the huge grassy Maidan park.

We wandered over to St Paul's.  There are some interesting memorial plaques inside for people that say things like, so and so died during the blah blah '.......loved by natives and europeans alike.' or those that died during the various battles in the 1840's when the Brits were trying to conquor India, or for people that had died of dystentry or drownings.  Quite a few long explanations.  Outside it was still furiously hot.  We crashed hot and early to blaring horns and the wish of a breeze.  My god it's hot.
 
Next hot day we wanted to get out to Kalighat to see if we could fit in a goat slaughter or two.  We got the tube there.  They have Ladies Only seats, so I squished in, fitting really well!  Just like a local (ha ha!).  Fantastic.  Up yours all those snobby suits that read the 'Times' in London taking up more than their leg-spread's worth of space and not showing an ounce of chivalry!! 

Kaligat was just as crowded as last time, but some old guy claiming to be a Bhraman and flashing some sort of offical looking ID tried telling us the blood bath was all over for the day.  I attempted to distract him by asking him about some trival changes to the slaughter area, but that didn't deter him so I just walked away and left him ear boxing David.  Shiva must have been looking out for us because along came a goat!!!  Just a small one, but beggars can't be choosers.  Ha, ha, ha! Bhraman ID flashing old guy!!!!  Bunches of Hindu pilgrims kept filing through sticking their heads in the stocks, praying and wiping ashes and old blood onto their foreheads and those of their children.  Hibiscus flowers are also very popular.  Some of the pilgrims tooks some wilted, blood streaked sneakies after checking that no one was looking (except me of course!).  The pilgrims were finally flushed out and the baby goat brought in bleeting away.  They washed him and gave him a lovely necklace of red hibiscus to match the blood that was about to be split.  Minutes later the poor little screaming blighter had his front legs wrenched up behind his neck, his head laid in the stocks and within a blink of his eye, his head was off and his twitching body slung in the corner.  The body was still trying to run away when the butcher dragged him by his front legs over to the chopping block.  The crows were gathered waiting for the feast of leftovers.  These are skilled guys and it wasn't five mintues before his skin was off, bits and pieces laid out for all to see.  One crow got lucky with a nad!
 
After the excitment of blood and guts we went over to Dalhousie Square which we hadn't seen last time.  Funnily enough, it's a huge square! But with lots of lovely old buildings from the times of the British Raj.  I was happily shooting away when from the corner of my eye I saw someone waving at me.  I waved back, as you do, but as I got closer for a better shot, it was actually the police telling me not to 'snap'.  'No snapping.' they said.  So I asked why and discovered that it was the Ministers' Building and that photography was not permitted. 

022 Kolkata - Ministry

That would explain all those guys with uniforms and big guns then I thought.  But, in my defence, I told him that there weren't any signs saying that it was the Ministers' Building and that there weren't any signs prohibiting 'snapping'.  'I'm a tourist,' I explained.  He gave me a look and I thought it best I move along before I discovered what one of those police vans looked like from the inside.  Probably really hot.  We stopped off at a huge white building that turned out to be the post office and after visiting around 6 different counters just to purchase four stamps, we were asked to be interviewed by two different tv stations about the historic philaic exhibition that we must have come specifically to see.  Yes, of course we knew it was here and no, we weren't here just to buy stamps (what?).  David was 'thrilled' and 'amazed' to see the penny black and the blue anna stamps!!!  Well anyway, you learn something new everyday and we learnt a little about the history of Indian stamps.  FYI, the oldest stamp there (supposedly the oldest in the world we were told) was from 1840. I was asked by some random guy if he could 'snap' me looking at the interesting stamps.  Hmmmmmmmmm.
 
David wanted to visit a cricket ground so we took a huge walk out to Eden Gardens.  Apparently this is where Sourav Ganguly flipped our boys the bird back in 2001.  We lost but it's still not very sportsman like.  Especially from the Captain of the winning side.  The ground is huge but a total shithole.  Needs some desparate renovations.  We slipped in an open gate and rested in the shade to watch a game for a bit then wandered back across the huge parks.  

056 Kolkata - 'Bangladesh' Soccer Club

We walked past various clubs including the East Bengal club established in 1920.  It may have been established back then but they need to move with the times and update the name.  As we're all aware, East Bengal is now known as Bangladesh!!
 
Tomorrow we're off for a quick taster of the cooler lands of Bhutan in the Himalayas.  But don't worry Kolkata, we'll be back in a week to say goodbye.