Barnyard Stories
Trip Start
Mar 21, 2005
1
42
354
Trip End
Ongoing
Gyeltang,
China
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Starring
Lobsang, Mingma, Two Spur Larry, and Mr. Comb--the four roosters
Co-starring
Horns--the yak oracle
'Allion--the Stallion
Also appearing
Mocha--the calf
Dakpa, Slop Girl, Lhamu, and Ace--the four piglets
Teresa: the chicken, love of Lobsang's life.
In the outskirts of Gyeltang lies Shangri-la Valley farm with open fields, pastures, meadows, corn fields, and a Tibetan home
01 Mr. Comb, Lobsang, Mingma, and Two Spur Larry
. This year has been a bad year, with bears destroying much of the corn crop and the crops before that mostly lost because of torrential rains and disease. In dire need of food, the family begins to kill off the chickens and roosters, one by one, as a temporary measure before the wheat is harvested. Only four roosters and one chicken are left. The four roosters are hanging out around the Tibetan home while the family is in the mountains picking mushrooms. Mr. Comb is on the first floor pacing. Two Spur Larry sits on a log in the back, his two bowlegged and inflamed feet under his featherless belly, which fell victim to a rare chicken skin disease. Mingma and Lobsang are walking down the stairs to begin a meeting.MINGMA: (walking down the stairs) I CANT'T BELIEVE THEY KILLED NIMA. WE WERE GOING TO MAKE EGGS TOGETHER!
LOBSANG: (walking behind Mingma, in consolation) MINGMA, I KNOW YOUR LOVE FOR HER WAS STRONG, BUT WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OUR OWN NECKS NOW.
MINGMA: THEY ALL SEEM TO DISAPPEAR WHENEVER I FALL FOR THEM. CHICKEN AND MUSHROOMS, CHICKEN SOUP, WHAT'S NEXT? CORNED CHICKEN. WHY CAN'T THIS FAMILY BECOME VEGETARIANS?
LOBSANG: (nearing the bottom steps) I JUST CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF TERESA. WE PECKED AT SOME GNATS TOGETHER THE OTHER DAY! OUR BEAKS ALMOST TOUCHED!
MR. COMB: (looking back at Lobsang) CONTROL YOURSELF LOBSANG. WE'VE GOT THINGS TO DO...TWO SPUR
02 Mocha
!TWO SPUR LARRY: YES MR. COMB?
MR. COMB: WHAT HAVE YOU FOUND OUT?
TWO SPUR LARRY: BEFORE EVERYTHING WAS JAKE. NOW, NIMA'S JUST THE LAST IN A RASH OF KILLINGS. EVER SINCE THE CORN TURNED BAD, CHICKENS HAVE BEEN BUCKWHEAT LEFT N RIGHT. THE FOUR OF US IS ALL THAT'S LEFT OF THE ROOSTERS. WE'VE BEEN KEEPIN OUR NOSES CLEAN BUT THE WORD IS WE HAVE TO VISIT 'HORNS.'
LOBSANG: BUT NOBODY'S VISITED HORNS IN OVER TWO YEARS...AND THEY NEVER CAME BACK.
MR. COMB: SHUT UP LOBSANG.
Mr. Comb, Lobsang, Two Spur Larry, and Mingma walk around the corner to see Mocha, the calf. Two Spur Larry walks behind, bowlegged, with his slight gimp leg.
MR. COMB: HEY MOCHA, HOW DO WE FIND HORNS?
MOCHA: HE'S OUT IN THE NORTH PASTURE. ON THE WAY, WATCH OUT FOR THE BEARS IN THE CORN FIELDS, THEY'RE HUNGRIER THAN EVER THIS FALL AND HAVE EATEN MUCH OF THE CROP.
MR. COMB: CAN YOU TAKE US THERE?
MOCHA: I'M HAPPY HERE, I HAVE ALL THE HAY I NEED
03 Horns, the Oracle
. SORRY.TWO SPUR LARRY: THEY'RE JUST FATTENING YOU UP. YOU'RE BUCKWHEAT.
MR. COMB: BE KIND, TWO SPUR. LET'S GO...
The chickens head through the cornfields to the North Pasture. On the way, they run into a bear eating corn.
BEAR: CHICKENS!
TWO SPUR: (proudly correcting him) WE'RE ROOSTERS.
MR. COMB: NO TIME FOR TECHNICALITIES, RUN!
A chase ensues with dramatic dodges between rows of corn as the bear lumbers after them. Luckily the bear is too full of corn, so the four roosters escape. Hours later, they reach the North Pasture. In the middle of the pasture is a massive yak with long, sharp horns. The chickens bow down in front of him.
MINGMA: ORACLE, WE ARE SEEKING TO LEAVE THIS FARM AS...
MR. COMB: SHUT UP MINGMA. HORNS, WE RESPECTFULLY REQUEST YOUR ADVICE...
HORNS: I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU
04 'Allion, the Stallion
. HAVE SOME GNATS, THEY'RE PARTICULARLY TASTY IN THE NORTH PASTURE. I'VE CONSULTED THE FIELD BUTTERCUPS... IT FURTHERS ONE TO HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO. THE SWIFT MUST LEAD. SUCCESS. BUT ONE MUST GO THROUGH THE WATER. IT GOES OVER ONE'S HEAD. BEYOND LIES MIST AND MISFORTUNE.LOBSANG: WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN? I JUST WANT TO FIND A NICE CHICKEN! WE WALKED ALL THIS WAY TO LISTEN TO THIS NONSENSE?
MR. COMB: SHUT UP LOBSANG. HE MEANS WE NEED TO FIND 'ALLION THE STALLION AND HEAD ACROSS THE RIVER TO THE MISTY MOUNTAINS. IF WE LEAVE IT'S STILL NOT SAFE THERE, SO WE MUST BE CAREFUL.
MINGMA: I DON'T CARE AS LONG AS WE'RE NOT COOPED UP.
The four roosters head to find 'Allion the Stallion. In the late afternoon sun, he's eating some grass with a smile on his face.
'ALLION: MR. COMB, LONG TIME NO SEE! HOW'D YOUR EGGS TURN OUT?
MR
05 Dakpa, Slop Girl, Lhamu, and Ace
. COMB: DON'T ASK, THE PEOPLE ATE THEM.'ALLION: SORRY TO HEAR THAT. WAS 'LOOKING FORWARD TO SOME FRIENDLY YELLOW CHICKS HANGING AROUND THESE PASTURES. LATELY IT'S BEEN KINDA QUIET AROUND HERE. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU MY GOOD FRIEND.
MR. COMB: WE NEED TO HEAD FOR THE MISTY MOUNTAINS...
MINGMA: ...OTHERWISE WE'RE BUCKWHEAT, RIGHT TWO SPUR?
MR. COMB: I'M TALKING HERE. (to 'Allion) SO WHADDAYA SAY?
'ALLION: WELL TO GET THERE WE HAVE TO GO BACK PAST THE HOMESTEAD AND THE PEOPLE SHOULD BE BACK FROM PICKING MUSHROOMS. WE HAVE TO CREATE A DIVERSION.
They all think for a while...
TWO SPUR LARRY: WE'LL USE THE FOUR PIGLETS AS A SHELL. WE'LL LET THEM LOOSE, THEN, SO WE'RE NOT STUNG BY BEES ON THE ASS, WE WAIT UNTIL THE PEEPS ARE CHASIN' EM.
'ALLION: DIG IT. LET'S GO.
Two Spur Larry, 'Allion the Stallion, Mingma, Mr. Comb, and Lobsang head back to the homestead. The sun is getting lower. They reach the pig sty where Dakpa, Slop Girl, Ace, and Lhamu are eating a pail of garbage. 'Allion nuzzles the gate open, but the pigs don't escape as the horse and roosters had hoped. The four pigs are intent only on eating and are blind to the open gate.
SLOP GIRL: CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE EATING HERE!
DAKPA: YEAH!
ACE: YEAH!
LHAMU: YEAH!
From the homestead, sounds of people are heard...coming this way.
'ALLION: QUICK, GET ON MY BACK, OUR PLAN IS FOILED.
The roosters all fly up on 'Allion's back and he takes off like the wind, having won this year's horse festival.
LOBSANG: WAIT, WE CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT TERESA. (yelling back) TERESA!
ALLION: I'M GOING TO GET HER FOR YOU LOBSANG. HOLD ON TIGHT!
'Allion turns the corner, two people lie in his path. He skirts to the right, runs past the people. Teresa scampers between two girls and flies onto 'Allion's back, joining the four roosters next to Lobsang.
LOBSANG: TERESA!
TERESA: LOBSANG!
The roosters and Teresa crouch down as the people run after them, with some heading for their horses...
Next Episode: 'Allion, Mr. Comb, Mingma, Two Spur Larry, Teresa, and Lobsang reach the river, the boundary of Shangri-la Valley Farm and the foothills of the Misty Mountains. Will they be able to cross it to reach the Misty Mountains, or will the people recapture them and turn the roosters into chicken soup (we're not chickens, we're roosters!).
Comments
i think you are losing it
very cute and funny you...
?
it's just the drugs talkin'