The Wedding

Trip Start Oct 31, 2008
Trip End May 27, 2009

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Thursday, November 6, 2008

I am actually writing this blog from Lop Buri in Thailand sitting in an Internet cafe next to a young lad that has been playing the same computer game for 3 hours which involves little dancing characters prancing around to utterly heinous europop which is blasting out of the PC speakers so i am a little deranged but will try to concentrate.

I have know Heidi for about 8 years and we met at the University of Kent at Canterbury at a reggae night. Since then i have become very close with her and her Norwegian family and friends. Heidi and Andreas (the groom) make a perfect couple and i am very happy that they have tied the knot and was honored to be invited out to their wedding in Singapore at the astonishing Raffles hotel which oozes old world colonial class. They had guests from around the globe, all of whom were united in joy, sweat and tears at the ensuing ceremony.

On the morning of the wedding day i had to whiz down to Chinatown to buy some shoes and trousers for the wedding. I managed to find a lovely pair of plastic shoes and black polyester trousers for S$15, perfect for an outdoor equatorial afternoon wedding.

On returning  to Rasa Sentosa i noticed a concourse platinum Daimler (what a car!) with Heidi and her Maid of Honor Maria sitting inside, both looking radiant. They headed off with Andreas, Arnie (father of the groom) and Guyer (best man) to the Norwegian Embassy to officially get married. I went and adorned my plastic shoes and polyester trousers and headed to Raffles Hotel in a blacked out Chrysler with Kristian (Heidi's brother) and Cecilia (bridesmaid).

On arrival at Raffles we were greeted by a large Sikh guard dressed in the full garb which looked like it had been in fashion at Raffles for about 150 years. I couldn't believe I was actually there, I definately got that 007 feeling and felt the need to say "pussshy" in a thick scotish accent.

We took our positions on the lawn and prepped ourselves for the perfect white wedding. I offered to film the ceremony as it was all in Norwegian and i couldn't understand anything. I lurked in the background on the pagoda with the string quartet and choir sweating like an absolute beast and fighting the urge to blackout from heat exhaustion. The ceremony went perfectly and looked incredible (check out the pics).  Andreas and Heidi Islann were now officially married and i officially didn't pass out!

We hit the champagne and then adjourned to Casuarina suite A for an 8 course Chinese banquet, speeches and lots of fun and laughter. When i first arrived in SP Heidi asked if i would be the toast master at her wedding. I later discovered that this has nothing to do with my world renowned bread grilling skills. I kakked my pants a little bit, mainly due to the prestigious location and people staring at me but it went well and i was honored to be part of it. It just involved welcoming people and talking about the dinner and then making a closing speech. I managed to hold back a tourettes tirade which i sometimes get the urge to unleash when public speaking which was a bonus.

After a quick welcome speech the posh nosh smorgasbord began and every dish was a culinary marvel, the highlight for me was the Braised Broccoli with Wolfberry in Crab meat Sauce (just because "Wolfberry sounds cool). It was such a mad experience to see everyone dressed to the nines in a chandelier clad suite in probably the most famous hotel in the world. Naturally the Singapore Sling course was a hit with everyone and perked Aunt Windy and Uncle guy up.

There were many thoughtful and kind words said by loved ones although all in Norwegian but i got the gist from the free flowing tears from the girlies and the attempts of the chaps to hold them back. the highlight was Heidi's Mum Mona singing a song that she had written for the happy couple ending in the line "Ja vor faen" (excuse the crud spelling) which was a reminder to everyone that on receiving the question on New Years Eve last year Heidi replied "Ja vor faen" which roughly translates to "yes for Feks sake".

We headed back to Sentosa armed with cakes, Singapore sling glasses, bells and other post wedding fodder and I experienced the joy of peeling off the polyester and plastic in exchange for shorts and flips. We headed down to Cafe Del Mar for a great after party and hit the flaming shots and I span poi for the first time since traveling. A few of us went to St James' Powerhouse which is an old power station that has been converted into uber trendy bars and clubs.

The remaining hard core few of us retired to our hotel balcony and played a drinking game that I taught everyone called "21" that took us through sun rise and into breakfast. As i write this blog entry the game "21" is being exponentially rolled out through South East Asia and beyond. 

I sat with Michael from OZ at breakfast and started to tweek out in fits of laughter as he sat down with a plate of waffles, blueberry sauce, tomatoes, hash browns, rice and noodles and then tried to convince me that his eco consciousness was not to be laughed and by combining his three dishes on one plate he was saving water and therefore the planet. I wiped the tears of laughter from my face and blacked out into a drunken coma, fat on the day's visual, culinary and emotional delights.

Stay tuned for more in Singapore, Emma's arrival, hula hoops,  Little India and turtle heads.

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