Pai Day 206 (13th Dec)
Trip Start May 20, 2009
191Trip End Dec 22, 2009
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Andy then finally kept to his words and we had massages, northern Thai style! Its pretty different to the other Thai massages I have had, good but the ones in Ko Tao were the business. Next after Andy enjoyed his massage immeasurably (no happy ending for him) we then decided to commence our drunken night out, beginning with Siamsatu beers )cheapest you can get) from 7-11. Once a beverage each were seen off we popped into the Apple shop to see if we could upload some music, this encounter was made all the more interesting by the slightly overweight, balding, American guy in his fifties. He commented on how Andy" should get your Ipod restored, I mean personally I don't care it's up to you, but this things no good, for your own sake don't plug it in again". He then mentioned several other times how Shit Andy's Ipod was before uploading the films onto my walkman, musing wiht a boring anecdote which I can't be bothered to strainmy brain to recollect. After this interesting episode we drunkenly trotted around the nightmarket until we saw crazy sperm face girl (sorry Holly I mean), she tore into us for not going to the monkey bar and we praised her for removing the sperm from her cheek, we made an oath to find this mythical bar tonight. So we set off in search of a mental, brainsqueezing, eye-bulging, anal-tightening, face-contorting, liver bludgeoning, tongue frazzling, vomit-inducing, boner bulging night of epic proportions in this shoebox (a nicely decorated one) of a town
On the long and winding (and deserted) road to Monkey bar we were in need of some snacks; Hang (which Josh later told me was Viagra in a bottle!), Siamsatu and CHEESE AND ONION WALKERS!! That's right, awesome Britishness in a bag, the flavour of English countryside living in a fresh, moist bag of heavenliness, mmm.
We eventually made it to the bar where we met 2 canadian guys; Kenny and Colin, hippies who were equally drunk; Holly the crazy, cute, tiny girl was there being weird and funny with a hint of interestingness. After free booze the place shut and we followed Kenny to Don't Cry Bar. Here we sat down next to a group of American asians and I happened to be perched next to this whale of a man consuming 2 plates of noodles.
Mr Manity: A character profile guy
I chatted with mr Manity, asking where he was from, he replied "Laos", I complimented "Oh Laos is a great place, really beautiful", he then replied (inbetween mouthfulls of noodles, slurping and belching) "I'm from Seattle". I could tell this guy was a character, as he vacuumed up both plates of noodles with unrelenting momentum I commented "Is the food nice?", "No" he answered and continued to eat, now eating the plate, whilst slowly groping Andy's manhood under the table and covering up his erection he had grown with a handerchief from his sweating t-shirt pocket, I tried to overlook this and commented "You seem like a nice guy", he continued the pattern of disagreeing with every throw away comment I suggested, said "No I'm not", trying a different tact (and struggling not to vomit from the scenes underneath the table) I said "Oh Pai's really nice isn't it", "No it's not" he said, sensing this convo was enduring a slow crucifixion we said our goodbyes and went over to the area where the hippies were. We listened on as these equally drunk and probably high people sat around a campfire with a guitar talking hippie garb (what a cliche). We got back into bed at 4am, what a funny and random night!!