Magic Kingdom-Veni,Vidi,Vici or Huey Dewey & Louie

Trip Start Sep 12, 2009
Trip End Sep 19, 2009

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Flag of United States  , Florida
Friday, September 18, 2009

Woke up exhausted after difficult day yesterday, but felt a freedom I haven't felt in five, or even six days. Started the now all too familiar morning ritual of Imperial coffee (which tasted sweeter), in the Imperial mug (which seemed cleaner) and watching the Imperial zebras (which seemed... stripier…?).

It seemed our exploits over the this week have rubbed the Empire the wrong way because when I got back to our Imperial slave quarters there was an envelope of our door notifying us that we are released as of tomorrow…I believe they called it "check out"

"Check out" what?

We ignored the Empire's dire warning…after all…we are the victors; but we didn't know where to celebrate our monumental achievements.
Sea World?
Discovery Cove?

Suddenly we had a brilliant idea…how about the "happiest place on earth".

So we headed to the Magic Kingdom.

From some reason it seemed easier to pass through the Imperial uniformed guards and happy-go-lucky Imperial henchman…I bet they heard about our amazing feats...or maybe it was Jakey's flexing the "Guns of Geppetto...or could have been the minimal crowd"...I'm not sure.

After taking a few celebratory photos in front of the Imperial fortress we headed to AdventureLand to rejoice with our mates…and a bottle of rum.

On the way we stopped for a magic carpet ride at The Magic Carpets of Aladdin , where kind "Jaffar The Just" saw it fit to spray us with holly water being delivered by holly golden gilded camels.

Still rejoicing from being honored by his Justiceness – we moved onward noticing a commotion ahead. It was the street urchin Aladdin trying to steal some candy from a baby…or signing autographs…who knows at this point.

Being true and humble victors we turned our backs on sad Aladdin and headed over to our see our chums. As we crossed into Adventureland Darth Bellissima suddenly spits out "I haven't met Mr. Smee yet".

Mr. Smee?

Cheri and I just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders, only to be dumbfounded a few moments later when we turned the corner to see…Captain Hook – Master of the Seven Seas and…Mr. Smee – First mate and navigator extraordinaire.

Is the Force so strong with Darth Bellissima that she can see the future?

Praise Palpatine.

Of course Darth Hook and Darth Smee took immediately to the kids, no doubt they have heard high-seas tales of their legendary journeys and epic battles with the Empire's minions.

After bidding farewell to Masters of the Seas we headed over to the Jungle Cruise – a cheesy yet always fun adventure and the kids got a kick from seeing all the animals….

….wait a minute….

...we were seeing real animals all week long and they are excited about fake ones…could it be that the Empire has had the last laugh?

We barely escaped the Jungle Cruise with all our limbs in place (minus those lost at the Fairies Frankenstenian Transformation Process) after an evil robot elephant tried to spray us with acid...or water…we're not sure...lucky for us our Imperial guide was quick to react and saved the whole boat.

To give credit were credit is due, the Imperial guide has saved us numerous times during the short cruise…maybe he was an Imperial rebel in disguise…or maybe he was intimidated by Jakey's "Guns of Geppetto...or maybe he didn't know who we were….no, that can’t be it.
Maybe,... just maybe... he valued his eyebrows and simply ignored the celebrities on his boat yet; a more plausible option is Darth Bellissima’s new-found mind altering powers…yes…that’s the one I’m going to go with.

As one would have it, we found ourselves standing next to the friendliest place in the Kingdom – The Pirates of the Caribbean.

With a cheerful and rowdy "Arrrr" we readily entered the attraction – being treated as victors we simply marched to the head of the line…after parking the stroller…and took the next boat to be enter the town in a celebratory procession headed by the famous and kind Captain Jack…or was it Captain Morgan?

As, what we perceived to be a one-of-a-kind honor...or more if you ride again... we were greeted by the merciful pirate Davy Jones…even though we were a bit disappointed he didn’t jump into a heart wrenching rendition of "Last Train to Clarksville".

We made our way to “It’s a Small World"… an mysterious ride which has transfixed the family into a trans-like zone where we imagined a world without lawyers and full of rainbows…oooh…was it me or did everyone feel that cold shutter?

Before “It’s a Small World” I felt something was wrong, because the ride was empty and I went to get FastPasses for Peter Pan's Flight only to come back and find…a line.

A line!!!!

I have never been so humiliated in my life, the wife and kids were in tears somberly singing “after all - a small world - it is, after all - a small world - it is…Hmmmm? Hmmmm!"

Malevolent Master Yoda at work no doubt.

As the head of the family and a responsible parent I did the only thing I could think of…I blamed Darth Bellissima for not using her new-found powers...looking into the future and warning us of the impending abomination to come.

As we got off the ride, we were felt our knees buckle…a combination of complications from the nefarious Fairies Frankenstenian Transformation Process and the knee-crushing boat ride we just endured – which made us appreciate the generous “airline-leg-room” we will soon be forced to endure.

After another round of Peter Pan’s Flight, we ate some lunch at the Friars Nook and... had some ice-cream.  Darth Jacamo jumped at the opportunity to devour a Mouse Overlord -like ice-cream while Darth Bellissima was a bit more refined and ate a pink Popsicle, reminiscent of her battle the previous day with The Incredibles: Team of Super Powered Domestic Gods.

Even though Darth Jacamo devoured his Overlord ice-cream, he wasn’t quick enough to eat it before the Imperial sun melted it and Mouse Overlord likeness ended as a molten mass on the floor.

Thinking about the irony of the situation we sheepishly laughed as we clean up the mass…without pointing and singing as is the habit of a famous occultist imposing terror and discipline on kids in the form of a mysterious nanny...this time not because we are Imperial slaves but because that is the example we want to serve our kids…so when they grow up they can become benevolent Emperors and not count on their servants for their every whim…otherwise they’ll end up living a delusional life in a French castle as an internal beast tears them apart in their solitude….

...wait a second…could it be that the famous story is a metaphor and not French history?

At last we ventured out and to the Animal Kingdom Lodge for what will be known as the “Watering Hole Farewell Tour”.

After a restful and uneventful break we came back to the Magic Kingdom for a wonderful surprise.  A huge party was thrown in our honor, but in order to throw off Commander Lightyear and the Clone Army it was named “Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party”.

We were in the seventh heaven.

The party was spectacular, all the Imperial rebels came out from hiding:
Maleficent – Protector of villages from sleeping curses
The Queen – Hero to senior citizens and apple orchard farmers
Curella DeVill – Entrepreneur and President & CEO of "Coats for the Poor" charity
Jaffar – Homeland Security Domestic Adviser
Queen of Hearts – Skillful brain surgeon
Captain Hook – Commander and Navigator
Lady Tremaine & Stepsisters – Beauty & kindness unmatched….

Even the lovely Ursula – psychotherapist supreme who has helped thousands of “poor, unfortunate souls” – was rumored to be in area.

Celebratory candy was given to kids of all ages…and not the cheap candy your pedestrian neighbors give children who were so unlucky as to end on their door step…real quality stuff. 

Fog machines were everywhere giving the park a "special" aura about it.

Dance parties started almost spontaneously...unless they were planned... where…for a change…the Empire's demi-gods were finally made to come down from the top of the Imperial fortress and mingle with ...hold your nose…commoners and Imperial slaves.

Even all of the Imperial Miners took a break from whistling and working so they can join Enchantress Snow White – enemy of the elderly and enslaver of forest animals – for a once in a lifetime...or more if you go more often...appearance.

The Imperial fortress, for once...or more if you go more often...changed its colorful scheme…which has put many children under it’s alluring spell…for more subdued tones which undue the wicked hypnosis caused by their predecessor’s pallet.

After the spectacular fireworks, exploding to the tunes of the fore-mentioned heroes we were on our way to get a good night’s rest.

Before we hit the sheets we packed…as the kids were on the bed either sleeping or watching TV…it never even occurred t them to use their new Jedi mind trick powers to help us lift the suitcases.

For tomorrow will be our last day and unbeknown to us the Empire had one more trick up it’s sleeves….

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starlagurl on

That is QUITE the show. I bet your kids will remember that for a long time to come.... aw.


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