Almost Done Planning...About Time..I mean Come On
Trip Start Sep 12, 2009
14Trip End Sep 19, 2009
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The reservations were made by our trusty Fairy Travel Agent Deanna...who really exists...because she's a real person... , the airfare is paid for, our itinerary is almost complete…and we have three whole months to wait.
However, as a last slap to the Empire…aimed squarely at Scrooge McDuck…because he's a miser… and he's cheap…we paid for our vacation on our "Disney Card". The Empire has decided to finance our vacation for six months…that way we'll still be beholden to them…even though the Florida tan will be worn off in favor of the Jersey snow.
The Empire will also give us one (1) Disney Dollar for every $100 US dollars we spend.
Where can you spend those precious Disney dollars?
Why…at Empire's Expensive stores of course.
So what’s the point?
We’re going to spend money anyway…because that’s the way we are…so why not have the Empire finance some of our purchases…because we’re cheap that way.
Meanwhile we have a lot to think about…because we’re thinking people…not a bunch magical dishes living in a cupboard…in a magical castle…waiting for some chick to kiss a hideous beast against all odds.
We're going to spend a week in a place where 60,000 – 80,000 people per day is considered "low attendance"...because the Evil Empire loves visitors...to make them Imperial slaves...to purchase their products.
Will we be able to keep our kids by our sides?
Because we love our kids...and we want them with us...even though we could save some serious money on the air-fare back...but we're not that cheap (how dare you call us "cheap"?).
After all, Disney is virtually a cornucopia of childhood dreams, every ride, gate, character and even flower just calls your name...to make you an Imperial slave...to purchase their products.
We had some ideas…because we’re thinking people…not a bunch of French people living in a provincial town…singing happily about their bread baskets and slinging mud at pigs.
Shockingly colorful hats with matching, specialty printed t-shirts (both ruled out for price and ugliness – you got to have nice pictures), child leash (we hate those and from the message boards we understood they don’t work in Disney) and other bright ideas which didn’t pass the storyboard stage.
We do know we are doing at least six things:
1) Getting temporary tattoos from printed with our cell phone number on it (http://www.safetytat.com/)... because if the'll get lost we'll get a phone call...maybe we won't answer it...depends on the day...because we could save serious money on the air-fare back...but we're not that cheap (how dare you call us "cheap"?).
2) Taking a hard-core line about behavior in public places. They have to hold someone’s hand (or the cart) at all times...not like Belle who took her horse to the middle of the forest...in the darkness of night...in the middle of winter...only to be attacked by wolves...what kind of parents did she have anyway?
3) Our four (AND A HALF!!!) year old daughter will get quizzed several times each day (when out and about) about what mommy & daddy are wearing...not Belle's daddy... Maurice the inventor...who is a danger to society and quite mad we hear.
4) When arriving at Disney we intend to pull one of the Empire's henchman (or henchwoman...we must be politically correct...the Empire requires it) aside and tell our kids that if they ever get lost, look for someone with a badge and tell them they are lost.
5) Drill into the kids that they are not allowed to go anywhere with anyone, no matter if they promise them ice-cream or even have a cute talking teacup named "Chip"...even though we could save serious money on the air-fare back...but we're not that cheap (how dare you call us "cheap"?).
6) Tell the kids that if they do get lost, they can always approach another mommy with children...unless she's Mrs. Potts...because she locks her kids in a cupboard...and because she's a teapot.
Meanwhile we’re pumping the kids with propaganda from the Evil Empire (disguised as fairytale cartoons)...because the Empire says it's a must...otherwise they won't enjoy the trip...so they say.
Soon we will get the Disney maps we ordered (the Empire provides them for free) as well as luggage tag for the Magic Express so, heaven forbid, we won’t have to lag our suitcases to our luxury lodge and start our indentured servitude prematurely.