BIG time roadtrip

Trip Start Oct 01, 2006
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Jamaica  ,
Saturday, November 10, 2007

So i managed to grab a little rental for a couple weeks to venture out to parts of the island where it would be too much of a mission to go and stop at by using the route taxis and coasters, i thought i was gonna get a good deal on the car but after the goverment tax and insurance waiver were tagged on it came up to alittle bit more than what i wanted, but i thought 'F' it and signed the dotted line, the car they gave me was brand new not even broken in yet, i know on new engines they have to be worked in for the first 10,000 but i gave it a drilling and after all it's just a rental.

There are some pretty smooth, lonbg straight roads along the north coast where you can let it go but inland and further towards the east the roads are like someones opened up some mortars and dug some WWII trenches, the car got a good licking and i scratched canned the front valance numerous times weaving around, in and out of the potholes, some parts of the roads had turned itself into a ford with a roaring river running across or looking like a large pond after the rains we've had from the ass end of tropical storm Noel.. but the faithful likkle car got through everything i threw at it.. i was a little dissapointed with the feeble handbrake destroying any thought of full on rally style cornering..

So me and my beutiful JA girlfriend set off on a big tour, first was Falmouth where we stayed in the falmouth resort for $3500 j a night, the first time we were here i thought i'd treat her to some luxury AC but she couldn't take it and i was left hearing moans that she'll die of hypothermia if i don't shut it off, so the second night we opted for the $500 cheaper fan room. the town is stunning and i could easily have spent a few days just soaking up the old georgian buildings and street life.. coz of my girlfriends lack of swimming knowledge and phobia of getting onto boats i decided to give the luminous lagoon tour , where the water glows when disturbed, a miss... but we soon headed south cutting our way straight the middle of the island pasing cane fields, mountain passes and small country bumpkin villages with funny names (wait-a-bit) to get to the milk river spa to soothe our aching asses from sitting down all day in a car.. the spa has the most radioactive water in the world, so i have either got rid of any minute cancer growth that was hiding or now have an extra arm growing inside me after my 20 minutes bathe.

next it was to spanish town for me to check out their iron bridge and historic 'park'.. here i ventured out on my own as she was too lazy.. i found the spanish town residents very welcoming, cheerful and willing to come up and talk to the 'lost' whiteboy.. Jamiaca has this wonderful iron bridge in spanish town that has been just left to rot away, something needs to be done to save it.. the people that use it have to navigate holes in the floor of one part! We planned on staying the night in Sp. town but decided to meet some family and get a free meal down in nearby portmore.. We stayed at a nice little hotel on the edge of kingston harbour, and got a lovely ackee and saltfish breakfast plus a gorgous pot of tea each in the morning all for $2200 JA.. it had the tiniest ensuite i've ever seen and cable tv with no remote but was quite comfortable and i had safe knowledge my car had a security guard watching over it in the private car park.. i met a cool guy who was gardening a little plot near the ruinsd of portmores old courthouse, i had a long conversation with him and he really wanted me to take his picture, i did and a week later after developing them came back to let him have a couple of copies..

A little of kingston and a return to port royal where i managed to check out the 'giddy house' and fort charles before it was off St. Thomas in the south east, we took the drive easy here stopping at the local sites and towns and helping the roadside vendors by buying fruit and jelly water.. I had a great idea to go down to see the morant point lighthouse which from photos i've seen is pretty good looking with an untouched coastline around it.. i was warned by one girl in a golden grove shop that by little car wouldn't make it and that a 4x4 is advised.. i thought 'nah man, mi a good driver though' and push full steam ahead to find it.. i had to stop a and ask directions a few times as it is pretty of the map, and got a funny look from many locals who saw me attempting the route..

so anyway i was going well down through some sugar cane estate until a pretty muddy track turned into some deep mud pack with the only other tyre marks now left there were tractor ones,my face soon turned red when the car came to a stop with the wheels spinning and spraying mud left right and centre.. I got out to asess the damage and immedialty after my second step a 'bluuuoooop' sond was heard and i was now sandal-less on my very muddy left foot.. i was shitting myself thinking we'll have to spend a night out here until the workers return in the morning to pull us out as the car had sunk down far enough that the chassis was resting on the ground..

after rounding up a load of old sugar canes and digging then sticking them under the tires i did managed to get out, but i was caked in mud, everyside of the car including the roof was splattered with mud and even inside the car managed to get a good few mud balls through my open windows.. and i was even more embarressed coming back past the wise locals with my car obviously looking like i lost the fight with a mud monster..

We next headed for the bath springs, to bathe in the jacuuzi there and relax, just outside the gate were a shitload of hustlers trying to get you to park outside the regular carpark and send you to another part of the springs whilst overcharging for a crapper service (think the unofficial black river guide and way back at pitch lake in trinidad) ..the roads in that area are a joke and don't reallt count as roads, if i did have a 4x4 i wouyld be hesitant to navigate some of the holes i'd seen in my trusty little rental..

Next we headed for portland where i met many of my girls very large family.. my least favourite part was thinking how to get round eating the 2 chicken feet that were in my soup, i eat one toe and after finding the meta-tarsal bones swishing around my mouth couldn't stomach the rest of it..

mi soon finish writin' dis up, yuh 'ear!!

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