Dubai - First real day

It's off brunch at a hotel - can't remember the name. The brunch themed as Thai-tanic, is on the twenty something floor of the hotel. We get out of the lift to find a beaming Thai man dressed in full captain's whites ringing a ships bell. I very nearly wet myself with the shock of it. It's just so very strange, naff and opulent. The buffet is amazing, every form of food, and free beer and wine all for around 15 pounds per person, for a maximum of three hours. Much amused by the 'Lintel soup'. The drinking starts, and I wonder if we are ever going to get set free of the demon drink.

A group of drinkers

At 4:00pm we get back to Eimear's apartment, and the power drinking starts in earnest. Kim decides that she has suddenly switched allegiance from Gin and Tonic to Vodka and Tonic. Martin's friend Roy comes along and we get progressively drunk. Kim chats while I get on the Internet and sort out some admin. Get very frustrated trying to pay the Irish phone bill, which involves a tourettic outburst as they refuse to be in anyway helpful. A considerable burst of shouting over some call centre idiocy finally resolves the problem, unusually.

By the seaside

It's out for more drinks, to a pub, the Alamo. Roy gives me tips on how to spot a prostitute - they sit at the bar with straws in their drinks. Roy and I think it is absolutely hilarious when we put straws in the girls drinks. Roy tells me in entertaining detail about living in Zambia in the 1980's (you wouldn't want to). Then Eimear, convinced of Kim's staying power, takes a 500 Dirham bet (around £70) made by me that Kim will pass out before 1 am.

Kim then, even though the bet is secret, proceeds to get her preemptive revenge. She pulls me around the dance floor for about two hours, and I feel like a very over-loved puppy. Acutely embarrassed as we are the only people on the dance floor, in an expat pub in the middle of Dubai. I am convinced I will win the bet, which is some consolation. The humiliation of being the only people on the dance floor in front of the dodgy house indie band, doing bad eighties covers, is severe.

Dubai - a work in progress

We end the evening rather early, with Kim falling asleep at 12:41, with photo to prove it. The next morning Kim claims that alcohol was not related, and therefore I couldn't claim my winnings. Works out well though, I had a major dose of anxiety over Kim's drinking prowess, and spent most of the hours up to 1 am trying to buy my way out of the bet.

One for the devon parents

Two classy dancers