Munich Hotels
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Time to hand in the keys
Entry 40 of 74 | show all | print this entry |
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Our final night in Vinny Van was one of solemn reflection, spent in a carpark about 100m from the rental place. Our efforts to finish all our alcohol were valiant, but totally misguided - we had to jettison the real crappy stuff and carry only emergency booze with the rest of our gear. I was officially in a "near-death" state once again - barely able to talk and I believe actually raising sincere concerns from the rest of the usually unflappable lads. While I couldn't physically bring myself to eat or drink anything, in the back of my mind I couldn't help acknowledge the saving grace that the "Road Trip Of The Devil Of Death From Hell With Ice" was coming to a close.
Waking to the task of clean-up, we were under the impression that we could possibly save some money if we made Vinny Van spotless before returning it. The honour of dealing with our Viduka Signature Ball was mine - I ceremoniously dispatched it deep into some nearby thick scrub, hopefully to be discovered by an Audi cyborg kid in the not too distant future. They could never hope to extract as much pleasure from it as we did.
The hire company were only too happy to discover all our attempts at destroying Vinny, and to deduct from our deposit accordingly. They didn't seem to notice the remnants of Brett's attempt to burn it to the ground, the caked-on masking tape used for holding the flag in place, the torn cushion, the missing toilet chemicals, the broken bucket or the buckled awning. They didn't need to however, because Mark had also left them a neatly dented tabletop that they simply couldn't miss! Knowing full well that Mark would never entertain such an idea were roles reversed, nevertheless we agreed to split the damage costs for a very expensive piece of chip board (263 Euros) and compulsory cleaning charge (105 Euros).
Rest assured it was not a great feeling to once again have to carry all my gear around on my back. For 35 days Vinny had carried our bags around for us, without complaint, in relative comfort and safety. Thanks for the good times!
Now, here are a few "Top 5" lists to sum up the greatest road trip ever undertaken...
Most annoying aspects of living in a shoebox with 3 other people:
5. Not much room in there. Considering one member was easily the largest man in the world, it was no surprise that we were constantly hopping in and out of the van just to avoid unintentionally spooning one another.
4. We all snored. While we all had our moments in the spotlight, only Snags truly showed the sort of consistency needed to cement him as King Snorer title holder.
3. We produced a lot of bad smells. Naturally I can vouch for a healthy chunk of the smell production, but the combination of dirty clothes, dirty bodies, beery burps and kebabby farts was pretty nauseating at times. I can only imagine the living conditions had we not imposed a ban on using the van toilet...
2. We all enjoyed drinking too much. Seriously. There was not one single moment where you could not openly propose a drinking game and hook at least one taker. The fridge seemed to empty as quickly as we stocked it, and all attempts to calculate our overall beer count were abandoned thanks to logistics issues (ie. we can't count that high).
1. Nobody wanted to navigate. Snags probably would have taken over navigation duties but he always seemed to be too busy driving the thing. So while the rest of us got blind playing drinking games in the back, Snags kept driving until we were sufficiently lost to warrant us abusing the poor guy a little bit and taking action. In all honesty this was actually a pretty hilarious aspect of the trip - we were stupidly lost nearly all the time.
Songs receiving most air time in Vinny Van:
5. Schnappy Crocodile - Some kid
4. Land down under - Men at work
3. Are you old enough - Sleepy Jackson (Dragon cover)
2. Two out of three ain't bad - Meatloaf
1. Ghetto - Elvis Presley
Quotes we repeated ad nauseam:
5. "Living the dream!" - accompanied by high fives or air fist punch.
4. "Are you old enough...?" - sung or whistled to the Dragon tune.
3. "In the ghetto..." - sung or whistled to the Elvis tune.
2. "Nooooo waaaaay!" - delivered with mock surprise and maximum volume.
1. "Faaaaaark ooooff!" - delivered at inappropriate times by Mark in attempts to get us all killed.
Staying at the A&O Hostel was like being in a barn - way too many people. The room was quite good, but the 24/7 queue in the lobby meant everything else was a struggle. Not keen to overdo the tourist thing, we just wandered around the city taking in the sights. Unbelievable luck led us to stumble across a group of "Cristian Hip-Hop" dancers. I never realised how down they were with kids of today... hilarious!
We made it to the famous Hofbrauhaus, where we dominated 4L of beer to go with the enormous salty pretzels on offer. Admittedly very touristy, but worth it just for the photo op. Met some Korean tourists who were on an insane tour schedule - 3 European cities in 3 days. Ridiculous.
Went to a sort of Uni student house to watch the big game: Germany vs Italy. They had set up a projector outside, but thanks to the eternal sunlight it was a little tough to see to begin with. I went inside for a piss and discovered a TV... with bloody lounge chairs! Trying not to let the cat out of the bag, I alerted the others and we all watched in comfort as Germany let in 2 goals in the last few minutes of extra time. A few tears here and there, accompanied by the inevitable bloody honking of car horns all night by the Italians. We were given the option of going out on the piss to commiserate, but declined - possibly our smartest decision yet.
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