Chilling out before Round of 16

  Heidelberg, Germany
Saturday, June 24, 2006

Celebrating my birthday with a well deserved sleep in, I eventually woke to the sounds of Heidelberg. Or more specifically, to the sounds of Mark, Brett and Snags yelling at each other in the face of yet another ill-guided campingplatz search expedition. Always entertaining, the show once again culminated in Vinny Van pointing the wrong direction down a one-way street and Snags parking the beast in the middle of the road while proposing "Well you fucking drive then!". Safe in the knowledge that we all much prefer being driven around by Snags so that we can drink in the back, cooler heads prevailed and we made it to a campsite thanks to some apt directions from random German pedestrians. We still somehow manage to get Snags to ask directions on the proviso that he is the only one who can speak some German, yet I've not yet witnessed him use anything other than English to get the job done...

I hear the lads plotting against me - something about telling me we're in Hamburg rather than Heidelberg. I ponder for a moment and decide to go along with it, but also can't help wondering if it would even make a difference if I actually had no idea which town I had woken up in.

Snags chills riverside

I decide it wouldn't, and roll over in search of just a few more hours sleep. When I finally surface, I am in survival mode - I line my stomach with some solids, and then trot off to the showers to wash the rank beer out of my hair and clothes. Brett and Mark have ventured into town for some "alone time", so I assume the easyrider position and concentrate on getting myself up to scratch before we no doubt start hitting it again later in the evening.

The hugest man in the world - two to a bed?!

Fully rejuvenated, I woke the next day to the fantastic news that a bunch of rowdy Poms at our campingplatz had run amok overnight. After drinking themselves silly, they found reason to fight each other, smash all their beer bottles on the road, and of course lay some turds in the middle of the bathroom floor. Classy fellas. I really liked their Liverpool FC homemade/prison tattoos too.

Castle has seen better days

We all suited up and headed into town to have a look at another castle. The honour system on the bus once again saved us a few Euros, and at the castle I managed to smooth talk our entry price down from 3 Euros to 1.50 Euros using my ancient expired student card. The castle itself was not overly spectacular in my opinion, and the renovation scaffolding everywhere wasn't helping its cause. Overlooking the town, the castle is more impressive imposing its presence from a distance - hardly worth the torturous uphill climb, and doubtfully worth the 1.50 Euros. The possible highlight for us was in fact following a group of Yanks around, and listening as they made remarkably inappropriate and misinformed comments on a whole array of subjects.

My Boonie hat steals the show again

As game time approached we commenced the search for a decent bar, but being a game involving Germany every vantage point had been filled up well before we showed our ugly mugs. Making matters worse, Heidelberg struggles as much as most other German cities to deal with the uncharacteristic heat of this summer - once again we ended up in a smoky sweatbox, this time to watch Germany whip the Netherlands comprehensively. Argentina then easily accounted for Mexico to also progress through to the Quarter Finals. The lads headed off to dominate some Chinese "All You Can Eat", but the idea alone scared the hell out of me so I continued flying the flag in the pub with some new friends I'd made.

Mark on the castle lookout

The next day was spent indulging in more well-deserved relaxation by the river. Laying in the sun under a cloudless blue sky, Snags and I could scarcely believe the weather forecast predicting cyclonic conditions. As the afternoon approached, however, it became pretty clear that things were becoming a little more serious. Nevertheless, we wandered up to the campingplatz admin building to watch England scrape through against Sweden. In a thoroughly boring game, the highlight for us was the transmission cutting out just as Beckham ran in to take a decisive free kick, thus sending all the hooligan Poms into tyrannical fits of rage. So, as they continued to abuse the caravan park owners as if they had caused the outage themselves, the game flickered back into life just in time to catch one of the many replays.

Pleasant view from the castle

The weather really turned bad just as we were tidying up after dinner. The wind kicked up and lashed Vinny's awning around, collapsing it on poor Snags' head. We scrambled to pack it away, and once everything was in "lockdown position" we headed back to the admin building to watch the 9pm game. Of course, with fierce thunder and lightning crackling right on top of us it was no real surprise that the entire first half transmission was out. The rain really started to pelt down, ensuring that while we waited we entertained ideas of an evacuation plan should the river swell past its banks and attempt to swallow Vinny. Finally the TV came back to life, revealing an hilariously spiteful clash between Portugal and Switzerland. The referee appeared to have lost his mind along with control of the match, as he handed out red and yellow cards as if they were going out of fashion. A complete debacle that made the World Cup look amateurish - but entertaining viewing for us!