Patience, Practice, Perfection

Trip Start Jul 23, 2005

Trip End Jul 25, 2006

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Flag of Japan Futenma, Japan
Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Now I must tell you about my newest hobby. It is called shodo in Japanese. It is the writing of Japanese kanji characters with ink, and a brush. When put this way, it seems like a simple task. And in fact it might be, for someone with the required skills. For someone that is artistically inclined it might even be fun and easy. For someone with lots of patience or a drive for perfection it might be relaxing and quite enjoyable. For a lucky person who already knows the stroke order and meaning of the kanji it could be effortless. Unfortunately for me, these are all characteristics I greatly lack. Hmmmm then, I began to question why I am drawn to this at all. Why do I keep going down to visit my students who belong to my schools shodo club, hoping that they will bequeath me some of their eloquent and seemingly (to me) professional knowledge of the art. They are quite talented, and I am not just saying that because they are my students and I am biased. It really is impressive how with a few flicks of the wrist and waves of the arm they make something that is incomprehensible to me, yet at the same time amazingly beautiful. I know that unless I devote my life to this, I will never be near as good as them. At least, I will learn a few simple characters well. At best, they will look better than what a seven year old can do. Yet, I keep going back for more. I thought perhaps it was because I am a masochist. But, I do not think that is it. I would like to believe that I am delving into this head first because I wanted to step outside my boundaries and limits, challenge myself to try something new. And possibly build on some of my weaknesses. Become more well rounded? Well anyway, I am trying and if I ever get something I am happy with I will share it with you.

It took me awhile to join the shodo club at school. Not because I didn`t know where it was or anything. But because I was hesitant, afraid, shy and nervous. Hesitant they would not accept me, afraid that I would be laughed at, shy because of my lack of knowledge and nervous because I did not know how they would respond to me. One day before I was leaving to go home, I decided to go down to the room just to have a look at what they were doing. I was mesmerized by a student, rhythmically playing the brush onto the paper. I stopped at the door, watching through the window silently, and apparently with my jaw open for when I came to and looked elsewhere I found the teacher looking at me, head cocked, quizzically as if asking if I was alright. I decided this would be my entry strategy, I would go and watch every once and a while and hope they would eventually invite me in. That and just watching was really amazing. So I went back every few days. Just peeking briefly, keeping my jaw in check. Finally, after a few weeks, I went in when they weren`t practicing. They were happy to see me, and asked what I was doing. I told them my wish and they gleefully told me to come anytime!

The first day I was met with about seven students around a table. No one was practicing, but they told me to pick up the brush and try. So I did. With all eyes on me, I made my best attempt at hana- which means flower. After seeing what I could do, there was a fierce battle to show me how it was really done. Oh, wait no, they all giggled, and reluctantly, after much discussion nominated a very scared looking girl who came to my rescue. She proceeded to knock out a very beautiful kanji, making emphasis at the points I should work on. It went on like this for a while. Me making a terrible stroke with them all watching, and then the giggle and finally help. Off and on they had questions for me. About my family, and the weather in my state and of course if I had a boyfriend or not. Finally, after an hour and a half of full on attention, speaking Japanese, and trying to concentrate on what they were teaching me, I had to call it quits. I told them I would be back again, to which they seemed happy! I have been back a handful of times now. Still not improving, but wishing I would have started sooner as I am quite enjoying myself.

One student has taken me on, whether or not she intended to I do not know. But I stand next to her and first she shows me how to do a kanji. Then I practice over and over. She pretends to go back to her work, but always watching me out of the corner of her eye. When she sees me struggling with something, she quietly comes over and makes the stroke a few times on my paper so I can see how it is done. She goes back to her work, watching me, and when she sees I am still having a hard time, she doesn`t point it out and make a big deal calling attention to my terribleness. She tilts her head to get my attention, so I can watch her out of the corner of my eye, and starts to practice the stroke on her own paper over and over so I can watch. Until finally after repeating sloppy, messy, ugly, strokes 100 times until I am about to give up, I spew out something that resembles what they want me to do. And they are clapping. How have I not realized them gathering????

Oh and I am trying to get a diving license at the moment. Hopefully after this weekend I will be certified and be able to explore a whole new world!!! Really!

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