Bangkok
Trip Start
Aug 20, 2008
1
11
15
Trip End
Apr 14, 2009
Bangkok,
Thailand
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Even as I waited for my baggage in the space age confines of the new Suvarnabhumi airport I felt like Iīd crossed into another dimension (it really is one of the worldīs most astonishing airports, architecturally and in terms of facilities.....though luckily this was two weeks before it was occupied by anti-government protestors!)
Like most visitors to Bangkok mine was to be just the briefest of stays......though thatīs plenty of time to savour the chaotic energy and hedonism of the place. Oh and lets not forget the food! As someone with an abiding love of all things Thai and culinary I was in seventh heaven. Even from the most humble of street stalls you can fill up on the most mouthwatering Pad Thai youīve ever tasted. All itīs all for a little under 2 euro! Many people come to Bangkok to stock up on knock-off handbags and DVDs or watch nubile young things expel plastic projectiles from their nether regions. Iīd happily spend my time there eating (with some expert assistance from Singha beer of course!) Though it has to be said your appetite might do a double take as you walk through the markets and see the array of deep fried scorpions and grubs for sale.....the tragic thing is that they smell incredible. Itīs only when you peer closer that your lower instestine starts doing backflips! Of course anyone wishing to wake up with a hole in their head can opt for the traditional whiskey /redbull/ coke buckets which have been known to seperate the men from the Lady boys on more than one occassion.
Ok I did succumb to tempation and spent a few hours rummaging through the Khoa San Road market. I came away armed with almost two dozen cds for Ian (including some inspiring tunes for the weekend gigs!) and a few DVDs for friends back home.....though admittedly buying anything from the markets here is a bit of a lottery. Still as the Ryanair philosophy goes "What did you expect for twenty quid?". Along with the counterfeit goods - which are there in spades - thereīs also a thriving business in fake ID cards and drivers licences. To be honest if you wanted to buy a human head preserved in formaldahyde, given a few days notice youīd probably be able to pick one up here.
Of course one of the big treats that everyone should treat themself to in Bangkok is a bit of firm manipulation by the local masseurs. For the uninitiated, a Thai massage essentially involves you been pummelled like an obstinate duvet which wonīt fit into its cover.....itīs not subtle but my god do you feel good afterwards. So after picking a massage parlour that didnīt appear as if they were in the business of offering er....extras I put myself at the mercy of a very no nonsense little Thai lady who over the course of next hour would thump, beat, stretch and partially dislocate every muscle in my entire body. It made the Yoga from the previous week feel like being licked by kittens! As massages go its very through.....as youīre lying there wearing just a pair of baggy wrap-around pants, this little woman is gingerly pressing parts of your flesh that even your most intimate paramour would blush at. Then as we were about to exchange marriage vows she disappeared behind me and ordered me to get my head in between her legs. As sheīd already disengaged most of my motor neurons I was helpless to protest and a few minutes later there were some very disturbing cracking noises from my spine as I was spun 180 degrees in either direction. God only knows what she was doing, but I could have honestly ran a marathon afterwards. Not bad for five quid!
Even though Bangkok boasts something over 300 temples I shamefully left the sightseeing for another time. Luckily I had been there for a few days three years previously to meet with my sister so at least Iīd managed a boat trip on the river and caught a glimpse of the impressive gold plated reclining Budha at the Wat Pho Temple - though I think itīs fair to say most people stuidously avoid any consumption of culture when they get there and its hard not to see why. Still I was now well fed, rested and spinally reconfigured and all ready for the big reunion in Istanbul!
