Slow Days
Trip Start
Sep 03, 2004
1
22
27
Trip End
Dec 28, 2006
Turkmenabat,
Turkmenistan
Monday, June 6, 2005
But on the bright side, I have had a lot of time to think, read and gear up for the hot weather camps. It is amazing how desolate a place can get when it is a 110 degrees outside. If you take a walk at 1:00 pm the only person you will see is another PCV! But we Americans have been proven stupid over and over again.
The crazy camp season that I am talking about is going to be crazier than expected (pending permissions). Starting on Sunday, I will not be at my host family's house for a few months. I will be in other states, cities and homes trying to teach some English. I am pretty excited for most, especially the 5 day overnight camp out on the Caspian Sea where I get to teach swimming lessons and mountain culture! Now all I need to teach is Financial Aid and all of my skills will have been tapped! I actually am just really excited to get to do work and have fun here. It has been a slow few months...but that is what the Peace Corps is all about.
I just finished a great book. Life of Pi is about a Indian kid that is shipwrecked and is on a life boat for almost a year. It had a few references that reminded me of my position, although his situation is much worse. One quote that really got me was "Time is an illusion that only makes us pant. I survived because I forgot even the very notion of time. What I remember are the events and encounters and routines, markers that emerged here and there from the ocean of time and imprinted themselves on my memory." I thought about that for a second and then went to sleep. Today, I woke up only to realize it is the 5th of JUNE! I totally understand how that is, I am no longer based off a calendar, rather how hot it is or what day I have to go into the city. It is amazing, there are very long days here when I am sick and hot, but overall the weeks go quickly and the months even faster! I can't believe that I will be home in such a short amount of time.
The anxiety of coming home for a two week vacation is hitting hard. I am really hoping that this summer proves to be the experience I need it to be. The thought of stepping off the plane and going right back to my former life overwhelms me more than many can understand. To begin with, I don't know how I will react when I am trying to explain this place uncensored. I don't want to sound like I hate it or it is dangerous, but when I talk it may come off that way. Also, I wonder how much I have changed. What is important to me now really wasn't then. Overall, I do think I have one thing going for me. This experience has made me the most adaptable person I know. I can go into any situation and figure it out pretty quickly and be content. I just hope that I am not constantly saying, 'Tstan this, tstan that, in tstan it is like this, oh relax at least you are not in tstan." I remember this feeling quite well while living in Germany, but that is the 51st state in comparison. Basically I know I have lost some confidence in me and my mission, but I am sure those insecurities will pass with the sight of my family and friends.
On to the new adventures in Turkmenistan. Most would get excited for the sight of the newly found fruit in our bazaar! Let me tell you, there are so many colors now I don't know what to do. Granted that only brings more people to the bazaar and that means more fighting and grabbing but I am happy to see an array of cherries, apricots, cucumbers and tomatoes! It is a sad truth, they will only last a month or so. So now, my host mother is buying them 10 kilos at a time and canning them more than she can enjoy the fresh fruit! We are making everything from fruit juice to chase the winter vodka down to the jams that we eat year-round. I was helping her yesterday in awe thinking how cool it is that I can make all this stuff when I go home. Then I came to my senses and realized I will never do this at home unless home is very far away from a grocery store with Smuckers and Kool Aid. Who knows, RPCVs do have some crazy work history! But if you ever need pickles, jam or juice in the future, I only charge 20000 manat per jar!
It is fun to sit around the kitchen and talk to my host mother. She has never had help before with all of this work, and she has some interesting perspectives on life. It is fun to sit in a room and both be blown away by the questions we ask each other. For example, she thinks it is so funny when I ask her "where do the kids take all of those weeds to?" as much as shake my head in amusement to her questions of "when you go home to America, will you take grapes with you?" It is fun to realize how much we don't know about each other and how much we never will know. As long as I have lived with her, or as long as I will, she will probably never know me because my home is beyond her imagination. She is truly living in the present and not much else crosses her mind except the neighborhood gossip.
My host dad has been on Outspka for the past month. Each Turkmen worker works for 11 months and gets one month off. Similar to vacation time in the USA, but here they don't really go anywhere. I have never seen anyone relentlessly work on a house before in my life. He is remodeling the room next to mine, repainting the house, fixing the garden hose, building new chicken coup doors and any other random thing you could think of doing. I am trying to figure out if any of the work really needs to be done, or if he is just bored out of his mind. It is fun to have him home during the day. His favorite questions is when is my outspka going to start so I have to start working too! He is cute. My hot mom and dad will move into the new room and I will have a neighbor, while my host brother and sister will take over the main house. It is also fun to see that every month when I pay my 20 dollar rent, something else gets done on the house. Amazing how far 20 bucks will go here. They tell me that next month I will get a phone in my room. I can't decide if that is good or bad, I don't really want to take messages for people, but I would like to be able to get phone calls that I answer and not have them staring at me when I am talking to home. I will worry about that when it happens. It will improve my Turkmen skills to say the least.
I have been passing the time really well by teaching my host brother and sister dominoes. It takes all my might to not cheat since they don't understand that me seeing their dominoes hinders their chances of winning. But there have been some close games recently. They both can beat me in Jenga, but I am still the overall dominoes master. I can't wait for when I come home in September and buy monopoly or games that will be really fun to play. Some variety will be key to my boredom next year.
My health is much better, I am feeling back to normal more everyday. I have to be really careful now eating more fresh fruits and making sure they are well washed and not bad. But I am doing great, off re-hydration salts all together! I am glad that passed. Mental note for all of you, don't ever get bacteria dysentery in your life. It sucks. But, anyway...
I am rambling now. The best way to contact me all of July will be email. I will get it about once a week and we can set up phone calls like that. I will give different numbers and set up times as usual. I hope all is well at home, I will be there before you know it.
Miss you and love you all!
katy
