6 MONTHS
Trip Start
Sep 03, 2004
1
18
27
Trip End
Dec 28, 2006
Danew,
Turkmenistan
Monday, March 14, 2005
I can't believe that March 5th marked my 6 months away from home! Where the time has gone, I have no idea. When I gave my passport up for renewal, I thought a lot more about the late night curfew in Ashgabat, but also took some time to see what I have gotten done so far in country. At first, I was very frustrated. How after 6 months, I still stumble through my spoken Turkmen, I haven't seen all that much English improvement, and I feel more lost than ever on possible projects and ideas. For the first 6 months, I went in thinking I had goals and a good grasp on what success would be for my service, and now I am realizing it is all going to change. But before I get to what and where I am going to focus the next part of my service, I started think how far I have come. I have learned the Zen of buying an airplane ticket. I have sent home a package successfully. I did in fact get a classroom to teach out of. I have learned to say very good "Uzbek toasts". I no longer complain about a pit toilet, no running water, disgusting food, or floating fat in my soup (there is a difference).
I have come to terms with many cultural differences and this week I finally realized that I am going to have to change my outlook of success to match what this community wants. It sounds very easy, but it is one of the biggest things I have ever put myself up to. PC keeps telling you what success means and how small it can be, and I thought I understood. For example, I would come home and say, what a great day at work, my kids learned something I am smiling and it was good food. That is success. I thought it would be great for two years, but would still write emails home about new basketball courts, YMCAs, youth programs etc etc. Now I know those were my ideas and they will never work without it being someone else's idea.
So after 6 months, what I have I really done? Just made a lot of mistakes. But it is time to look at those mistakes and know they are in the past and start changing. I wish I could really explain to some of you just how small yet how large of an impact I have on this community and what kind of magnitude I can do, but also how little I can do. It can be a very helpless yet empowering feeling. So I am starting from square one. I am writing out a community survey, asking doctors, teachers, merchants what they want for their youth and community. Asking what will be successful, how they can help and have them tell me why I am here, instead of me telling them why I am here. I hope to implement some basic projects, but I am also really excited to get a definition of why I am here. I have also learned that it is hard to do a job that is completely unnecessary. I know many of you feel like that at your entry level jobs, but really, there is very little need for my village kid to speak English. Really, without changing what their entire culture is based of: family, farms and small shops, there is little need for English. So I am going to be reducing my hours at the school drastically. I want to work with youth development programs to reach out to many more kids that just those that have excelled in English class. Provide leadership and practical education to their world and see where that takes me. Also develop some resources for teachers to use and try to continue to work on Teacher's English and methodologies. Who knows what this survey will bring home so I may be teaching some circus trapeze classes if that is what they want, but I think I have an exciting 6 months ahead of me. This week, I learned why the Peace Corps is 2 years long, because it takes 3 to get anything done!
This past week I was in Ashgabat for our Program Design and management conference. It went really well. It made me and my counterpart really start to think about what we can do and we learned the art of grant writing! It was a quite boring conference, but great to see my counterpart actually think. She has never been taught to think proactively and think about change. I don't know quite yet how much she took from the whole conference, but it was good to stretch her mind a little bit and think about what we can do. It caused a lot of tension between us that I am still feeling, but hopefully we will both get over ourselves and start working together. I just need her to stop spreading rumors about me....we are having a rough week this week. Change is a very difficult concept to grasp and difficult to teach to unmotivated people. To make a long story short, I am looking for someone new to do all my outside school projects with, since my counterpart really doesn't have the time or motivation to do other things....
So we will see what happens. It was a pretty boring conference, but we managed to have too much fun! It was the first time all the volunteers have been together for 3 months, and let me say it is pretty amazing how crazy people can get after 3 months in a village. We all needed to let it all out, and we chose some interesting ways of doing it! It was nice to see everyone and be in a REAL hotel with showers, toilets and maid services. Peace Corps paid for us to stay in the 2nd nicest hotel: the 4 Points Sheraton, I felt so close to Tucson! The food was amazing, I saw my first veggies in months and it was almost oil free. Ironic that most of us got sick off it because it was too rich. Damn preservatives. There were many stories I will never forget from these nights, but the discos were fun and the beer was good. We don't really have either of which in the village (but we do have vodka and living rooms...arguably more entertaining).
Ashgabat became a real city to me after 3 months in the middle of no where. It was amazing to see concrete again, shiny lights, things to do, and internet. It is amazing how much my perspective changed on that place, it used to be just a small city and now it is bigger than NYC in my eyes. Makes me scared of what will happen when I go back to say, Aurora or Tucson....I might die! I like to describe Ashgabat as a mix of the Bellagio hotel and a monopoly board. Really, it is all huge, white, "marble" buildings in the middle of nowhere and a lot of fountains. But the mountains looked bigger and more beautiful than ever and a crosswalk was nice.
So now I am back at site, more motivated than ever. I have put a huge effort into my Turkmen and running. This week I only had 6 rocks thrown at me on my runs....down quite a bit since I changed my routes through the cemetery and cotton fields. The old Shepard and the sheep look at me like I am quite crazy, but I need to do it. I have completely changed my work schedule to make time to plan camps and work on other projects. It is nice to be at school early and be done early. I am working there from about 8-2 and then I plan. We have so much work in front of us right now, it is ridiculous. We are planning so many camps: a overnight students camp, teachers camp, and 2 in my village (one for orphans and a day English camp). Overall, we have 55 days of camp to plan by June 1st! WOW...it is overwhelming. I was just appointed students' camp director (who knew Brush Ranch Camps would be experience in Tstan) and I am working on finding a site. I hope to find somewhere that has a few trees....we will see. I have also started up a few projects that may become the reason I am here. 2 other volunteers and I have started up a discussion group based on gender and development. We have our first meeting on Friday, I think it will be fun to really cross the cultures and have them think about their realities. I am really excited about that. It is only one day a week, and we hope to get about 30 people of all ages to come in and discuss. The other big project is the AIDS committee. the group before me was able to get permissions to start educating about HIV/AIDS! I am very excited to start working, my main goal is to get a training of trainers seminar by October going....permissions is the hardest aspect of this one. I really have no control over whether it will work out or not...Nesip Bolsa (GodWilling).
My family still rocks my world, although they are making me talk a lot more lately! I usually am pretty quiet at meals and such, but they are not letting the language come between us anymore! It is funny, sometimes I feel like I am being interrogated by my host dad about my life. But how does one explain a life that can be quite boring on a daily basis. I find myself talking about the woman at the bazaar that I bought my bread from....I don't know why! But it is good for my Turkmen, and my dad and I have been bonding a lot lately. Spring came (in my terms summer, it is already 80s) and I planted my first onions and potatoes! It was a TON of work, but really interesting. Who knew you just plant small potatoes to get big ones and same with onions?! It was a learning experience, but I really wish we had a John Deer tractor....we joked about that the whole weekend, I need to get my dad one of those green hats with the John Deer logo on it! The trees are starting to bloom, it is nice to see a few flowers. I hear they only last about a month before they die from the heat....I am not looking forward to this summer, I am going to roast my butt off....130 in the shade sounds like so much fun. I am more nervous about how things are going to smell...more than people, the open air meat bazaar, the pit toilets, the busses with too many people....ahhh, if I come home in July, you know why!
So I am about to end this update, but I was trying to think of a funny story to tell you all (it is harder and harder to find them lately, my life is just funny). But I was going through my journal and thought you might like this clip:
MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN TURKMENISTAN!
5. My host mom and the big gold smile. How she strokes my leg at the dinner table and welcomes me home with a caress of the breast makes me question her sexuality but also shows her love for me. How she asks me everyday if anyone gave me trouble and if she needs to make any "house calls" and her oily soup that she just doesn't understand that I hate it! Her questions of the bazaars in America and the quest for more spicy food recipes make me laugh and realize how lucky I am to have her here.
4. The broom man. The smile that makes this man's big old nose crinkle makes me laugh everyday. He sells brooms at the bazaar everyday and I manage to walk to or from work the opposite time as he does! We say hello and he always laughs in his leopard-skin printed robe and Talpek hat!
3. The gay postman that doesn't know what a gay person is! Once a week I see my friend Murat that rides his bike around town with the biggest smile and always says hi to everyone and makes you feel special. He is great, he is straight out of Mr. Rodger's neighborhood or something! If only the people at the post office were so nice and helpful!
2. The taxi drivers that know my schedule and story better than I do. Every taxi driver has unique questions and funny stories to tell you. Makes me feel in the community when I just go to the taxi stand and talk to them a little bit. They even notice when I get a new dress or robe....sometime, no most of the time they are sketchy but funny they are some of my only friends. If only I were allowed to hang out with any of them....
1. The Carrot truck driver. there is a man in Danew that drives and delivers carrots, to where and whom I don't know. But when I see him, he leans all the way out of his big truck and swerves and screams, "AMERICA! AMERICA HOW ARE YOU!" and then offers to drive me where I am going. It is quite entertaining. 'Cause you know, I am America! Just me!
The people are defiantly the ones that keep me here and these people above are the ones that will keep me here for 2 years. Hopefully my work will become meaningful and rewarding, but until then I know I am making individual impacts. Brick by brick, I guess.
So that is that. Next weekend I am going to the Caspian Sea and then we have spring break for a week. Should be very interesting....I am still wondering how I am so close to the Caspian Sea. Never in my life did I imagine seeing that, let alone being on a summer house there! Happy spring everyone and just remember as our great book tells us "Spring is the earth smiling at us." that was my English theme yesterday....ahhhh, the joys. Maybe some of you will get that...who knows.
MISS YOU ALL LOVE YOU
katy
