Ruth
Trip Start
Apr 06, 2003
1
5
69
Trip End
Ongoing
Amsterdam,
Netherlands
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Yesterday was an extremely tough day for me. I have been preparing myself for the hardship that will come with moving to a foreign country. As you have already seen in previous TravelPods, the adjustment is tremendous and in some ways, more trying than I had expected. While I have been able to accomplish a few menial tasks needed to set up my life in Amsterdam, yesterday kicked my ass.
A very good friend of mine died yesterday. To be more specific, she died Sunday evening but because of the time difference, I did not know she passed until yesterday at about 3 pm local time.
Ruth was one of my mom's best friends and I can say, a friend of mine as well. My mom has a lot of very very good friends but recently I began to notice her refer to Ruth as her "sister". My mom has 1 blood sibling, a brother, no sisters.
Ruth had been battling cancer for the past year or so and had been given no other option than to go to the land of miracles, Israel, hoping that the tiny country could produce yet one more. While a miracle was not had, it was not because Ruth didn't fight with all her might.
Up until yesterday, I didn't realize how far from home and how alone I was. I spoke to Joey on Sunday evening and he filled me in on some of the details of Ruth's grim situation. He told me that Ruth's 2 son's, 1 of which is a very close friend of mine, the other a very close friend of my bro's, and her mother-in-law were enroute from LA to Israel, hoping to see her one last time. At that moment, I knew she didn't have long and sadly, they didn't make it in time. I made 1 last call home to see if my dad or bro had any additional info (my mom was in Florida with a friend and I had forgot that my dad was on a business trip in Denver). Nobody was home so I left a voicemail and went to bed.
When I awoke the next morning, there was a teary voicemail from my bro asking that I call him whenever I get the message, regardless of the time. I knew what that meant, but I didn't know for sure. I called my bro but he didn't pick up the phone. From that moment, roughly 8 am local time, until people began to awake in the States, roughly 2 pm local time, I waited for the inevitable. It was difficult to have nothing to do but think. I finally heard from Julie that Ruth had passed.
What could I do? Who could I talk to about how I was feeling to have lost someone so close to me and my family? Should I fly home for the funeral? What is the right thing to do? What is the feasible thing to do? How was my mom doing? Had anyone even located my dad? How was my bro doing, having to run from this side of the valley to the other, trying to help Ruth's kids get ready for what was probably the most difficult flight of their lives?
I thought about all of these questions and more basically all day. I finally spoke to my mom. We talked for a bit and I broke down and cried. I'm not sure how much was about Ruth and how much was simply about me being here. I know that moving to Amsterdam was the right move for me and that in the future, this will make me stronger. But that doesn't make it any easier in the present.
I have been here for 2 weeks but since Julie was here last week, I feel like I am just arriving now. I know that all I need to do is set up a routine. I have American friends here. I have Dutch friends here. All have been very nice to me. I just need to figure out a system. I have to find new favorite restaurants. New TV shows. New bars. New charities to involve myself in. I know what I need to do. Now I need to do it.
I am beginning to ramble here. I don't want to alarm anybody into thinking I'm unhappy. I'm not, I'm very happy. I'm just alone in a strange place and it will take a bit of time to get my feet on the ground. The point is yesterday was tough and I think loosing Ruth brought that all to a head.
My last conversation with Ruth was just days before I was to leave for Amsterdam and she was to leave for Israel. Not wanting to say "good-bye" because of the finality of the phrase given her situation, I told her that we were both going on "journeys". I guess I will need to finish her journey for her.
Ruth, you fought valiently and now I hope you rest in peace. I loved you and am happy to have known you. My family is very close with yours and I know we will continue to be so. My mom has suffered a huge loss but I am happy that she has many memories of the 2 of you that she will be able to share with her many other "sisters".
-Stephen
