Day 23 - Kochi, Kerala
Trip Start
Jan 2003
1
20
200
Trip End
Dec 2003
Ernakulam,
India
Monday, February 17, 2003
Without a doubt the best day of the trip so far (for me anyway) but first last night, our Valentine's night. I'm not a fan of Valentine's at the best of times (I'm embarrassed to admit I can't really remember any in the past) but we made an effort. The Karthakali (Keralan Dance) was entertaining but thankfully we didn't get there too early. The play/dance/musical/opera that it is, is supposed to last for an hour and a half but they recommend you get there at least the same amount of time beforehand to witness the application of the make-up (which is also done on stage). Fortunately we decided 30 minutes would be adequate and it turned out to be more than enough. To be fair the make-up is an intrinsic part of the performance but there really is no need to watch them sequentially apply it from start to finish! While I didn't fully understand the performance (despite the prior explanations and the free synopsis handout), I blame my lack of comprehension on the French idiots in front who insisted on not only filming the whole show but also on adding their own narrative
Kirsty and a Coconut
.Despite its limited chances of being accepted on Broadway or in the West End it was nonetheless entertaining - particularly the part where one of them ate another's intestines and then rubbed them on the head of a third performer to make her hair grow back. I know that makes me sound a bit on the sick side but this part at least brought vocal reaction from the crowds whereas most of it just brought evacuation!
On to today and as I say, the best day of the trip. It started off with the full body massage we'd both booked for 10:00 this morning. I've never had any kind of professional massage before so I was apprehensive as we walked to the 'parlour' to say the least. My apprehensions grew when we arrived and in keeping with ayurvedic traditions (men massage only men and women massage only women) were led into different rooms.
Now the following was what happened to me and thankfully when we left it appears to have been just about the same for Kirsty - to check on details you'd have to ask her!
Anyway, first off, I was given a hand-towel/face cloth to 'change into' and then was asked to sit down. Ignoring my British preconceptions of nakedness amongst men, I overcame my initial idea of keeping my undergarments on beneath my hand towel. 5 minutes into the massage I was glad to have shed my shyness as one of my two masseurs untied my one article of clothing. 10 minutes in, I'd avoided an embarrassing moment as the other masseur asked me to lie on my back, then took away the hand towel I had become quite attached to, and asked, "Problem?"
Now I had been enjoying my massage up until then but all of a sudden I realised I was naked among men for the first time since school
Me and a Coconut
. This I coped with and my preconceived fears of 'reaching a state of arousal' during my massage were unfounded. This (and I'm very thankful to say that this is the truth - although I'd never say otherwise) remained the case and despite being as close to a threesome as I ever have been - 4 hands touching my penis/testicles simultaneously (none of which were mine) - it was not the kind of threesome I spent my teenage years dreaming about and therefore my 'coolness' remained in tact!Some of the massage felt great (I'm afraid of sounding like a tosser but I could almost feel pain/heat being pushed out of my body) but some of it was bloody painful - 12 hours later I'm nursing bruises the size of my fists on both my inner thighs! Being honest (and again hopefully sounding acceptable) I left with a previously inexperienced yet pleasant feeling of both relaxation and invigoration.
This afternoon we were booked onto a boat for a few hours to see the Keralan backwaters. While I was more than happy to do this, I was not expecting anything more than our camel 'safari'. Given that it had cost £7 between us, I was shocked when the included-in-the-price taxi that had come to pick us up drove us around 40km before depositing us with our guide, Shampi. Shampi turned out to be the perfect guide - knowledgeable, interesting and amusing - and our trip was much more than I had bargained for. I thought we had bought into a large, motorised, tourist-filled boat that would take us up and down the backwaters until we got serious sunburn. What we got was Shampi & 2 oarsmen (note - un-motored boat must count as another form of transport - a bicycle is different to a motorbike at the end of the day) who gave us a guided tour of the world where they live.
All the inhabitants of the area work as part of a co-operative, farming the land around the backwaters and are totally self-sufficient. We saw coconut farming, coir production and mattress weaving not to mention the innumerable species of birds and exotic kinds of botany we were introduced to. I previously never knew where peppercorns came from or that there was a fruit called the suicide fruit (which contains cyanide - I guess when there are no buildings to jump off then you have to think of other ways to commit suicide)! The final thing that struck me was how resourceful they were. From the coconut tree, they get furniture, cooking oil, hair and body care products, their own homemade highly intoxicating brew, coir, doormats - oh, and sometimes they eat them as well!
Finally there was our meal tonight. On the way to our boat trip Kirsty noticed a sign for a 'Wine Bar' within walking distance of our hotel. Having not had wine since we left (and having just got confirmation of Kirsty's bonus) we decided to head to the said 'Wine Bar' to celebrate. It turned out to be the restaurant inside a beautiful 5 star hotel where we had exquisite food (easily the best of the trip), surprisingly good Indian white wine, more booze, coffee for Kirsty, Havana cigar for me and a chat with the proprietor - all for about £35 - it's days like this when I realise how and why people spend so long in India!
