Alan's observations and comments
Trip Start
Oct 09, 2007
1
38
42
Trip End
Nov 16, 2007
Mumbai (Bombay),
India
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The day before yesterday at Crawford Markets the funniest thing happened. We were wondering around, sweat pouring out of us; hundreds of people were swarming getting their last minute shopping done. We had just come out of the stifflingly hot Cloth Markets which are all enclosed and have hardly any ventilation where we were buying 'shirtings' (fabric to make shirts) for Donovan.
Having come out from the darkened market into the bright sunlight, we paused in the middle of the street which was jammed with stalls, shoppers, cars - you know, the usual Indian scene, to get our bearings. Whatever you do, do NOT stop in such a location in India. That is when you are vulnerable to hawkers who swarm around you. There must have been about 6 - 8 who all were pressing things in front of our faces "Madam - pegs for you" "Table cloth, see you want to buy table cloth?" "Handkerchief sir, handkerchief?" (maybe this one I may have found some use for wiping the streams of sweat) etc. We have mastered the art of ignoring them but even this was too much as we were trying to have a conversation and figure out which way to go.
All of a sudden, Judicia yells at them "BAS! (Enough) Can't you see I am just trying to figure out which way to go. MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!" She didn't have to tell them to move really because as soon as they heard her yell they all jumped out of their skins a couple of feet back. It was like a scene from a movie where they use cables to pull people back like in Chinese action movie stunts! I had to struggle to keep a straight face. She was flashing her kajal rimmed eyes at them and used her umbrella to clear a path for us through the rest of the crowd. People parted like the Red Sea. Moses, however this time had a staff made of Rajasthani embroidered fabric (umbrella) and was wearing a sleeveless choli and Ali baba pants.
Judicia has been practising this flashing stare and dismissive "Bas" to perfection in her dealings with the Traffic Light Beggar Syndicate (not real beggars) and other pesky, persistent street vendors. Often, she need not say a word, the glare she gives them is enough to scare even me! However, with the people that she has taken a liking to like farourite porters and waiters, friendly shopkeepers etc, she turns on her charm and has them fawning all over her.
I however am a little more subtle. Often I look straight through them (I feel really bad but it is very effective) and at other times I conjure the look of the bored Aussie husband complete with yawning and scratching myself!! There was also the ocassion during the booking-of-the-movie-tickets fiasco where one annoying little man was invading my space. For those of you who know just how much I can perspire (think the Ally McBeal sweaty guy) during this incident this particular guy was so kiasu (afraid) that someone will take his spot in the queue that he invaded my space and was almost pressed up against me. I tried my usual tricks like sticking my arms out by resting my hands on my hips and then spinning around to talk to Judicia in the next queue (thereby poking him with my elbow) and leaning left and right but the guy just did NOT get the msg and merely siddled up to the 'new' space created by my movements. So, in frustration I started to pretend to admire the ceiling and drip sweat over him. This went on for a good fifteen minutes as Judicia was killing herself laughing (discretely) but still this silly fellow persisted.
The other thing I need to write about - okay confess to is that just as I was in Chandini Chowk (think lost) I have yet to master the art of asking the right person for directions. Everyone that I eventually approach when I see that Judica is begining to lose her patience at my 'following my nose' either does not speak English or does not know where the place is or otherwise sends us in the wrong direction. Judicia on the other hand always seems to pick a winner (how does she single them out?) and with her sweetly flashing her biggest smile and wagging her head, her eyes dancing, she somehow manages to ask in such a way that they always know or go out of their way to find someone to assist us! Why doesn't she just save me all the trouble and just ask them in the first place?
