A Shaman Named Jesus
Trip Start
Sep 04, 2008
1
8
33
Trip End
Jan 11, 2009
Cusco,
Peru
Monday, September 29, 2008
Bored with sitting in cafes drinking endless cafe con leches I thought I would do something vaguely cultural and visit the Inglesas de San Blas. After traipsing around the shops with Jenny and Chantal I eventually made it (alone) to the church. Unfortunately it is 50 soles to get in (10 English Pounds). I decided against it and wandered around the San Blas shops instead. "Magic Hands" looked interesting and went to the doorway. Although the sign said Open the door was locked. As I started away the door opened to this guy - you guessed it - Jesus the Shaman.
Jesus invited me in, telling me that I was allowed in because I had an orange and green aura. "Oh boy, one of those," I thought, "Just have a quick scoot around the shop, smile and leave." But Jesus is a very charismatic and acutally very interesting guy. He asked to look at my right hand and told me something I canīt remember even now, but it must have been convincing because when he asked to look at my chakras I let him.
Now, of course he said some obvious stuff you can guess from proding a personal physically and verbally, like I have tight shoulders... apparently they are blocking the path from my head to my heart, and they indicate I absorb too much of what other people think and do (kind of true?) But he also told me that he thought I was very confused, I have had a year of big changes and that I am an "analytical crazy woman" which Iīm sure, if you have found this unpublicised blog entry, you will agree. "Hey, itīs my job to be analytical," I told him. But I analyse too much, he says, which is true. He also told me I am an old spirit which others have also told me before, and that no one really understands me. And that I protect my broken heart too much. Totally suckered in by now, I asked him what I should do. Not so fast, he says, let me tell you why...
I have eight - count ém - eight past lives, but only the last four count for me just now. Firstly I was a soaring condor high up in the sky. But I needed grounding, so then I became a "macho man, naughty little boy" which is now my karma (this does not sound good.) Then I was a butterfly which is very good but he explained why in Spanish so Iīm not really sure why that was good. And then most recently, before now I suppose, I was a medicine women which is why I now have powerful hands. Mmm hmmm. Jesus said people ascend at a certain rate through their past lives. I, on the other hand, have acsended too quickly as a condor and a butterfly, which is why now I am confused and why no one understands me.
So what should I do? Jesus said I donīt need therapy at his clinic in the mountains, which is handy because Iīm only in Cusco for another week. However, fire opals will help me out. "And what do fire opals look like, Jesus?" I asked. Funnily enough he had one set in a piece of jewellery just for me! It wasnīt the prettiest necklace but it the fire opal was quite attractive. The clincher was on the back: a design that looked a bit like a fish or cross made up of magnetic stone (to trap the bad energy), moonstone to work with the bull horn to relax and tranform bad energy into pure energy, lapiz blue to work with serpinta to "expel pure energy for me." I mustnīt let anyone touch the necklace for 10 days, or let any animals near it or put it on a table; in 3 months my broken chakras will be healed, my tight back will be relaxed and I will no longer be a "analytical crazy woman."
Sounded pretty amazing. And how much does the necklace cost? 600 soles. Yes, thatīs around $210. Over 100 English Pounds. Whatīs 600 soles to fix my broken chakras, have a longer and happier life? Tricky question. I guess the answer is similar to why I didnīt pay the chiropractor 300 quid to fix my back back in Glasgow (although not at all similar to why Iīll happily spend over 100 quid a go on getting my hair done.) Almost needless to say I didnīt buy it.
But I did ībuyī Jesus, he seemed very genuine and knew somethings that I donīt think he could have known from the way I dressed or any other outward appearance. For instance, he knew this was my second time to Peru and that I had been here before in April. He also thought that although I said I was English that I didnīt live in England, which is true; last place I lived was Glasgow, Scotland.
If youīre into this kind of stuff you should take a look at www.andeantravelweb.com/peru/travelogues/gerald-schwartz-02.html Iīm donīt normally believe in past lives (why were all mine in Peru?) or crystals and all that, but Jesus did say somethings that stuck with me, enough to pop into this internet cafe to write it down before I forget anyway.
