China man is not the preferred nomenclature!

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  Kunming, China
Wednesday, October 4, 2006

So I woke up 3 days ago excited like a little "school boy" going to Disney World for the first time. Johnny woke up all "giddy" with the knowledge that he was going to China for the first time! It took a one hour bus ride, a 2 minute walk across a short bridge, 30 minutes passing through customs, and there I was, "The People's Republic of China!" Oh yeah, by the way, MOMMA I AM IN CHINA!!! But little did I know that 2 minute walk across that bridge would bring me, not to just another country, but to another world! They have a completely different mentality then the other Asian countries I visited so far. They dress differently, look differently, act differently and that is before I get to the big differences that I will discuss more in detail later. Oh yes, there will be plenty of interesting things to right about! The biggest difference I have come across so far is that they do not speak a word of English and every single thing is in Mandarin Chinese!?! English has not been an issue at all during my first 4 months in Asia. But her I cannot converse with my neighbor on the bus, read street signs, ask directions, nothing! Combining that with my pitiful grasp of the English language, my useless knowledge of a few bad words in French and Spanish, along with me not knowing a single word of Mandarin, you have yourself an interesting situation in the making!

My first impression of China:

"It is kind of like an old Bruce Lee film without the subtitles, actually, I have yet to see any cool "Kung Fu" action scenes, and now that you mention it,......Bruce Lee." ~Johnny Nomad

I missed my first bus in China (lost $25 buy missing it) so I had to spend the night at the border. I showed up at the bus station just in time for my bus, and much to my confusion everything seemed to be locked up for the evening? I later found out that China is in a different time zone then Vietnam and I was an hour too late for my bus (time zones makes no logical sense to me what so ever!) This was kind of a buzz kill to my excitement! It was my first day in a strange country (a border town at that) with no bus, no idea of where to find a place to stay, and no one to ask. Then along came this "street hustler" who spoke a few words of English. He keep telling me that I should "trust him" because he was the manager of the bus station and it was his duty to help me! Yet, for some reason he was really dirty and smelled of cheap booze? He actually helped me find an overpriced hotel room (which he made a few dollars on of course) and then was trying to convince me to go out and have a "good luck drink" with him (I would guess the "good luck" would mean me buying him a drink?) I told him that I was tired and that I would see him in the morning (I hid when I saw him the next day.) Instead of a "good luck drink" I opted for an evening alone with the Chinese television! I passed on about 4 bad "Jackie Chan" movies then I settled for some Chinese ping-pong action (in Mandarin) which made me smile because it made me think of Forest.

And it goes on...............I spent 25 minutes yesterday trying to explain to my waitress that I wanted the rice and vegetables, but I did not want the "chicken head" for my lunch (I am a vegetarian and I get mad when meat touches my food much less a "chicken head.") This of course attracted a small crowd, but at this point I was so bored from the 9 hours of sitting alone on the bus that I started trying to make new friends with the curious spectators by doing "Pac Man" impersonations with my chopsticks.

When I was a kid I thought there were 2 ways to get to China:

1. A slow boat to China.

2. By digging a hole (every time when I was little and I was digging a hole my mummy would say, "what are you doing digging a hole to China?"

*Here I am 20 something years later in China and not have to do either!

So I grossly miscalculated the weather situation that I am facing ahead of me. I will have to make a big push if I want to see some of the North of China and Mongolia before the gruesome winter weather kicks in. So I am giving myself about the next five weeks to make it to Beijing so I can get a train into Mongolia before it is too late.

An adventure with in an adventure! Come along for the ride it should be fun! ~Johnny Nomad

"When I was in China on the All-American Ping Pong team, I just loved playing ping-pong with my Flexolite ping pong paddle." ~Forrest Gump