Martyrdom, Modesty, and the 14 yr old girl.

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  Pakxe, Lao Peoples Dem Rep
Saturday, August 26, 2006

So I wanted to get a massage. I know it sounds squirlly. That's because, IT IS! But it is only $3 an hour, and it feels SOOOO good! So you LOCK IT UP mister! At this point I had already had a foot and leg massage and a Thai massage. I decided that I wanted to get a full body oil massage. So the day before the big show I did some Recon work. I scoped out a joint that I deemed worthy! The next day when I walked in I was greeted by a pretty Thai girl. I said to myself, "score on for the Nomad team!" Then after a closer look I determined it was not a pretty girl, but in fact, it was a pretty man in disguise. No way was the Nomad going to have a lady boy rub warm lotion all over his naked body. So I made an unapologetic bolt for the door. I was out of there in a sprint like pace.

>>>>A quick break in the action for the only 4 situations where J.Nomad feels "running" is justified: 1. If someone is chasing you 2. If you are involved in a sporting event 3. Exercising "fat girls" 4. If the result of not running is a grown man dressed in women's clothing touching your ass! I see now other reson to ever run! Now back to the show! >>>>

A few minutes later I found a Canadian girl who told me about a lady boy free establishment that she had visited the day before. I walked in the place and gave it a quick look around to make sure there were no lady boys hiding in the corners. It seemed to be OK, so I decided to give it a go. A nice lady brought me upstairs to a private room and gave me a towel. She made a gesture that I determed was, "hey white boy take off your clothes and put this towel on?" I must mention that not a single person in this joint spoke a lick of English. Next walks in a little girl of about 13 or 14 with a bucket of water. She begain to wash my feet. I said no worries she must just be the foot washing girl? I was wrong! She was the massue!?!

Private Nomad thoughts:
"Mr. Nomad you got to get out of here! It is against at least 9 different laws in your country to have a grown naked man and a 14 yr old girl alone in a room! In a second that little girl is going to be massaging your naked bum. If you like it, that makes you a creep. If you do not like it, you are just a fool cheating yourself out of $3! Make a run for the door!!!! Go Go Go.......... Wait a second Nomad, your clothes are on the other side of the room. If you get up to fast you might expose your "winky" to that child! What to do? What to do?............ If you had a cell phone you could call R.Kelly and ask him for his advice. Hey dick head....... you don't know R.Kelly's phone number! How do you get yourself in these sutuations? Most kiddies your age are at work! Not laying naked in the middle of the Laos jungle with 14 year old girl rubing oil on there naked back side. Oh the madness!! RUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!"

I actually never got the confidence to make a run for it. Fortuntly it all worked out for the best. And for you perverts out there wondering, the answer is no! There was no "Happy Ending!" Many of you know I got my first taste of Asia about a year ago in the Middle East(South West Asia)and I plan on ending this trip in Iran. It is crazy to believe this big of a contrast can occur on the same continent. In the Middle East it is uncommon for a man and women to walk down the street together(even if they are married.)Much less be giving members of the opposite sex naked massages. Did I mention she was 14! When I walked out after I was dressed the ladies were giggling. I am not actually sure if I was supposed to have taken my boxers off? Guess I will never now?

Disturbing fact about Laos:
Between the years 1964-1973 over Eastern Laos the US dropped an average of one planeload of bombs every 8 minutes, 24 hours a day, for nine straight years. The operation was conducted by a secret US airforce. The reason given for the bombings was that North Vietnamese soldiers were fleeing across the border into Eastern Laos. By the wars end the bombings amounted to approximately 1.9 mill metric tonnes in all, or over half a ton for every man, woman and child living in Laos. This is makes Laos the most heavily bombed nation per capita in the history of warfare. This cost the US taxpayers around $US 2 million per day. All for what? Innocent people payed the price, and the US lost the war. I am not naive enough to think that we will ever live in a world without wars/fighting. I just cannot understand the reasoning behind it? How can we not learn from our mistakes? It is crazy how history repeats itself, and so quickly. We are supporting the same thing all over again right now Lebanon? Innocent people dying for a cause and a war that they have nothing to do with. I spent time last year in Isreal, Palestine, and Lebanon and it upsets to see it. You would think we would learn?

"Don't wanna be an American idiot. One nation controlled by the media." -Green Day (American Idiot)

One for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for girls, and Four for boys, Five for silver, Six for gold, Seven for a secret never to be told! ~Johnny Nomad

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