To poop or not to poop?
Trip Start
Jun 05, 2006
1
21
94
Trip End
Jul 15, 2007
Kota Bharu,
Malaysia
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I am talking about toilets people! There really needs to be instruction manuals (including pics) for Westerners when it comes down to using these things. Toilets are different through out the world. Tourist joints will usually have the traditional sit down Western type. But if that type of toilet is your "flavor" once you step out side of "tourist land" you are "shit out of luck!" The Asian breed of toilet is pretty straight forward. It's a hole in the ground. Saddle up Amigos cause this is "Cowboy" style! The hole is made in the middle of a porcelain device with foot grips for your feet. You do #1 and #2 in the hole. It is needless to say that shoes are an important part of this process when you are trying to take advantage of the provided handy GI Joe foot grips. No Brittney Spears shoeless port-o-potty action here! The toilet is usually flushed with the bucket of water provided. Toilet paper does not exist in Asian rest rooms. Of course there always is the option to B.Y.O.P.(Bring Your Own Paper.) I am not 100% sure about this, but I do not think that most people use toilet paper? It must come down to the mysterious "hose" on the wall. I am going to assume that the mysterious wiping process has something to do with that hose? Luckily for me I did not mistake the hose for a convenient drinking source to fill my water bottle because of my world-le-ness! I am familiar with a little "torture device" that the French have brought to us all called the "bidet."
I will always remember the first time I saw a "bidet" in Europe I was baffled! What is it? Is it a urinal? Do you use it to wash your shoes? Is a modern day version of the classic "Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine," What is it?......I was bending over it trying to figure out how this odd device worked when I discovered a knob. Like most curious people when I see a knob I want and need to turn it! I ever so gently turned it only to be violently sprayed in the face. I latter found out what the device was used for and I felt violated in 7 different ways! Trust me my friends "AZZ" water in the face is not a moment you easily forget! I wanted to take the time to explain a little about the hardships of living on the road. I mean really does the Pope not shit in the woods? So carry on with your day and may you "poo in peace!"
Yo Ho Ho A Pirates Life For Me! -Johnny Nomad
Comments
Pope shitting in the woods...
It's funny that you mention this because I was just explaining to someone how the 'Pope shitting in the woods is a joke.'