Call up Gary Newman!
Trip Start
Jun 05, 2006
1
18
94
Trip End
Jul 15, 2007
Bangkok,
Thailand
Saturday, June 10, 2006
The streets of Bangkok could be only described as controlled Kaos! There seems to be no pattern to the madness but is seems to work in some unorganized way? The streets are littered with thousands of motorbikes and scooters. Which leads me to my story of the day.
For the sake of the story please insert out of place foreigner here!........... I was crossing the street 2 days ago and out of know where.....WHAM!!! I was hit by a motor bike doing about 30 mph! The 2 Asian men aboard the vessel went flying. By the "grace" of some higher power I nor the flustered Asians were hurt. But needless to say they were upset with me! They were rambling on in broken Thai about something that I should look both ways and "We ride the Right here! We ride the Right here!" For some reason in this country they take after the "Pasty Brits" and drive on the wrong side of the F-ing road? What an inconvience for me! This means I need to scratch the 25 plus years of life training and look the opposite direction when trying to cross the street! I am a danger to myself and others! Oh the absurdity of it all!
While on the topic of traffic violations to ponder. Here is another one for you all. When I was in New York I was amazed by the amount of cars on the streets most of them being Taxis. Also I was impressed at how quiet the streets were. Normally when you have a street full of vehicles of that magnitude it would be nothing but horn blaring madness! I was baffled the first few days asking myself "Johnny Nomad why is this so? Why are the streets so quiet?" Then I had a revelation and looked up only to see "the sign." It read "No honking, $250 fine." I was blown away by this! I immediately thought to myself what if Muhammad friendly our Pakistani taxi driver is feeling "saucy?" I have always been under the understanding that you "HONK if your HORNY!" If friendly Muhammad is taken to court and he explained that he was just feeling "RANDY" and needed to express himself would he pardoned? I am thinking this might be a violation of his "God given civil right as a foreign citizen in our country!" Sometimes you need to ask these questions in life!
Ever since I mentioned the "lactating man tit" I have noticed a lot more then usual daily clicks to my blog. So in true "Johnny Nomad" fashion I will break down my speculations of why I think this is so in pie chart format.
2% are interested in my writing and my journey
6% are not sure why either they waste there time comming back to this site
10% are entertained with my "gross over usage of quotation marks"
16% are bored at work and have already checked there Hotmail 7 times
21% want to see me have a mental break down
45% of you are sublimely hoping that I get anally abused by a "Thai lady boy man whore"
I would like to believe that I have an interesting life of some sort? Can some one with a really crappy- boring life send me and e-mail so we could compare and contrast!I am heading down South tonight in the direction of Malaysia. Gonna do the island thing for a few weeks before I cross the boarder.
KEEP IT REAL PEOPLE -Johnny Nomad
Comments
Hi :)
You are so witty. Nice meeting you yesterday :)
ps: 'like looking at your own poop'
That is funny.. :)