Vermont's finest. ...and not so finest.

  Burlington, Vermont, United States
Thursday, October 11, 2007

Burlington was in perfect Joe and Frannie style. In search of all things "worlds largest" we arrived at the worlds largest filing cabinet. Thank god the wind wasn't blowing too hard when we arrived or this monster might have fallen right on our. Rusted and worn, the filing cabinet is a welders dream. 2 drawer file cabinets stacked one on top of the other and held together by welding them together at the seams, this home to organized birds and probably some mice is something to definitely check out when visiting Burlington. Heading toward the waterfront, we also took time to pay homage to Burlington's monkeys. Silhouettes of something right out of the Wizard of Oz, this flying monkey cast iron figures are a little creepy looking but only add charm to the old Union Station.  Burlington we learned quickly has a lot to offer and we were taken by all the cool little shops, stops, and restaurants along the way.  Despite already having hot dogs on the ferry, we couldn't resist a stop at Al's French Frys. Listed in our book of 1,000 places to visit before you die, Al's did not disappoint in the French fry department. Served extra crispy and with brown gravy this place serves fries all day and night. We couldn't leave without our fries, an order of mac and cheese and a cheeseburger for good measure. Settling all the greasy food what better to accompany the days indulgences but with a cold beer? Magic Hat Brewing Company is a microbrew that has made its way down the east coast. We have seen them at food shows, in beer stores, and had read about them thanks to the compulsive travel brochure collecting of Joe. The brewery happens to be in Burlington so we decided to check it out.  One of our favorite things to do while on vacation is definitely visit wineries and breweries. This one gets the award for most funky, most merchandised, and most unusual micro brew that we have ever seen. Dark and with the likeness of entering a haunted house tour, the low lighting and industrial feel to the tasting room was unusual. The t-shirts, pint glasses, stickers, hoodies, and other beer related items that were all for sale almost got in the way of the actual beer tasting bar that was tucked into the back of the dark room. With only one guy manning the tasting bar, it was hard to really learn anything about the beers other than whether you liked them or you didn't. It didn't help that the kids was either stoned, drunk, or just had a terrible speech impediment (I vote for option number one by the way) either that we really couldn't get a lot from him on the composition, ingredients, or hell, even the names of the beers we were tasting. All in all though we learned that Magic Hat probably has to merchandise the crap out of their beer names and titles with funky tap handles and amazing creativity because their beers range from bland to mediocre. Of the 10 or so varieties we sampled, the Odd Notion brew was the only palatable one. Magic Hat does incredibly well though and the room was loaded with tasters, tourers, and buyers. I imagine that a company like Magic Hat falls into the likeness of a Starbucks. It doesn't really matter how bad it tastes, as long as you can convince people that it tastes good, they will believe it does. Regardless of our dislike for the brewery, we did purchase a growler of the Odd Notion and headed out on our way to a much more desirable indulgence, chocolate.
 
The Lake Champlain Chocolate Company makes and distributes dark and milk chocolate from its location in Burlington. Upon our arrival we were inundated with tons of tasty truffles, turtles, and other tasty temptations. I settled on a cup of coffee and a cup of mocha chip chocolate ice cream while Joe chose a sampling of truffles to go. We arrived just in time to leave before the tour bus from the nearby retirement community pulled in and unloaded. 
 
We headed out of Burlington for the Barre area of Vermont. The Barre area, southeast of Burlington homes one of the world's largest granite quarries. As one of our planned stops along the way, we were excited about seeing the quarry and the area. Rainy weather moved in as the afternoon turned to dusk and we arrived in Barre. Despite getting late, we sought out the Hope Cemetery. The cemetery is a favorite for locals and visitors of the area because of the unique, elaborate, and original headstone design. The granite headstones are ornately displayed throughout the graveyard reminding visitors of the craftsmanship and creativity of the Rock of Ages granite headstone factory.  Airplanes, race cars, soccer balls, and real life sculptures of the deceased are only some of the headstones to be seen while driving through the Hope Cemetery.
As night fall came the rain began to fall harder. We finished up at the Hope and decided to find a place to call home for the night. Perhaps the only thing harder than finding a room in Barre or Montpelier Vermont on a rainy Thursday night would be building a shelter of our own by ourselves out of the granite rocks that line the highway.  We started simple with the AAA recommended locations and chain locations found in every incorporated town. After striking out one after another, we moved on to Inns and Bed and Breakfasts. We did find one place that had a room but at almost $130.00, we would have slept in the truck before we chalked that up for a night in Barre. We drove back and forth up and down the highway. We called information, entered every possible option into our GPS awaiting directions and locations from the Garmin, and tried in vain over and over to find a room in town. We were officially stranded, or so we thought. The rain and dark, hard to navigate local roads did nothing to help our cause and after 10 plus denials, we stopped in on our last option at the Vermonter. If you need a visual of a hotel that we only considered after every single other option in a 30 mile radius I have two words "Norman Bates." The good news about the Vermonter was that we were not the only people in town pining for a room so the clientele was surprisingly normal. Normal was not how I would describe the creep at the "front desk" though. We'll call him Norman. I walked in to the lobby exhausted by our search and asked if there were rooms available. Norman told me that there were no more non smoking rooms but he did have smoking rooms available. Dejected, I turned around and left Norman to the two older ladies waiting behind me with the same question. When I returned to the car, Joe, in obvious desperation, said, "Let's check out the smoking room." I went back into the lobby in time to hear Norman give away his last nonsmoking room to the two antique shoppers who were just standing behind me in line. Instantly infuriated, I held my tongue and my temper as I watched him escort the ladies to the room that should have been ours. When Norman returned my New England hospitality attitude completely turned and I got my New Jersey on right away. After berating him for giving away the room that I had just asked for and having Norman explain that he didn't understand my original request for a room that was non-smoking I explained to him in words that he would understand that I wanted a room, period. He showed me and a nice gentleman behind me a smoking room that we both begrudgingly accepted as our resting place for the night. We got the second to last room and he took the last one. Norman checked us in with a key and our remote control privileges and we walked into room 16 at the Bates Motel. The room was actually not the horror that I would have accepted but the musty smell and smoke make the Villa Motel in Keeseville the Ritz. We only brought in what we needed knowing our belongings would smell like a night out at the bar in the morning. Knowing that we had a place to sleep, we could now concentrate on food. We dropped the few things we brought in and headed straight out for pizza. The meal and the beer were comforting and delicious and after a quick stop at the grocery store for a can of Oust air sanitizer we headed back to our hell hole, in mean hotel.  Joe fogged the room and the Oust actually did wonders for the smell in the room. We were able to fall asleep quickly and enjoyed a simple and relatively quiet night's sleep