Jessamyjoy's travel blogs:
- Senegal 2007
- Two months translating, interpreting and... 2005
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Last entry from Benin
Entry 28 of 33 | show all | print this entry |
Six Things a Westerner (or this one anyway) Would Never Consider Doing Outside of Africa [and a brief attempt to explain the logic, or lack thereof, behind them] (Note: this list was intended to be at least four points longer in true David Letterman style, but the unfortunate timing of my second bout of malaria prevents me from spending too much time in front of this dizzying screen.)
***Ask a taxi driver with five other passengers to stop so you can jump out and, despite the disconcerting lack of trees, go to the bathroom next to the road. [Where else you gonna go?]
***Intentionally toss a gum wrapper, plastic sack, paper receipt or any other litter out the car window. [It will end up there anyway as garbage that's intended to be burned usually drifts away in the wind and settles in permanence along roads, between shacks, in goats' mouths regardless of efforts to throw it "away" as if it had somewhere else to go.]
***Spend an entire wonderfully wind-blown joyous motorcycle ride adjusting their skirt.
[(A) Why would you wear a skirt on a motorcycle? (B) If you did, you'd want to be modest and have your knees and the back of your legs covered by it-the skirt, not the motorcycle.]
***Choose to take an ice cold shower first thing in the morning, ignoring the luxurious timed hot water heater within easy reach and in absence of a power outage. [It's that hot.]
***Haggle from 100 francs down to 75 francs for a ride across town (20 cents down to 15-I kid you not). [When in Rome...don't let the Romans take advantage of you, and especially don't mess with the greater economy by paying exorbitant prices for the color of your skin. Whether you can afford them or not has little or nothing to do with it.]
***Ask to have deep fat fried food put back into the deep frying fat for a second coating of artery-blocking joy. [To kill any fabulous invisible living creatures such as those that become intestinal parasites which can ruin any day.]
The More Serious and Shorter List of Three Things a Westerner Imagines an African Would Never Consider Doing Outside or Inside of Africa [and a brief attempt to explain the logic, or lack thereof, behind them]
***Ask an unexpected visitor to come another time because they are in the middle of dinner/currently have guests/are sick in bed with malaria/are busy doing anything else/have just suddenly gone blind because aliens landed in the field and are abducting the cows of their livelihood one by one with an extremely bright beam/etc. [Hospitality is paramount and not to be taken lightly.]
***Arrive early. [No one else will be there yet anyway, why not wait and give everyone else time to get there?]
***Turn away a request for a loan of money or other possession. [Immediate needs are all that matter because immediate needs are the only true needs. "Long term" is a mere speculation, so why allow someone to go without medicine or food or a car to visit their family in favor of "saving" the money for a distant house payment or project that you may not be around to pay or accomplish or out of worry that your possession will be damaged or lost? If you have something, you can share it. To not share would not only be selfish but would take out a link in the social chain of providing for each other's needs. What's more, when you have a need in the future, your kind deed will be remembered and returned. But in order for the system to work, everyone participates-especially those who have more money or possessions to share. (Explaining why Westerners get so many requests.]
So, with four days left in Benin I had hoped to write an exciting and laugh-inducing entry that would wrap everything up nicely for all of us. This may still come, but it will be after I've been home for a few weeks and had a good chance to catch my breath. This week has been difficult in many senses. I have actually been quite sick this time around, as my first malaria treatment was not effective and the second test showed up with a higher number (being worse). US doctors would start with quinine, but there are so many other treatments here it's sort of a last resort. Fiona and I debated forever and, bless her heart, she even researched on the internet to make sure, because we both knew the serious side-effects that would accompany this treatment during my last week in Benin. But we decided to go with quinine and we decided to trust all of our resources and not the advice of every single African-so I took twice the dose they take here. This treatment is seven days and the following side-effects are all day, every day. So, my ears have been plugged and ringing to the point where I can hardly hear and can only stand to hear one thing at a time-too much noise contributes to my headache. I am much dizzier, all the time, than I was from the malaria alone, to the point where I literally have trouble walking straight. I feel weaker than I've ever imagined and must always have a wall, the edge of a desk or something to lean on in the unfortunate absence of a chair to hold me up. I have sudden, coming and going cold sweats that literally instantaneously bead my forehead, yesterday my hands were trembling. Nausea seems unworthy mentioning and despite being obviously quite tired after all of this, I am unable to sleep at night because my ears are ringing so and the dizziness doesn't change when I lay down. These things being said, these are completely normal symptoms. The doxycycline in my system probably prevented me from getting a much worse malaria, but it also meant that I needed a stronger drug to kill the malaria that I have actually had for about a month now.
However, what I just described has actually been the least of my concerns. Because of this I have not only missed most of the work day all week, I've missed morning prayer with my coworkers, who, everyday when I finally stumble around, tell me that didn't forget to pray for me. Everyone I see asks how I'm doing and has such an air of sympathy and regret that I don't really even know how to respond. Today some friends literally looked heartbroken at the thought that I or anyone at home would keep a negative memory of Africa because I was sick here. That killed me. I'm horrible at letting people take care of me and even worse at accepting help or quitting something I started...I've had to let multiple and important projects go because I physically wasn't able to sit in front of the computer for the hours they would have taken. But Dorothé puts on the most fatherly serious face and sends me home anytime I come into the office and Fiona, despite the fact that she herself just recovered and her husband and son most likely just got quite sick from malaria, has let me pitch up in her spare bedroom and gone completely out of her way to take absolute care of me with a patience that knows no end.
The worst is that my dear friends Pastor Daniel and Dorothé had both planned to invite me to their homes for a meal with their families which now won't happen, people have been stopping by my house at 8 PM to find it dark because I'm already trying futilely to sleep at Fiona's...the last week which should be full of last minute shopping and greeting, dinners out and guests in the house, promises to write and laughing at memories from the two months that went by so fast...has been full of the distant sound of the muffled fan as I lay on my bed in my dark room just hoping this treatment works so my first week home which is packed to the minute, won't be like my last week here, which should have been...
Now I've gone and depressed myself. But I hadn't taken time to realize how disappointing this turn of events is. Everyone always says, "Oh you'll be back." But Benin is really, really far from California and as much as a piece of my heart will always be here...I can only pray that people are able to understand how much they've meant to me and how much I loved every second of the time I spent in Africa. Two months was so unbelievably short and insufficient. Everyone commented on how quickly I adapted, and I really did. In the office it was if I'd been here all along. When people call me Madame la Directrice I kinda feel like I am 'cause I learned enough to fill in the gap when the real director left! I jumped in the teasing with the best of them and learned a bit of several languages. I ate the food without a flinch, shivered when the temperature hit the 70s. Most of all I was able to form real relationships because there was no language barrier, like there is for the majority of missionaries. I didn't meet a single person who didn't comment on how surprising it was to meet a non-French person (especially an American) who spoke so well and that opened so many doors that I am infinitely grateful for. Outside the compound though, it was only a couple weeks ago that I started to be really comfortable and excited with wandering around town alone. I am going to miss moto taxis like you wouldn't believe!
There are so many things I'm going to miss. And as much as it breaks my heart that I was so sick this last week and that it meant me missing a lot of things, I can accept it. I don't regret for an instant any of this misery. I'm sad that it meant missing thanking people for their unforgettable hospitality. I'm sad that this will be in the forefront of my mind where happier memories should be just for the mere fact that it happened last and lasted so long. I'm sad that you all have to read this and make those sympathetic faces I know you are making and I'm sure some of you are even crying (you know who you are!). But my gratitude and the overwhelming sense of how much God loves me and takes care of me, individually, with the same perfect care that he takes care of all of his children, far surpass any of the regret or sadness. What an opportunity I have had-to travel across the world and step into a whole different universe. I've gotten to eat foods whose names I couldn't pronounce made from ingredients I've never heard of. I've gotten to wave like a queen as everyone shouts when I walk by. I've gotten to be the voices of a doctor and her worried patients when they don't speak the same language. I've gotten to be part of forging a stronger relationship between the churches of Benin and the mission as they minister to the needs of the people. I've gotten to clash with the best of them in my gorgeously colored fabrics and randomly-tied pagne on my head. I've gotten to experience the most real part of life in Africa-fighting disease and going on with life. It was only two months. I could spend a lifetime learning just one culture of the thousands that exist everywhere. I'm blown away at the chances I've had to experience a few already. There's no expressing my gratitude for every second of the past two months.
But to those of you who helped me get here, thank you. Merci. E na chè nous wè.
"Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or imagine, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory and praise forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
"Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." Psalm 103:1-5
I'll see you on the other side of the ocean.
Latest Comments (4)
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Wow!! (reply)
Aug 1, 2005 02:14 EST by cruzanii
I admire the amazing journey you have made and all the compassion you have that comes through the very well written travel log you have made. Bless you and I can't wait to see you healthy and well when you get back!! Gros bisous et bonne chance avec la reste de ton sejour, :)Courtney
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I miss you!!! (reply)
Jul 30, 2005 07:11 EST by shasan
Beautifully written and well said. Damn, it's amazing how much mutual impact has been made between you and the people you encountered on this trip. I can't wait to talk about it and compare the 'africa' you know to the one I know. Well, the one I know is so vastly different...Egypt vs. Nigeria...
Anyway, I am SO proud of you and SO blessed to have you as a best friend. Don't for a moment ... show all
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How... (reply)
Jul 29, 2005 18:10 EST by jeff_west2000
How on earth...and what did I ever do to get a woman like you....? 8..U )
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Awesome List (reply)
Jul 29, 2005 11:31 EST by natej30
Jess,
I gotta say it sounds like you've learned so much in such a little time. You probably learned more the first 24 hours than any text book or online article could have taught you. You probably read about malaria in a book or article, but who thought you'd get to experience it first hand! What an honor! Who in America, or any other predominantly 'white' country, could say that. I'm looking ... show all
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