Tibet Tibet Tibet....

Trip Start Feb 25, 2004
Trip End Ongoing

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Thursday, April 29, 2004

Firstly, lets get the crap jokes out of the way.......

Did you know that there are many species of antelope here but only '7 deers in tibet?'

On my birthday I was planning to indulge in '7 beers in tibet' but in the end shed '7 tears in tibet (read on for explanation)

The vehicles here are very advanced and most cars have '7 gears in tibet'

I am a practicing hetrosexual male but may have my first gay experience and have '7 queers in Tibet'

Secondly, there is an alteration to my last entry...... Substitute Amy (american girl) for Brendan - Irish lad. Brendan is in his early 20's, good looking lad whose really laid back - practically horizontal! So now we have 5 lads and 2 girls - I can handle the competition!!!!

It was the 23rd April, 2004...... Tomorrow we were going to Tibet and the day after was my 27th birthday........

Mine and garys bedroom, Kathmandu, Nepal..

"you hungry?" called Gary from the bedroom. I was just finishing in the shower. The time was about 1pm and I hadn't eaten yet so was quite peckish. "What's the menu like?" I called back. "pretty standard really mate". I joined him, briefly looked over it and my gaze landed on chicken curry. Pretty safe option i thought..... 'I'll go for the chicken curry" i said. It was a decision I was to regret for the next 72 hours........

15 minutes later a steaming hot small pot of chicken curry minus rice arrived. It only cost 50p so I wasn't too bothered. It tasted good too, and afterwards I went for a wander in Thamel district of Kathmandu on my own and lost myself in my own little world and blew away a few cobwebs. At about 6 o'clock we confirmed that our visas were sorted for Tibet. Gary broke into a slight sweat as the company we were going with had temporarily lost his passport.... 'no problem sir' was their reasoning..... 'not for you mate!' Anyway, passport arrived and that's when I felt the first movement!!! A fart that wasn't as dry as I'd have liked it to be. I quickly made my excuses, purchased a very expensive toilet roll (he could obviously see I was in no position to negociate) and made my way as quickly as possible to my room to sit on the 'thrown' For the next 24 hours the world fell out of my arse! Any liquid I drank quickly decided that it would prefer to join its friends at the bottom of our toilet!! initially I would describe the consistancy of my 'stool' as that of branston pickle but as time went on I swear it was just liquid! I could have shat through the eye of the tiniest needle! I needed my mum to pat my sweating brow and say 'everythings going to be alright dear' but that wasn't an option. Instead, I had a near 30 something scottish guy who, although was truely sympathetic and running around getting me water etc, was no mum substitute. I was beginning to think that I may have to boycott Tibet as the 5 day bus journey would be too much. After a night of broken sleep I awoke at 5am..... I felt a bit better so decided to pack up sufficient kit and go to the bus station to catch the 6am bus to Tibet. The 4 minute walk to the departure point completely took it out of me and I just fell in a heap when I arrived there. This should have told me that I was too unwell to continue but the thought of losing US$170 was too much..... plus there were a few reasonable looking fillies at the bus stop!

4 hours out of Kathmandu and we arrived at the Nepal/Tibet border. It was cold and raining. Heavily. The weather was not the only thing that was wet..... despite the 4 imodiums I'd had there was a dampness in my pants that was distinctly 'chicken curry'!! Managing to not give in to gravity we crossed the border unscathed, pants included!

I will always remember my 27th birthday. From around my 16th birthday I'd always managed to get stupidly pissed and to somehow kop off with a young attractive lady - well, at 1am they looked ok! However, the spell was broken on the 25th April, 2004....... I was awoken by 'the gang' who, after singing me happy birthday went for breakie. I was still quite tender but managed an omlette and some bread. On the bus Del orchestrated a happy birthday sing along and I was presented with a bottle of whiskey and a card made by Helen and signed by everyone. I was genuinelly touched by the efforts that everyone had gone to so THANK YOU GUYS!!!! There are many crap ways to spend your birthday, and I'm not moaning about the company I was keeping at all, but sitting on a bus for over 10 hours, on a very bumpy road, getting altitute sickness (5,200 metres high), stomach cramps and feeling the desire to shit myself for the entire day must rank amongst the worst ways ever! I have one story of a comical nature which occured on my very birthday. Please read on.......

'i need a shit' I said to Corina. She threw me a half sympathetic half disgusted look. Ordinarilly, requiring the toilet was not a problem, even if it was a sqaut toilet. However, we were on day 2 of the 5 day journey and had stopped in the middle of nowhere! I ventured out of my seat, battled through the sea of kids wanting all sorts of sweets, pens and money and wandered out of the bus to a secluded spot. I found a huge rock and lowered my trousers (still going commando!). I then decided that I didn't want to risk a 'splashing' incident and so removed them entirely! I secured them under a reasonably weighted rock (very windy up there), removed a toilet roll that my mother gave me over a month ago in the UK (you become very economical with things when they're in short supply) and adopted the position...... for the first time that day i 'relaxed'!!! I was just starting to enjoy the view when, and i don't know how, but the rock securing my trousers became dislodged and rolled off them.... I could only look in horror as my trousers caught the wind and literally took off whilst I was mid turd! A very brief urgent wiping later and I was legging it after them!(had boots on). It must have been a comical sight and god was certainly looking down on me as they went straight into a huge rock and lost all momentum. I however, was still running at full Linford Christie speed, half naked after them! If they'd have gone 5 metres more I'd have been in full view of 25 people from the bus. I quickly donned them and coolly made my way back. 'How was your shit'? enquired a smirking gary.... ' you know... same old same old' i replied.

The days that followed saw me lose weight and eat a diet of imodium and drinking flat coke. Helen acted as my mum, giving me sympathy and offering me food and water. Everyone rallied round and in between recovering I had the odd excursion. One of them was with Helen and Gary to a castle and a monestry but I'll mention that day in my next entry as I want to give names of places etc.

As we neared Lhasa a cheer echoed around the bus as, for the first time since arriving in Tibet, we were on a flat well laid road! Less than an hour and we'd arrived at the drop off point. Gary had already purchased a Tibet lonely planet and skillfully weaved his way through the crowds of begging children and rubbish and led us to our hotel. We all half ran after him. I'd shared a room with Gazza for the last 8 nights and it was time for a quick change. For the poultry sum of 2 pounds a night each myself, Brendan, Del and Corrina booked into a 4 bedder.

Words can't really properly describe how much of a culture shock it truely is to be in Tibet, despite having been in Nepal for nearly a month. The people always smile and religion is without a doubt, the biggest thing in everyone's life over here. So glad I'm here and so glad I'm spending my time here with people who have, in a short space of time, become very good friends of mine....
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