Ozy Ozy Ozy

  Perth, Australia
Saturday, February 16, 2008

Hi all, sorry it's been so long.

TAUPO
Taupo, where i wrote my last blog entry seems an age ago now. So much has happened, so many stories to tell you so make your self comfy! this could take a while!

My last day in Taupo was successful with the Tongario Crossing, a huge lengthy top rated trek in NZ across a volcano that's due to erupt any moment. Amazing place and a long long day but well worth it.

After the trek, we treated ourselves to a fine restaurant called Pizza Hut. Only joking, but we did have pizza....in a restaurant. Anyways, we were all sat at the table, admiring our bottle, yes bottle of fine wine (instead of the usual cheap box of wine otherwise known as Goon - Silver pillow to the Indigenous locals) when i started to feel a bit giddy. I just assumed dehydration from the trek and a little wine had sent me a bit wobbly. Well, it turns out i was experiencing a 6.8 Richter scale earth quake!! Luckily the epicentre was a couple hundred kms away and my pizza got eaten without added concrete dust.

So the next day, i enjoyed a mini airplane flight to Auckland in order to catch my flight to Melbourne. This flight was the best value 'extreme sport' i did in New Zealand! A little 20 seater plane, where the pilot, yes the pilot does the safety briefing. "and wrap it round like sooo, and tie a little knot to the side." Anyway, lets just say turbulence in a 20 seater is a whole different story and i was pleased to live another day and was understandably skeptical about getting on a jumbo the very next morning.

MELBOURNE
Next stop Melbourne and no visit is complete without a Neighbours tour on Chrimbo eve. Yes, even if you do choose it over the Great Ocean Road!! (there was a reason, the weather was a bit, you know, rubbish and we decided to get wet in Ramsey Street rather than the coast) Any of you would have done the same surely!?

So the bus takes us to Edinsborough High School of the first stop and when the tourist guide said don't expect to much, he wasn't joking. It turns out to be a Language school for illegal immigrants or something along those lines. "Keep your bags close to you and don't give change to the locals." What a great day this was turning out to be.

In the evening, i was very excited about meeting Libby, my first TV sweet heart, only to met her dad instead 'Dr Carl Kennedy'. Anyway, he was really funny and made the night a good one. Him and his band started playing typical well known songs by the Killers, etc which everyone had to scream along to, including Kate and I.

CHRISTMAS
Christmas day was hangover day. But we did manage to get ourselves to Phillip Island on another over priced tour to witness hundreds of penguins parade from the sea to their nests just behind the beach. These things were very cute and only about 30cm tall and made Christmas day for us. Christmas dinner was a disappointment though, two very cheap sausages (i assume made from dingos or similar) wrapped in a slice of the cheapest 'Farmstores' type bread (or dough). To finish it off, everyone knows you need Heinz ketchup, surely that is basic, but no we was treated to some kind off tomato syrup. yum yum!

Blimey this really is going to be a long one, sorry peeps.

Next stop Canberra. Gov't buildings, not much to see and nothing to do.

Next Stop Sydney. Everything to see and everything to do.

SYDNEY
The first view you get of the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge is something you never forget. You see it on tele and in magazines but it's just something else. So grand and huge and beautiful. That was a special moment.

So after spending a day or so at the beaches including the famous Bondi Beach, we climbed the Harbour Bridge. On New Year's Eve we settled within meters of the Opera House to see the fireworks which really were amazing, albeit, after waiting for 8 hours or so to beat the queues.

Then a personal achievement arrived in the form of finishing my first ever book, yes right to the very last page! I have read many a book in my 28 years but never have i been so dedicated to get to the end. I'm now just finishing my third book and can honestly say, i really do not see the appeal of reading books. Yes it's a story and yes there are funny and even exiting parts but generally, 350 pages is a lot of reading for three lol's! So i've decided i'm a cinema man, films are definitely the way to go. Anyway......

One day we catched a ferry to a pretty little bay on the outskirts of Sydney called Watsons Bay. They had a nice small little swimmers section which was all netted off to stop those stingers and sharks. So after bathing for most of the day, we realised that most people were heading through the high street and not necessarily coming to the small beach that we were on. We decided to investigate. We walked through the high street and came to the proper beach. Blimey, this beach was huge! The surf was 20ft high and people were not allowed in the water because of the dangerous surf and rips. This would explain why we were the only 20 somethings in the 'family' beach where our day started out. Silly billies.

We headed to Blue mountains, saw some koalas and kangaroos. Spent a day at the Horse races. Met up with Nina (Friend from Bromley who is also travelling) for some crazy dance moves and met up with Dave, a chap i met in the legendary Taupo, NZ.

I'd arranged to meet Dave in Sydney and to travel up the east coast to Cairns with him. He's a 30 year old ex Marketing Manager at Amazon.com and comes from Reading. Great guy, really good company and we got on so well.

I was time to say good bye to Kate and we had a nice meal at Darling Harbour, a beautiful part of Sydney and discussed our relationship at length. I wont bore you all with the detail but it was clear something was not right over the 2/3 weeks we had spent together and she left with us both feeling miserable. We then decided to break up very soon after.

So now i was on the camera Nr 3! yes cameras do not like sand, cameras do not like go-karts, cameras do not like soft cases, cameras do not like water and they don't like being dropped from more than meter! Learn from my mistakes and save yourselves a fortune.

As we travelled up the coast (Dave and I) we met a girl from New York, Nicole. She was pretty and there was an attraction between us but this was the funny bit : ) We went on a tandem sea kayak together and had to get over the surf to where to dolphins were. Now if any of you have been on the ferry across the English Channel to France, you know what i'm talking about. Nicole, being all sweet, face of make up running all over her face decided to get sea sick and coated out bright yellow kayak with a multi-coloured rough render....carrots and all. Poor thing.

Then on the way in, we were told to 'catch a wave' like surfers do. Now we waited and waited and the instructor shouted "paddle, paddle now!" so we really gave it some and caught this huge wave, another 20ft at least but we paddled a little too hard and got flipped not side ways, but back to front! I was launched from my kayak as was Nicole and luckily my landing spot was just past hers. Just before i was submerged, she was screaming and i could hear people shout on the beach. Then with the spin of that wave i was stuck under water for a few seconds having no idea what way was up! Turns out the instructor reckoned that it was the worst 'wipe out' he had seen from a kayak! Funny days.

On the beach, Nicole, in a total mess after that and still felling rough. I brushed her hair away from her neck to see if she was ok except one hair got left behind, so i tried again, ditto. That hair, the 2 inch monster was attached to her chin, poor thing. No i know we all have hairs in places we shouldn't but there was no excuse for this one, even if you are travelling!! : )  I'd like to formally apologise to Nicole for this but it really is worth the laugh i hope you agree.

EAST COAST TO CAIRNS
Onwards and upwards, Dave and I headed up the East coast towards Brisbane and then to Cairns stopping a various places on route.

FRASER ISLAND AND WHITSUNDAYS
Fraser Island is the next talking point. I turned out to become a bit of a legend on this 3 days 4 x 4 trip. There was 2 groups of 8, consisting of mostly English, Swedes and a few others.

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Why did i become a legend, we i used my brother's ability to make people laugh with the most stupid tricks and joke ever.

1. What do you call a miserable pig? Saddam.   Please tell me you get it. Stuff of legends or Christmas crackers?

2. Then the pretend attack in the lake! sooo funny and works every time, just go underwater, scream a little and wake around like your life depends on it.

3. A bit crude i know but i got a laugh. One of the girls was complaining about always getting sand in places you don't want to get sand. So i asked her have you ever read the book, Sex on the Beach by the Author Sandy Flaps. Everyone was in stitches even if i do say so myself.

4. No so funny but everyone else laughed at my expense. Whilst in the lake, i was playing fetch with the lads with a  tennis ball and i was getting progressively further out into the lake and they threw the ball further and further (gits) only for me to realise that leaches preferred the deeper water and my feet were getting sucked on left, right and centre, so i quickly came to shallow waters to the find little fish nibbling on my feet. Now there was a reason for this. Because of the rubbish hostels, i had picked up Athlete's foot (or fungal growth as we liked to call it) and my feet were flaking away as they do, so the little fishes was actually eating my feet! talk about turning the food chain around! I'm pleased to say that the foot thing has cleared now.

5. No, i didn't lower myself to using the two cows in a field joke.

6. Savage, was our new word. Named after the condoms called 'Savage Bliss'. Really romantic that one, bloody Ozys. We even found a machine that had been modified by the locals and read (see photos on Facebook) "New and Exciting, Arouse your lover's ass with Savage Bliss" I think the original read passion not ass. So funny. 

7. The group decided that Dave should have a nickname and the best of the bunch was Camp David (as we were camping as well) and Daffyd (from little Britain).

Something that i do like about Oz, is that everyone is so upfront and say exactly what they thing is the most straightforward way possible. With the cricket scandal between Oz and Indian a few weeks ago, the head line on the newspaper read "Turbonated". Politically correct? They really couldn't give a *.

So driving around Fraser Island, a sand island in a 4 x 4 with 8 people. I stalled at the first soft sand i hit and proceeded to dig deeper and deeper into the hole. Once we were on our way (When one of the Swede's stared to drive) we were motoring really quickly. The biggest rule giving to us by the hire company was stay away from salt water, or a $1000 fine. So being very careful as Swede's are we are travelling at 100km/hr on a beach as the tide goes out. Except for one wave which completely swamped the car in salt water. Next rule from the hire company, don't try to wash the salt off, we will notice, or a $1000 fine. So what do we do, Swede gets the idea to drive into a lake! Well, ok, slight exaggeration there but we went though the fresh water stream (to wash the engine) and then it rained for an hour sorting (get it?? salting) the car out and no fines for us. The other group did get fined though. Yep a $1000 but the Irish lad done a bit of negotiating and managed to get away with giving the inspector 6 bottles of beer!! How the bugger!!?? so that cost about er $24! Luck of the Irish, he'd make a good surveyor.

Sailing 3 days on the Whitsunday Islands was a bit of a sober affair compared to Fraser Island. Very much amid couples seeking a quiet relax affair except for the "drinking out of a snorkel with a funnel attached to the top" competition. Not a proud moment but you gotta join in eh.

One highlight was that i wanted to try out scuba diving. Now i was the only non qualified one, everyone else had their PADI open water under their belt except for me. So rather than doing a separate trip just for me, i ended up joining the others after 3 minutes of training and going 15mtrs under water! Had a couple of hairy moments but i'm still here writing this.

By this stage, Dave and I were fed up with 14 hour bus journeys and our last one got us to Magnetic Island, a dive. (not scuba dive). So we decided to play 'silly buggers'. We spent the day taking silly photos of each other in different poses. It didn't kill the whole day but thankfully got rid of half of it.

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CAIRNS
Lots of indigenous people here which was interesting, generally they are poor and looked down on by the Ozys walking the streets, but we still had a laugh. We were running as the rain poured one night and came to a junction, i held my hand out in front of Dave as if a car was coming and shuffled my feet as you do. And i laughed, Dave completely fell for it and filled his pants as he thought he was going to get run over.

The best thing about Cairns is the Barrier Reef. I thought it was going to be one of those things that is over rated but it really is special. To think that it is bigger than the UK aswell..Amazing. Oh, shark encounter! i nearly forgot, most of you have heard but a 5ft shark that looks just like jaws came swimming past leaving me filling my pants, or 'boardies'. Also lots of turtles which were really cool.

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So, end of an era, Dave was left behind and i was moving on to Perth so we had one last night out in Cairns in the Watershed. Only i stood Dave up and danced the night away with a Swedish girl. Sorry Dave. Although i am making up for it, Dave is planning on proposing to his girlfriend next week when they come to Perth so we have been organising ways to get it sorted. I'll be his wing man and sort out the strawberrys and champagne, etc all at the right place at the right time.

You think you're bored of reading this yet? Its taken me 3 hours so far to type the bloody thing.

PERTH
So in Perth i met up with another friend Sonal who i met in New Zealand. We decided to hire a car and go camping around the South West of Oz, down to Margeret River and across to Albany. This was a great week, we saw more dolphins, when wine, cheese and chocolate tasting, visited lake caves, climbed the tallest tree in the Kerri forest (60mtrs high) using metal rods resined into the tree. Yes some were loose! Witnessed a kangaroo crossing the road as we were driving, witnessed several kangaroos that tried to cross the road, but were not quite quick enough. Amazing sunsets, amazing coastlines, rocks that look like dogs, elephants and natural bridges,etc.

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We then climbed up Mount Bluff Knoll in the Stirling ranges, got a speeding ticket (Sonal not me, haha) then returned to Freemantle, near Perth. I spent the evening swimming in the sea watching the sunset and dolphins came and swam with me. That has to be one of the highlights and didn't cost a dollar.

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So, i'm back in Perth now for one more week and leave for Bali on the 23rd (early) and hopefully plan to do my scuba diving training in Bali.

Am having a great time still, so many experiences of a lifetime all crammed into a few months. Unreal.

Has been hard going recently as have struggled to get accommodation sorted as its so busy here, but am all up to speed again now.

Hope you've enjoyed the read, sorry for the length.

Until next time....