Viva España! Best and Worst of Spain Awards!
Trip Start
Mar 08, 2008
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27
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Trip End
Oct 02, 2008
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Seville,
Andalusia,
Spain and Canary Islands
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The first inaugural Best and Worst of Spain Awards!
You see there are many things the Spanish do well......and a whole lot ...........well........that they just do appallingly!
ok here we go.......
POISON TAPAS -
There was fierce competition for this prize with each city creating poisonous marvels to decimate our bowels, and don´t think we´re soft or something..........we´d just come from the fleapits of India so we were in pretty good irongut form............but clearly not good enough for an environment where residents have the stomachs of vultures. Literally our first meal in Spain left us riding the Porcelain Express for days.........and that just sucks.........being in one of the great cities of the world and having to.............ok i won´t go there........so anyhoo First prize to Barcelona............commendations to all other cities.
But not all Spanish food is bad. In fact their Jamon, Salchichon, Chorizo and all the other curiously named cured meats are good..........in fact they are sacrilicious.............although they do have the tendency to turn you into a factory of noxious gas..........so hazar the Spanish Sausage! First prize Barcelona.
Barça seems to be sweeping the awards at the moment............so let´s give them another one............Worst Kebab EVER!............I don´t even want to talk about this one............so I´ll just say one thing .......don´t ever and i mean ever buy a kebab on La Rambla...........ever..........no matter what state of exhaustion you are in.
Now for another prize where there was stiff competition.............Best(worst) craptastic apartment slum surrounding an ancient city!...........the Spanish are really good at this ............take an ancient city full of magic............and then hide it behind a cloak of fascista era apartment blocks............now if you thought the commies were good at this you clearly haven´t seen fascist slum building............First prize Cordoba, commendations Granada, Sevilla, Barça.
Now for the Best (Worst) Destruction of an Ancient monument!..........there´s only one serious contender for this one..........that famous couple Isabella and Ferdinando have a lot to answer for............damn their eyes!......but in Cordoba you can see it all too comically...........the Mezquita was at one point the greatest Islamic building in the world.............a forest of columns providing a sanctuary of prayer for hundreds of years..........then those pesky Christians got on with their reconquista and found a mosque in their newly conquered city.......and one with way too many columns .............so what did they do?........well they built a basilica right smack bang in the middle of it....and turned the minaret into a clocktower.............so now we have an ancient mosque mashed with some gothic basillica which can only leave you dumbfounded once inside............this building is too ridiculous for words.......and such a shame for where the mosque remains you can see a building of incredible beauty.
This blog is starting to get a little long so i´ll try and stop ranting......
Best beer : The Spaniards do this so well.............sooooooooo much better than the Indians...........best beer goes to Sevilla where its always cold and always cheap............1 euro a pop.
And while we´re with Sevilla they can have best Snails............and nightlife....well for us anyways.
Contemporary Architecture:
Such, Such a shame that Miralles died when he did.............his work is so good........too often famous contemporary building are so disapointing when you get there..........but not so with this hombre.
........The Alcazar and it´s gardens
First Prize Igualada cemetery......honorouble mention to the roof of Santa Caterina markets........brilliant.
It´s funny at Igualada, since Miralles death it´s become the Archi equivalent of Jim Morrison´s grave........Korean architecture students have scrawled messages all over the walls and in fact every country has weeping representatives of their Architectural youth..............I´m still not too sure what ol´Enric would make of all of it.
Now just a couple of quick ones left.............worst lining up system.............Alhambra Granada............just too dumb for words..............and while we´re with the Alhambra..........the Alcazar in Sevilla shits on it..........so don´t believe the hype......
So I hope you´ve enjoyed the presentation and we promise to get back on track with the inaugural best/worst of Portugal next week.
Much love
Jamangie
