Afghanistan
Trip Start
Jun 01, 2004
1
2
Trip End
Dec 23, 2004
Kabul,
Afghanistan
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
These contrasts continue in everyday life, most notably within the people. I have been reluctant to go into too much detail about what I have experienced out here because like the mountains or the ruins, without perspective a false picture of Afghanistan will be presented. Since I have been in Afghanistan I have dug up a mine, lived within a few hundred metres of several rocket attacks, had my preferred restaurant nearly blown up and driven through the middle of a fatal shoot out. Again this simple litany of significant events provides no real description of my life here. I feel as safe here as I did at home. I have more confidence walking the streets at night. None of this comes from an effective police or military presence but from the kindness and self discipline of the Afghan people.
Sadly, the confusion continues, for even this simple statement rings hollow without context. Afghans are kind and they are hospitable, but in a uniquely Afghan way. Invariably when one hears reference to "The proud and generous Afghan people" what is truly meant is "proud and generous Afghan men". Close Afghan friends and colleagues of mine hold the most bigoted and repressive views on women's rights. A quiet conversation over lunch often sees me choking back a combination of rage and surprise. Rage that these views are not only held but practiced, and surprise that they come from the mouth of a well educated, intelligent and kind human whom I like and respect.
Again the swirling world of Afghan contrasts comes into play. In a super macho world where women are seldom seen and certainly not socialized with, one might expect a wild testosterone fueled world of fighting, foul language and poor hygiene. In fact, the opposite is true. In the absence of any female interaction the normal roles of women are taken on by these same "noble and proud Afghan men". Every other Afghan man seems to have bright red hair from over exuberant use of henna, in an attempt to stay young and beautiful. The purchase of clothing is a fussy affair with burly Afghan men reassuring each other that they look good in each item. A meeting of male minds here often turns into a mammoth gossip session. The slightest cut, graze or stomach bug is met by rampant clucking and caressing from concerned Afghan guys, each offering his favorite cure. On a personal note I've lost count of the numb! er of compliments I've received about my "beautiful eyes" from bearded middle aged Afghan men. So, to say that Afghan society is psychologically screwed up through its treatment of women is probably a truism. One only has to see the Gulbatchas (flower boys) of the senior Pashtoon tribal leaders or hear the phrase "a woman for a wife, a man for a friend and a boy for a lover" said only half in jest, to realize it.Having read through what I've written I still feel let down by the inability to truly express the reality of life out here. In many ways I wonder whether the strange world of Afghan gender values is perhaps less wrong than it is just alien to me. There is no doubt that behind the burhkas many happy and contented Afghan women bustle through the streets buying supper for a hungry brood that she delights in raising. It could also be argued that this re-alignment of gender values provides the framework for stability. There is no doubt that the aforementioned kindness, discipline and hospitality of Afghan men comes directly from the lack of women to impress or perform for. It all seems crazy from the outside and I guess I'll never really understand it, but suffice to say that here a delicate balance of contrasting factors keep Afghanistan in a state of fragile peace. However, the fact that this hasn't been the case! for the last 25 years bodes badly for its longevity if left alone by the international community.
Politics out here is a mad and fascinating world of greed, courage, corruption and dedication that I can't even begin to describe. However, it's worth mentioning that there are no good guys or bad guys, that would be too simple for Afghanistan. Drug lords preach progress for Afghanistan whilst poisoning the world with opium. Reformers take bribes or succumb to fearful intimidation de-valuing otherwise promising rhetoric. While the world tries to find a simple solution to this inconvenient problem, Afghanistan continues to be doggedly complex. Completing this picture of precariously balanced opposites are the foreign "aid workers". Like myself, thousands of well intentioned Europeans, Americans and Africans live in Afghanistan offering their efforts and brains for the benefit of the Afghans. From home, the deprivations endured by aid workers here seem extreme. These hardships are often, but not always, poorly compensated for in very modest salaries. So where is the contrast here? Surely these are the heroes of our tale? Leaving home to do good in a war ravaged land. It doesn't get much more clear cut than that, does it? Sadly, like everything here it's not that simple. A salary of 18,000 UKSterling seems modest for someone occupying a senior management position within a world wide aid agency. Sadly it equates to about 700,000 UKSterling when compared to the average wage out here.
Herein lies the problem. One can leave the UK on a quest to do "something worthwhile", taking a 50% pay cut en-route. Unfortunately on arrival the first thing one notices is that your trousers cost the same as two weeks wages to the average Afghan, your sunglasses are a month's worth, the watch on your wrist could keep a poor family comfortably for half a year. So in keeping with this land of contrasts here is the one us aid workers live in: We all get a warm fuzzy feeling from giving out medicine, providing governmental infrastructure or digging up land mines. However every time we tie the laces on our designer trainers or furtively sneak away to the "western" shop to spent the equivalent of 2 weeks wages on pot noodles and contraband booze this is totally undermined. I suspect that whilst at home, money is frittered on socially damaging consumables and status symbols, there are few more guilt ridden westerne! rs than the average aid worker.
The job The HALO Trust do out here is undeniably worthwhile. One only has to see the contrast of the barren minefields next to the lush green cultivated areas that we have cleared to prove it. The sacrifices we ex-patriots have all made to do it are real, as are the dangers. Despite this, the atmosphere is not one of mutual backslapping, congratulating each other on being great guys. Instead the general feeling is, as one might expect by now, a confused mix. Humbling respect for the people who have had to carve out a living through war, drought and governmental intolerance. Rabid frustration at the slow pace of change and the political obstacles thrown up in the face of every new initiative. Embarrassment in the face of some of our fellow westerners who through greed, intolerance or stupidity shame us all. Perhaps most strongly, an overwhelming fear that we are one of them.
I apologies for the lack of characteristic witty one-liners in this email but just wanted to give any future emails a bit of background. Out here nothing is as simple as it may seem, goodies, baddies, danger, safety all merge into a confusing kaleidoscope of opinion. To survive it, and come out sane, one just has to focus on the undeniable truths. The beauty, the kindness, the work to be done and the progress already made.
