Old and grey, if theres any hair left!!
Trip Start
Jul 24, 2008
1
18
22
Trip End
Ongoing
Seminyak,
Bali,
Indonesia
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Most importantly, Lily Grace Stewart, LGS, has arrived! My family is one larger by the size of one gorgeous little bundle of blondness. I am officially an uncle, (as apposed to the adoptive 'gay uncle Ian' I have been to date!) It is an incredible feeling of joy and thankfulness to know my genes are getting passed on, bit of a sideways route but it works for meercats, (scientifically documented that families are more successful the more lesbian aunts they have, obviously this also works for gay uncles!). I also feel, well how can I put it... Oh that's right, old. I'm an uncle... John is a father.. A dad... a Da! Surely these events are several decades in the future??
What's been going on... well, the year 9 camp never happened! Disastrously gutted about that, but with the condition within Indonesia being so dodgy at the moment there was no way we could travel to Java and take a risk. For those of you out of the loop... The Bali bombings which were possibly part of the whole situation with 9/11 , the Madrid bombs and 7/7. They caught the three of those responsible and they have been held in prison over here since then... They were executed last weekend amongst all sorts of dire warnings of retribution etc... Currently there are consulate travel warnings in place for all of Indonesia but in reality the only seriously dangerous place is Java... where the bombers were executed. To re-focus from the tragic bombings to the present, Java was precisely where our school camp was heading... Outcome we're buggered. Whole thing cancelled and had to stay in school and teach - yeuch! On top of this year 7 could still go, as they were staying inside Bali!! So had to do loads of bloody cover for the teachers that went... Suck-fest is right!
In other news I am apparently beginning a small rebellion within school. Having become very dissatisfied with the despotic rule of our current principle and school board - none of whom seem to have much understanding of how to teach! - I have started to make subtle enquires within the staff and discovered a huge well of discontent. After some careful musing I have tapped into this well, stirred a teeny bit and slowly but surely we are starting to refuse... Starting small with asking why meetings don't have agenda's and minutes open and accessible to staff. Next move will be slightly harsher. A document is currently being produced to attach to a staff questionnaire on the school. Needless to say there are some quite damning comments in this document. I won't go into details here - you never know when documents can go awry and be leaked, but I may well be sacked and on my way home at Christmas instead of just visiting!! Yay for the power and excitement of the masses when in open rebellion!
However if things go well we may actually start running a decent school where staff and students are the focus instead of money and bureaucratic power, yeuch for tight-fisted, small minded, ignorant little men who seem to think they must know all about the world because they once got some questions right on a test 37 years ago. And that they should be very rude to anyone who does not completely abase themselves before their obvious might and majesty.
Anyway, clearly got my knickers in a twist over this, but will shut up now and apologise to those of you who see me over the Christmas period... as I am sure to obsessively rant to you about this at some point.
Just got my hair cut again... Aside from the ever encroaching grey I am now old enough to be able to see my scalp through the hair when it's wet!!! Oh the humanity!! I seriously don't know where to go from here... How does one pull when involuntarily bald? I can barely flirt with a full head of hair. The long slide into death is irritating enough as it is but does it really need to be punctuated with actual physical evidence of your body's deterioration? Surely we could go from youthful and healthy to dead over night... You know, like the Mayfly does, much less traumatic!
Anyway the hairdresser was either gay or had, had a very unfortunate accident involving his testes as a child, because his voice was so high falsetto singers would be envious. He smiles, in what I am sure he thinks is a beguiling manner, but in reality only makes me wish premature balding had sped up its pace and made this trip unnecessary. He led me through to the wash room where tepid water fails to warm or cool me, while a cheap, harsh shampoo with a mysterious and offensive scent is splashed liberally across my scalp causing an almost instant, irritating, rash to appear. After rinsing my scalp blessedly clean of this chemical treatment I am led back to the chair where I suffered through what can only be described as a cross between an erotic massage delivered by a limp wristed woman, (please insert involuntary shudder here) and a chimp's attempts at scissor manipulation. When he was not concentrating on touching me up while flicking sharpened metal next to my eyes he seemed obsessed with stroking various parts of my face, head, shoulders and leg?!? As time progressed the horrific realisation that he was slowly shaping my hair into a quaffed spike, which is the current, local sensational, fashion, fad crept over me. Needless to say it is dire enough on an Indonesian man, on me it makes me resemble an elderly Tintin, oh with a big, shiny, red, nose... Wonder if I'll pull tonight? He leads me back to the wash room for a second dousing in what I now faintly recognise as the smell of sheep dip. Towelling me dry as if I was a border collie, with suspiciously high levels of attention to my ears. I am led to my chair for a third time and a bright green oil is rubbed vigorously into my scalp... This does not cause any irritation although the scalp-rub which went with it almost popped open the fixed joints in my skull. He then tilts my head to an angle from where I can see all three of my chins, the shadows under my eyes and just how much of my scalp is visible through my hair and asks what I think... After smiling warmly and telling him it was wonderful I pay him the equivalent of a fiver, which includes a fairly hefty tip. Have just spent the last twenty minutes washing out all the crap off my head and attempting to sow the seeds of a come over, (for those of you who do not know me that last sentence needs to be met with a sentiment approximate to 'Poor, poor! Ian!' sniff).
On the plus side, I'm off out in half an hour to get wasted with a quite decent bunch of teachers... Sorry to enjoy an aperitif or maybe two. Hope your all missing me heaps and heaps, would be so disappointing to come home to discover that none of you were that bothered! Missing some of you loads, some of you I never quite cared for and it has been a blessed relief not to have to pander to your incessant rubbish for the last four months.
See you soon!
Ixxx
