Poor, poor, sick Ian!!
Trip Start
Jul 24, 2008
1
14
22
Trip End
Ongoing
Umalas,
Indonesia
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Bare with me if this message is slightly garbled but am still suffering from some of the symptoms I am about to relate. On the Friday following the disastrous adventure involving Mr. Ketut and Mr. Ketut, I was feeling a little bit tired and stressed, but was totally unprepared for what was to follow. My temperature kept rising throughout the weekend and between sweating my own body weight and the fever breaking on Sunday I had developed some interesting new symptoms... A charming stabbing pain that expands rapidly through my chest, beginning just below my ribs on the left side and shooting in both directions across to my spine and the right side of my ribs. Despite the startling pain I am happy to say it only actually bothers me when I laugh, when something inside my body moves position or when I inhale. Lucky it isn't something more continuous eh?
Ok, so the pain drove me to the hospital... International SOS is a private hospital, who kindly only demand $50 up front before rendering aid to the sick, (luckily for me, as I still have no money left after paying rent!) After an ECG, a chest x-ray and several blood tests as well as a medical exam that allowed a doctor to get so close I'm expecting the flowers and second date phone call any minute now, (oh! Who am I kidding, I'm really expecting the embarrassing moment when I run into him with his wife at the supermarket and realise he's just a window shopper!) the prognosis was a viral infection... God knows I could have told them that several million Rp ago!.. I get sent home and told to rest, Eurgh! More rest! I am starting to hallucinate through boredom and the Will and Grace marathon is starting to warp my view of the world into neat little twenty minute sections of knotty drama which resolve into a meaningless soup all ready to repeat the next time through! By the way, for those of you keeping count that's the seventh ECG in my life so far... at this rate you'll be able to tell my age by how many the number has gone up!
So the next day I wake up and cautiously inhale... No pain! I twist gently to the side... No pain! Could it be the doctor was right?!? Surely the first instance of this happening in a good thirty years or so?!? I get out of bed and make for the bathroom. Many emotions run through my head as I peel myself up from the cold ceramic tiles of my bedroom floor, but the most complex of these can be summed up very simply - 'Ow!' Shakily I stand and attempt to walk into the bathroom a second time. This time, ready for a trick, I manage to stop short of the doorframe and avoid knocking myself unconscious. I feel my way into the bathroom and complete my ablutions, stand up and end up falling sideways into the bath... I can't help wondering, as I heave myself back over the side, when my life became an episode of the three stooges and when did the Earth's spinning become so erratic?
Your sense of balance is surprisingly debilitating, I can't walk or even move my head slightly, without the world swimming. As a result I can barely eat without wanting to throw up. Needless to say I went back to the doctor and our second date was very traumatic, but after the whole wife issue was talked through we managed to sort out my medical concerns. I am now on anti-vertigo medication, anti-nausea medication, two types of gastric med's and enough vitamins to render an Olympic ban and yet the world keeps turning, turning, turning - oh god I feel sick!
However life's not all bad... got so bored that have started going out and about with the help of friends - too god damn boring staying in! - Had a full body massage yesterday and let me tell you, apart from the bit where a woman touches your ass, (please insert image of involuntary shudder here), they rock!! Seriously awesome and they don't involve moving! Yay for the inventors of stationary exercise! Afterwards felt wiped but all glowy. Anyway my sickness means I have limited news so it's up to you guys to entertain me!! Apa Kabar?
Loving oh so many of you right now,
Ixxx
