Sun, sea and self control, (bugger!)
Trip Start
Jul 24, 2008
1
11
22
Trip End
Ongoing
Umalas,
Indonesia
Monday, September 22, 2008
Well where to start today... Stupid god damn banking system! The owners of my villa have contacted me through Chris, (I'm so honest I am practically paying for this villa for you) To say, angrily that they have not yet had any money!! Not the 20 million from the school and not my 17 million... hmmm... I say, I'd be pretty pissed off as well! God alone knows where the schools money has gone but mine was taken from my account and then returned five days later... why? Because I am only allowed to transfer 10 million a day... Um, could you have told me that before taking my money etc - of course didn't check the bastard account as assumed it was empty!! Now not sure they will let me transfer all the money cos it's so temperamental, doesn't matter anyway as the internet won't let me connect anyway... God alive, why doesn't anything work in this third world country! Oh yeah, it's third world... Well I am not going to let it stress me out - Deep breath in and breathe the anger out, in and out, nope sorry but nothing works quite as well as swearing loudly in public and scaring the other customers here... What you looking at eh? Weirdo Australian, thinking he's so hot with a surfers body, pah! Hang on a minute... Oh shit, scared him off now - honestly can't catch a break this week! Can not quite believe this is the week I have chosen to quit smoking! Seriously bad timing, (motto for my life?)
Anyway back to lighter notes - Still massively obsessed with this Tuka Pizza guy - He doesn't work there, (although Nganga, who does, is bloody fit as well!) Adi is, well, not pretty or cool in any kind of conventional sense, can't speak good English, oh and has his nails manicured once a week while having his facial etc, etc... He is not your traditional Balinese, his family are a bit loaded, well relatively speaking. Despite the blatantly poofy pampering of himself - don't think he bats for my team - He is just about to get a girlfriend, beatch. Clearly would be far better for him to go out with me and be ostracised by his whole family and all his friends for not getting married. If only I could communicate the word ostracised in Bahasa Indonesia I know he would agree... Hmmm...
Went shopping on Saturday to Bali galleria the biggest mall here... As fascinating as Agatha Christie books translated into Bahasa Indonesia and over priced Nike pyjama-ware-for-the-intellectually-challenged are they do not really move me to an orgasmic shopping experience... However this was made up for by the scary, army of shop assistants... There was actually 2 - 3 assistants for every customer and they strode about the shop in plastic, badly fitting, black high heels, click clack, click clack, click clack. At one point they closed in from all directions and I was surrounded by seventeen separate assistants - all identically dressed, with identical make-up... All doing nothing! I could only see two customers and they were being swept off by the tide of green-attired staff, probably to be tested on and converted by the hive mother into more drones! Yay for the Balinese governments drive to employ all citizens regardless of the need for jobs in that sector! Luckily I managed to escape with my mind intact, yay for the tourist immunity to drone slavery!
In other news I had a blind date on Saturday... Ery from Tuka set me up with a friend of his wife's. How exactly he managed to do this without mentioning the fact that I am gay, he is gay, or that he was arranging the meeting I am not sure, but between the loaded pauses and careful translations it became apparent that he was not coming over for the pizza. He seemed like a nice guy and if he could have spoken more than 20 English words or had bottom teeth that did not jut out roughly 5cm further than his top teeth, then who can say perhaps love would have found a home there - as it is I require either intellectual or physical stimulus for a relationship and both were sadly misplaced on that evening. Was even harder to talk to Ery the next day and tell him that I wasn't really interested, without referring to what I was, or was not interested in. Without mentioning men, gayness, Antoni or the previous night - all of which sent Ery into splutterings of embarrassment and continous offerings of food, drink and cigarettes until I seriously began to worry for his bank balance. Eventually I managed to have a conversation and sort it out. At this point Ery immediately started talking about another 'friend' of his wife's. Slightly astonished I have slowly understood that being Gay is fine, having a male partner is fine, Groping one another in public if actively encouraged, but you must never, ever, ever, talk about it or admit that you are not some day going to get married! Bizarre but true. Also starting to suspect that Ery's wife may not work at a bank at all but in fact some kind of gay pimping agency, will have to keep my eye on her!
So anyway, quickly ditched the dud and went out to see a world music band that was so good it almost satisfied me, they played 'Roxanne' with the Balinese 'Che Chuk' and an Indian sita, followed by Beethoven's flight of the bumble bee with a didgery doo and electric violin - seriously almost passed out it was so good, (nothing at all to do with the seriously toxic levels of arak that had been administered to me for my poor health). Then, after humiliating myself by dancing to latin music with Helena like some kind of latino lothario, with epilepsy, I topped off the evening with a seriously horrific set of Irish dancing to a river-dance take off, (sob, sniff, oh for my poor, wretched, self respect - I knew you for such a short time!). Ended up being whisked down to La Vida Loca, (Techno crap for most of the evening, surrounded by ladies of the night who don't seem to understand the term 'Maaf saya gey!').
Finally decided to walk the three kilometres home as it was a pleasant evening and two in the morning is a fine time for a stroll. About ten minutes in I was cursing my stupidity and looking for a taksi... Which is when a quiet devastatingly, handsome boy pulled up on a bike and offered me a lift home, clearly this would have been a terrible mistake, common sense came rushing to my defence and listed the bad points... He could be a killer, he will know where you live, he is probably waiting to mug you around the corner, I agreed whole-heartedly and decided to be a grown up and walk the remaining two and a half km! During the very warm and snugly motorcycle trip home I came to realise that common sense can be very dull at times. However I did realise that it was probably not a good idea to go any further and got him to drop me off at the end of my street. Even managed to avoid kissing him despite severe provocation on more than one occasion. Yay for unwarranted self control! Went to bed exhausted and happy, but fairly wound up, definitely the best night here so far, hope I find someone to settle down with before I have too many more, my body can't take that kind of abuse like it used to!
Hmmm, better go butt's and buttesses,
Love to you all,
Ixxx
