Der da da der da da der der der derrrrrrrrr!
Good evening & welcome to tonight's news:
The four British explorers lost deep in the Malaysian jungle have turned up safe & well after three harrowing days battling the elements & wild animals.
The four, all male, thought to be in their mid to late twenties were last seen wandering into Taman Negara national park with in-adequate supplies, inappropriately dressed & clutching a map which appeared to have been drawn by a toddler!
It seems the quartet of not very experienced hikers ran into trouble when they turned down the offer of a guide & hiked 14km into the jungle on their own on the first day.
They managed to stumble across an old hunting hide on the first night, where they managed to bake some wild beans before passing out, exhausted from the energy sapping hike through tropical conditions!
Trying to find their way out on the second day, they followed a hunting path which at one point disappeared into nothing leaving the gang lost, confused & disorientated!
Eventually they found their way back to an actual track by retracing the unmistakable footprints of a pair of Dunlop Green Flash, worn by the groups trendiest member Iain Carver.
Fatigued from hiking somewhere between 10-12km due to getting lost twice,
plus with cold setting in from a treacherous river crossing & losing the race against dusk, the team found shelter & set up camp for a another dangerous, lonely night in the deadly jungle!
Around 2pm on Friday, the group stumbled into the bar at the Jungle's base camp, unaware of the international concern over their disappearance. They were said to be hungry, dehydrated, exhausted & smelling disgusting but otherwise in good spirits as they drank a beer each before being ferried back to civilisation by long boat!