How to...

  Sanaa, Yemen
Thursday, February 15, 2007

How to get lost, piss off your hosts, lose all your friends, and get kidnapped

Well, randomly leaving the table and wandering off alone in the streets of Sanaa after midnight is a good start--which is what I did, and sometimes I don't know why I do the things that I do. 

Don't ever do this!  You might have to face worse than the This-is-Yemen-and-not-America Lecture, or the You-have-offended-your-hosts Lecture. 

How to do Arabic Calligraphy

Kim arranged for us to take an Arabic calligraphy lesson with one of her instructors.  So early this morning we took a bus into school and got to work.  Arabic calligraphy...it's not as easy as you would think.  It's apparently a exact art and fine science, and calligraphers must have to study for years before they master it. 

The first problem with the lesson, was that the entire thing was in Arabic, which makes a difficult matter even worse.  Secondly, the instructor didn't seem to like me much...he kept telling me my letters were "so-so", even though I made my letters identical to his.  And Kim usually got praise...I felt like screaming, I'm doing the same exact thing as you guys!  The lesson was definately humbling, although I didn't learn that much apart from the proper way to make the first five shapes of the letters in the Arabic alphabet, and several styles of writing.  But I certainly have a new respect for calligraphers.

How to haggle

This is a way of life in Yemen.  You have to do it, or else everyone thinks you're a sucker (including ME), even if the prices are already ridiculously cheap.  It's kind of weird for folks from American/European societies, and you feel kind of intimidated about it at first, but just bite your tongue and do it.

Now, I'm not a great example, but here's what I do:

1.  Ask price.
2.  Price is often twice what it should be, because you're not Yemeni.  Half it, then ask if you can have it for +-200 riyals less than your figured price.
3.  The answer is no.  Notch it up a unit.
4.  The answer is still no.  Really insist--in the words of Kim: BE STRONG.  Just when you think you are about to break, the guy will probably relent.  If not, compromise and notch it up another unit.  Remember, it's still ridiculously cheap, even if you paid the initial price.
5.  BE FAMILIAR WITH BASIC ARABIC AND NUMBERS.  AND MATH.

She's so adorable!

Off the books (and this is a rule of thumb for anywhere in the world, I'm not singling out dear Yemen)--make sure there's a cute girl with you.  I hate to be crude and chauvinist, but this probably actually works, no matter where you go.  It's scientific fact!  Everyone gives free stuff to beautiful people!  Kim--who is just adorable--was with me the whole time, helping me out.  Now, I'm not adorable in hijab.  I look sort of like Omar Sharif...only less handsome.  And no facial hair...but that's another story.

But anyway, we got great prices on things!

And that is how you haggle.