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Manholding
Entry 12 of 29 | show all | print this entry |
Kathmandu is a bustling city of a few million. It sprawls in the Kathmandu valley and is littered with stupas, pagodas, monasteries (gompas) and Hindu temples. The Buddhists of the mountains and the Hindus of the Indian plains converge on this sacred center, sharing its monuments in peaceful dedication to their faith. In all this religious fervor I saw something so foreign that I would be remiss in not telling you about the phenomenon of "man-holding".
Any and all of us have surely held hands with someone at one point in life. Children grasp a parent as they cross the street, little girls grip palms and skip down the sidewalk and couples lock digits in a prelude to locking lips. I personally find the practice nauseating and can hardly stand to watch it, never mind partake in it. Two people hand in hand with both awkwardly wondering when the moment is finally going to end sends shivers down m my spine. Hands mimicking the emotional arc as they progress from cool, to warm then warm to clammy and finally clammy to a full blown sweaty palm. I find it the most revolting amorous practice and would be more than happy to never have to do it again. With that being said, imagine my shock and utter confusion when i saw hundreds of men walking the streets holding hands or arm-in-arm.
I spent the last 4 years of my life in San Francisco and Sydney, two of the gayest cities on the planet, and had never seen anything even close to this manholding activity. The whole scene felt like a PG-rated Kathmandu circuit party. I knew in a region of the world with little tolerance of homosexuality that this manholding could not be a sign of an emerging gay jet-set destination. But what could it be? After chatting with some people and hearing about the same behaviors in India and the Middle East I developed a theory.
Islam and Hinduism have little to no direct physical contact ct permissible between unmarried men and women. The physical closeness, in a sexual and non-sexual context, that westerners seek in friends and lovers of the opposite sex is limited or non-existent in these cultures. As a result, I believe, that the men provide a level of fraternal physical intimacy that fulfills that basic human need for touch and proximity to other people. Culturally this need has been driven within a single sex, just as in America is has been marginalized to between sexes.
Whatever the driver of this behavior, it was mind-blowing to see it in all its splendor as PDAs were visible on almost any street corner at any time of day. If anyone else has a theory on why it is so prevalent in this part of the world I'd be happy to hear some alternatives. Rationalizing my way through the whole thing has been huge for me in getting over the manholding. A better explanation would do wonders in helping me get to sleep at night.
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