Millennium Park

Trip Start Aug 24, 2007

Trip End Jul 04, 2008

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Flag of China Kaifeng, China
Sunday, December 16, 2007

    I don't know if it was the knife-thrower, the camel or the promise of aquatic puppetry, but somewhere along the line I became obsessed with the Song Dynasty. If you live in Kaifeng, you live, breathe and worship the Song Dynasty. So much so, the city built an amusement park based on a famous scroll depicting every day life during the Song Dynasty in its capital - Kaifeng. This amusement park, called QingMing Garden in Chinese and Millennium Park in English, is the physical manifestation of this scroll and symbolizes Kaifeng's obsession with its more glorified past. Some people never got over Nirvana; Kaifeng never got over its heyday of 960 AD.

    You enter into the fake dynasty capital by handing your ticket to two extremely bored gate keepers dressed up as Song Dynasty citizens. Passing underneath the gate, you enter into this bizarre land of modern-day Chinese tourist kitsch where souvenir shops hawk chincey Chinese fans, baseball caps, Song Dynasty paraphernalia and Coke products. These shops are manned by employees dressed up in Song Dynasty regalia who pass their time by playing cards or reading newspapers. For a couple of kuai, you can dress up in Song Dynasty costumes, sit on a Song Dynasty throne and have your picture taken. There are timed theatrical re-enactments about mysterious precious swords that are stolen by "rascal bullies" and the park grounds are dotted with weird plaster-casted elephants, camels and horses. It's the type of place I hate in the United States. In China though, my standards are much more relaxed. That's mainly because I have no idea what's going on most of the time and also because safety standards are non-existent so that makes everything more exciting.

    Erin, Ben, Alex and myself excitedly maneuvered around the park going from fantastical folk feats to break-dancing soccer to horse polo to Song Dynasty puppet shows to the Funny Zone. Sitting in the front row during fantastical folk feats might not have been the best decision. The beginning of the act featured a guy wielding a twenty-foot whip that he lashed about a little to close for comfort. There was a point where they asked for volunteers for the knife throwing section and literally everyone turned and looked at us. There was also this disturbing contortionist girl (see video) who looked so bored with her job and you could tell the whole time she was thinking "God, I do this five times a day. It's not that exciting, you just stretch." But honestly, just watch the video...that's not a normal thing to do as your profession.

    The whole experience was awesome though. I feel like it was the first time that Kaifeng has embraced its ridiculousness and really reveled in it. I just can't wait to go back to the park in the summer when there's an aquatic war between the Song Dynasty and the invaders. And this time, unlike in history, the Song Dynasty will win!.

bored song dynasty employee

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passing time	fantastical folk feats	head jump roper	contortionist girl
song dynasty camel!	song dynasty cigarette lighter	fire breather	wives for sale
puppets	puppets with guns.	millennium park	millennium park 2
bridge	smogset!	song dynasty architecture	chinese tourists
soccer dude.	break dance fight	break dance sass	more smogset
boat	acrobatics hall	camel sass.