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Adventures at Tetanus Playground, chapter 1
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So while my friends in other parts of China were battling typhoons and the walls of rain that pummeled them this week, I reveled in the absolute gorgeousness of Kaifeng. For the first time since I've arrived, it hasn't been muggy and instead has been the ideal weather for walking around. It's been so nice, that I felt justified in not making a dent in grading the piles of essays that appear to be on a steroid-induced growth spurt. Wandering around aimlessly instead of working was clearly a better choice.
Most everyone has heard stories about a friend's "great moment" that happened during their travels. The story usually follows the same twists and turns - an aimless walk leads to a great discovery, a new friend or perhaps a personal epiphany, etc. Sometimes I feel like those stories are somewhat mythical and very rarely ever come to fruition, sort of like the now mythical status of a Jack Kerouac "On the Road" story. Somehow it has morphed into the ultimate traveler urban legend. Well, this isn't a traveling urban legend. It's the story of how we found the Tetanus Playground.
I've wanted to scale an ancient city wall ever since I knew you could do that when my brother and sister walked around the wall surrounding Bern, Switzerland. Yet, every quest I've ever undertaken to accomplish this task has somehow run afoul because of scheduling problems or mishaps. Well, now that I'm living in a city that has its own ancient wall for me to scale, it was going to happen come hell or high water. So on Tuesday, faced with a free afternoon and our Nalgenes, Erin and I decided to walk around Kaifeng's city wall until we found a suitable spot to climb.
Exiting the city's West Gate, we walked along the wall and through one of those spots where you aren't really sure if it's a construction site, an almost apocalypse land or a homeless person encampment. Winding our way through the piles of stacked bricks, the tents and the burning bush, we found ourselves entering into a small woodsy area. Old men were exercising with this small Asian object that resembles a dreadle, but comes with a string that you wrap around self, allowing you to swing the dreadle-type thing in the air and around your body as it makes whirring noises. Passing by the old men and a small clump of dilapidated thatched-roof houses nestled into the leafy dip of land beyond the path, we spotted what appeared to be an abandoned toy car track. The toy cars had creepy evil looking monkeys sculpted onto the front of the car and the plastic hollowed out in the middle, big enough to hold a small child or two.
Then we noticed the large rusted wire frames of a greater playground complex equipped with slides, bridges, teetor-totters and everything else from the playgrounds of my childhood that are no longer deemed safe. Large clumps of grass were wrestling their way through the cracks in the sidewalk, making the pavement uneven. The entranceway to the complex was adorned with a sign that had all but rusted over, leaving the Chinese characters barely visible.
"What is this place?" Erin asked. I had no idea, but the only thing it reminded me of was of the movie "Return to Oz," the scary take on the "Wizard of Oz."
"I have no idea," I said. "I wonder what would happen if we went inside?"
As we turned around to see if anyone was near by to see us climb the fence, we noticed that behind us spread a whole other play complex full of decrepit playground equipment. There were wooden bridges, a rope climbing wall, a trampoline, rows and rows of swings and most importantly - the ball that simulates what it's like to float in a gravity-free area that they only have at space camps. And then we saw the bumper cars.
"Oh my God, we HAVE to go in here," Erin said.
I couldn't agree more.
Finally we saw a middle-aged woman lounging in a hammock. Trying to communicate with her in my fledgling Chinese, we paid her three kuai to enter. She gave us free range to play on the structures.
The rest of the afternoon Erin and I messed around with the Space Camp ball where I probably ended up getting tetanus and we scaled the giant rope climbing wall which we now call the rope mountain of death. It's the type of place where once you reach the top, climb onto the platform and realize that you have to climb back down, you end up reaffirming your friendship with people and assess your life.
"You've been a great friend," we both said at the same time looking at each other.
"Um, just so you know, my blood type is A positive," I told her. "And I don't want a blood transfusion in China if I happen to need one."
"Right. Ok. I will demand that we do not want blood to Tetanus Playground lady as you lay there in a pool of blood and I am passing out in pain from a broken leg. Got it," she replied.
When we finally reached the safety of land again, we were approached by Tetanus Playground Lady and a shirtless younger looking man. Erin and I were both sweaty and gross from climbing down the giant rope net. We looked at each other and both thought, Oh God, here we go.
The conversation went something like this -
Shirtless guy - babble babble babble babble babble.
Me - Uh...Wa bo whay shwa putonghua. (I don't speak Chinese.)
SG - babble babble babble babble babble English?
Me - Uh...I don't speak Chinese?
Tetanus Playground Lady - babble babble babble something about beer and Kaifeng.
Me - .........
Finally, after several minutes of babbles and Erin and I sharing glances of "Uhhhhh?" I figured out that the woman's name is Bian Li and this is her son, Liu Peng. And the best part was, they told us we didn't have to pay again if we came back to Tetanus Playground. When Erin and I left, we were exhilarated and deliriously happy that we found Tetanus Playground. We were so happy, that I forgot about the mission to climb the wall. We were also so happy, that we accidentally walked right through Chinese Police Training. That was fun.
Latest Comments (2)
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*fits of laughter (reply)
Sep 21, 2007 05:26 EST by jess.joy
'Wo bu hui shuo Putonghua' --> correct
'Wa bo whay shwa putonghua' --> babble
I need to come to Tetanus playground with you. Need.
Can we pack a picnic and eat it at the top of the rope mountain of death?
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*fits of laughter (reply)
Sep 21, 2007 05:26 EST by jess.joy
'Wo bu hui shuo Putonhua' --> correct
'Wa bo whay shwa putonghua' --> babble
I need to come to Tetanus playground with you. Need.
Can we pack a picnic and eat it at the top of the rope mountain of death?
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| 7. | Adventures at Tetanus Playground, chapter 1 - Kaifeng, China Sep 21, 2007 (  12 ) (  2 ) |
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