The joys of bureaucracy

  Barranquilla, Colombia
Saturday, August 9, 2008

Sunset over the Caribbean

So the Colombian bureaucratic system is an absolute joy.No wonder people don't come here. It's not the guerrillas it's the minefield of red tape i tell you!I've spent the last few days navigating the system in order to get my "alien card". First I had to go to the dreaded DAS office to get the forms. Then ensued a tour of the whole city to get everything I needed...passport photos of me sweating profusely in the tropical heat, queuing at the bank to pay a ridiculous amount of money, going to the local "laboratorio" where I had to pay a stern looking nurse with a rubber tube and a big needle to take my blood for testing, and finally photocopies of all these wonderful documents and my visa, which I was then told were unacceptable because I hadn't mastered the almost impossible task of getting all the documents copied onto the same page. At this point the lady at the office was treated to a few muttered choice English words before I was dragged behind the desk to have all my fingerprints and both my hand prints taken. Talk about paranoid! And after all this and a 3 day wait, they proudly presented me with a scrap of paper the size of a credit card, complete with my fingerprint and sweaty photo. Super. That's not one I'll be flashing at the Fubar bouncers when I get back to Stirling!

Fun huts

so today I got to go wait in the DIAN office for two hours (the first one was spent in the queue outside said office, again melting in the tropical heat. I don't think I've ever felt quite so British). Apparently I was queuing for another certificate which I needed to be able to work, which I couldn't have got without my "alien card". But apparently I can't get a contract to work without this certificate, and I can't open a bank account without all of the above, hence I don't get paid. So I'm leaving it til Monday before I attempt the queues at the bank! Nifty huh? Hopefully by Monday that'll be it sorted and I can really start enjoying myself!

Well, for those of you who aren't on bebo / facebook / my mother's grapevine, you'll be pleased to know that I've found a flat! it's a great flat in  the best part of the city, and really near the uni. I'm sharing with a guy called Pedro, who's really nice, but isn't in the flat much because he works a lot, so I've got the place to myself most of the time. All this for the grand price of £100 a month which ain't bad!

Unfortunately no-one picks up their rubbish!

The university is, for lack of a better word, spectacular! It's better equipped than most British universities, so they can't be short of a bob or two!The languages department even has a plasma TV in the reception area, which churns out movies like Spiderman and Harry Potter all day, which the students can watch in between classes!Or, I'm sure, instead of classes!And if you stroll down to the nearby cafe, you can sit and chat with your friends over a 3 course lunch, or chat on the internet on one of their 50 computers complete with state-of-the-art web cams. Or, if you feel like just chillin', there's always the lazy boy area, where, for a small fee, you can eat your lunch on a lazy boy whilst watching a film of your choice on your own personal TV. Man I wish I'd studied here!!!
Unfortunately I just work there! I'm teaching 2nd level English (out of 8 levels) so they're still just beginners, but I've been given a textbook to follow and I officially start on Monday. As well, I'm expected to write and administer oral exams and give cultural classes on their extension programme for extra credits. Oh, and I get an office too. That's possibly the bit I'm most excited about.

Right, I think that's enough for now! I'll leave you with some pictures of yesterday when I went down to the beach at sunset with some of the other assistants and one of the secretaries Heidys, and her little girl Mafe (short for Maria Fernanda). We drank a couple of beers then went to a local Arab restaurant for some falafel and other things which I didn't recognise. My stomach was not best pleased this morning.

Ordering the Aguila

Hope everyone is doing ok wherever you are!Keep sending the emails, it's great to hear from you all. Keeps the homesickness at bay!